Me and my wife, we have been married more than two years and now we are thinking to have a baby together but last night she told me her feelings for me is changed. But she still want a baby and she still loves me. What should I do?

4 Answers

Darling Divaa Profile
Darling Divaa answered

If her feelings for you have changed, then you need to find out how they have changed and why they have changed. You both need to talk openly and hfonestly about your marriage. If that doesn't help then please try marriage counseling. Bringing a child into this will only make things worse!

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Davidson Johnson
because i am controlling sometime, but i only do it for her own good. i know she still loved me , she got my name tattooed on her 3 times and she is knows i never cheated on her and i love her more than anything but i guess me stopping her from stuff is the reason, but how can i fix that now? since she told me that, i cannot sleep or eat , i just can't stop thinking about it. i have been crying, trying to talk to her but she just completely ignored me whenever i tried to bring that up. I dont know about relationship much as i am only 24 and she is 29 with a kid which is not mine, she is been married 3 times before me but they never word out because they used to beat her up and i am nothing like that and shes knows very well how much i love her daughter and her, i know i made a mistake by being a control freak sometime but everyone deserve one more chance. i know she is not going to leave me but she is not treating me right and its killing me and affecting my health as i got cancer. I am new to this and have no one to talk to for advice so please advice what should i do i am so heart broken right now.
Darling Divaa
Darling Divaa commented
Well you can stop "controlling" her. Why do you feel you have to control her? If she won't get some help then you need to, for your own sanity. Sounds like she likes to play games..Tattoos do not mean "forever love." This doesn't sound like a healthy marriage. My best to both of you...
Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Well, I guess that depends on what you mean by her feelings for you have 'changed' .. Does that mean changed as in she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life married to you .. Or does it mean she is even stronger and steadfast in her love for you and commited to your family life together.

If the is that she is withdrawing ... Then exactly why would you want to bring a child into an already dysfunctional relationship. THAT is not fair to that child.  If that is the case .. And in all fairness to the child, think hard about exactly what you BOTH have to offer a child...instead of what a child has to offer you.

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

There are red flags all over this situation, which is not going to be cured by coming here. You two need to be in marriage counseling.

You need to know that no one needs to be controlled and the more you do it, the more problems you're going to have in ANY relationship. You don't control someone "for their own good". You're not their parent. They have the right to speak, think, do and be for themselves. If you turn this around, and she controlled you the way that you are controlling her, how would you like it?

She's been married three times to men that beat her, and she's with you, a 24 year old that tries to control her. You complain that she doesn't treat you right - that you have cancer. I get that you're sick and I'm sorry you're going through this, but you don't own her.

If you want her to "treat you right", then you need to treat her right.

Do NOT bring a child into this mess without counseling to get this marriage on track. That's the last thing you need.

Lastly, you mention that she has a daughter by another husband; you've made it a point to mention that twice. You need to remember that you are her step-father and you need to step up to the plate while she is living with her and be a father figure to this daughter. She is part of your family now. She needs to know that - she doesn't need to be treated like an outsider because you're not her real dad. I wish you good luck in getting this situation turned around.

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