My Boyfriend Is Having A Baby With His Ex, We Love Each Other So Much, But What Happens Now? What Do I Do? What Should I Feel?


9 Answers

kristin martinez Profile
I am amazed at how many people have been through this same thing.  I, too, and in this as we speak.  My live in boyfriend of 10 months, ex had his baby about a month ago.  She got pregnant right before he and I started dating and we found out about 1 1/2 months into our relationship.  He decided to go back to her at that time because he thought it was the right thing to do, but it lasted 3 days until he decided he wanted to be with me.  At the time, I never thought about how hard it would be when the baby arrived.. And it was along ways away, so I decided not to worry about it, be with him and see where our relationship went.  I wish I would have thought it through more.. Because now that the baby is here, it's hell.  It has changed things so much between us, we're still together, but he's having to juggle helping with the baby, making me happy and trying not to give the ex any indication there is a chance between them.  It's probably harder for him than it is for me. I advise anyone starting out in this kind of relationship to think it through.. And be prepared to be hurt, come second, and have to give your man space and support through it, which is really hard to do when you're hurting yourself.  You have to be selfless.. And think that if it's meant to be between you two, it will be.  Like another poster stated, a person is where they want to be, and my man is still home with me regardless.. If you can stick it out with your man, it will bring you two closer together because this is one situation that can either make or break a relationship!  Best Wishes to all of you!
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Pixie Moore
Pixie Moore commented
Try reading I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper - a book for anyone who needs help and advice dealing with their partner’s past relationship(s) - brilliant read! Available on Amazon or most bookstores - Kindle or paperback!
barbara foster Profile
barbara foster answered
You need to tell him good luck with that and RUN the other way.. I know it's hard but you'll be happier in the long run. That happened to my sister and he stayed with her after getting this other woman pregnant then a year later he got that same (other woman) pregnant again, my sister had no idea they were still seeing each other. My sister then left him and he ended up marrying the other girl. Just think of all the time she wasted, you don't want to be like that. By the way there is nothing wrong with these types of questions and it doesn't make you look ignorant in fact someone else might have the same question in the future and pull up your question and get some helpful advise from it.
Call me Rae..? Profile
Call me Rae..? answered
I think the best possible thing to do- you probably wont like my answer, and you may hate my advice completely- but I think that the right thing to do would be to let him go. If he has a baby with another girl, then imagine how he would feel if he lost that baby. If the girl takes his baby away, he may blame you for it, and then break up with you anyway. Then you and your boyfriend would both be heartbroken. You would be upset because you are without him and he would be upset with you, thinking that you made him lose his baby. If you let him go, it would save a lot of heartache. Of course you and your boyfriend would be upset for having to break up with each other, but he wouldn't lose his baby. And I know you probably don't care about what the other girl would go through, but she would be put through a lot, too. Like she would have to go through emotional stress with your boyfriend, and then she would blame you-or your boyfriend- for everything. Maybe if you respect that girl's feelings, maybe she will be okay with you dating him, as long as she isn't. She may respect you for respecting her, and I think it would be the best way to just not date him, and let him go.
ray of light Profile
ray of light answered
Well, that is a tough situation to tackle. But you should not be worried about it all right now. If you are sure that his ex has been sleeping around, then he should confirm whether the baby really belongs to him or to somebody else. Blood test, DNA test can prove the paternity. If he is the father, then he has to support his child. But if you people really love each other, nothing really matters, and you can still be together. So don't get afraid of losing him. Trust God with this one. Destiny is not just a myth. If he is made for you, he will not leave you for any reason. But if he is meant to go, you can not stop him.
Pixie Moore Profile
Pixie Moore answered
I recently read 'I Hate His/Her Ex' by Alex Cooper. Brilliant for any relationship problems that are connected to ex partners. Really good book and loads of ways to resolve issues - recommended reading. You can get it on amazon, kindle etc
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Sorry you have been used in this way. He felt he couldnt have sex with his wife because she was pregnant and looked for his oats elsewhere. She most likely doesnt even know you exist and thinks he is a hard working doting husband and father. If someone leaves someone while they are pregnant for another woman then I feel that should have rang big warning bells as to the type of man you are dealing with.
shannon moyer Profile
shannon moyer answered
WOW... I say ditch him if you don't love him and tell him you don't love him. My fiance has a kid with another girl and left her for me. He wont even talk to her but if he cheated on you with her and they still live under the same roof then find someone else. He isn't worth the time of day. If she weren't living there with him and they only saw each other every so often for the baby its a different story. But if you don't love him tho then let him go
Lady D Bell Profile
Lady D Bell answered
You need to tell him, being that he have cheated on you before with his ex girlfriend. That you have lost trusts in him and being that his baby mom living in the same household as him. You feel it will be to much for you to continue a relationship with him. It he would only have his own place you will feel much better.
nettie Profile
nettie answered
Which ever way this situation goes she can not deprive him of the child he can go to court and get visitation rights and joint custody also if that is hat he wants but as far as you and he,you guys have to work that one out,and consider it a lot of work it will be a test of how much who cares for whom....the best to you....

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