My Girlfriend Told Me She Doesn't Love Me But We Sleep Together, Have Sex, Shower And Bathe Together And She Still Lives With Me. Why?


8 Answers

Oscar De La Huerte Profile
It sounds to me like your girlfriend has made it perfectly clear what she wants from the relationship - so maybe it's time you gave some thought to what you are looking for too. If it's companionship and a good time, you could be on to a good thing, but if you're looking for a meaningful long-term relationship, it sounds like you're in for a disappointment.

Why doesn't my girlfriend love me?

The very idea that you're having to ask this question suggests that alarm bells should be ringing. If a woman has made it clear that she doesn't love you, it's unlikely you'll be able to change her mind by clinging on to the relationship.

It may seem confusing that she engages in very personal activity with you (having sex and bathing together are about as personal as it gets), but you need to bear in mind that people have different ideas of what a relationship is all about.

Rather than spending too much time analysing why your girlfriend doesn't love you in the same way that you love her, you should be focusing on what you want from a relationship and how you're going to set about achieving it.

Breaking up and moving on

Whilst I can't really give any specific advice on your situation without knowing the full details of your relationship, I am a firm believer in the idea that everyone should strive to be happy in life and love. There's no point trying to make your relationship something it's not.

You may be having great sex and enjoying the joint showers (and if that's what you're after then don't rock the boat) but if you want more, it's time you stood up and admitted it.

Breaking up and moving on is by no means an easy move, and some people spend years in unhappy relationships because they struggle to sever themselves from the idea that things might change. My view is that, if you've given it your best and it still isn't working, it's just not meant to be.

If you're looking for some inspiration, you needn't look any further than the most famous love story in the world: Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. At the beginning of the play, young Romeo finds himself besotted with a young girl called Rosaline.
A few scenes down the line and Rosaline has become a nun, Romeo meets a girl called Juliet at a party, and the two of them fall head over heels.

Maybe it's time you ditched the nun and found your Juilet, so to speak (hopefully, without the double-suicide part!)
Jack Stone Profile
Jack Stone answered
Like it or not, as a man it is your job to romance a woman. It is possible that she is taking advantage of you (but doesn't sound like that to me). It is possible that she is a rare woman who likes sex but just doesn't care about love. But it sounds far more likely that she is hanging around and being close to you because she likes you enough TO WANT TO BE CONVINCED.

In other words, it is your job as the man to MAKE HER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. It sounds to me like you are 80 to 90% there, but you have to turn on the romance, turn on the charm, turn on the sparks. This mainly has to do with doing a better job of EXPRESSING what you are already feeling, but are not verbalizing or demonstrating clearly and openly.

It also involves being fun and creative and doing things that are 'romantic' in the sense of being dramatic and creative. That is, SAME STUFF you are already feeling... Just BRING IT TO LIFE more and fill it with energy. But as a man YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN, GUY. You don't wait for her to tell you that she loves you.

If you can understand this in the right way, YOU "TELL" HER THAT SHE LOVES YOU. You have to be the one to create romance and make her fall in love with you.

ALSO ONE OTHER THING: Often a woman is emotionally incapable of admitting (even to herself) that she loves you UNTIL SHE IS ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that you want her. Many women are afraid of loving you, and then finding out you don't love them. Often, you have to go first, and tell her (non-verbally and verbally) "I CHOOSE YOU." Only then will she be capable of coming out of hiding emotionally and RISKING the act of loving you openly. By the way, I wrote a whole book on this.
Will Martin Profile
Will Martin answered
There could be a lot of reasons - she may not be ready for a long-term commitment, or she may feel that you don't mind the situation too much. Or she may be someone who is bad at expressing emotions. These are possible reasons, but there could be many others - some you may find acceptable, some not.

Perhaps a more pressing question is: How do you feel about this? If you care for your girlfriend and want a more permanent relationship, then you have a right to ask her to be a bit more precise about her feelings. This situation may not suit you - if it doesn't, you don't have to just accept it.

It would probably be helpful if you could get a clearer idea of what she wants, how she sees the future etc - and of course, you also need to make it clear what YOU want. Good luck.
Evan Stanley Profile
Evan Stanley answered
There are many things that this could be. Maybe she does love you. Maybe she is a sex addict. Maybe she's using you. Maybe she has nowhere else to go. Or maybe she doesn't love you because she doesn't know the meaning of true love. She may be afraid to be single. Maybe even afraid of a long-term relationship. Those are many of the possible reasons.
abigail mathews Profile
abigail mathews answered
She is doing this to you because you are allowing it. It sounds like it is time to move on. What would happen if you found someone else, would she say you cheated on her? If need be, give her some money to help her out the door. Why stay in a relationship where there is verbal abuse (if someone says they don't love you anymore)?
Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

I'm thinking because she likes the arrangement, even if it lacks an element of romantic love.  She's being honest about her feelings, and if you are tolerating it, I can only assume you don't mind it.  If that's not good enough for you, then break it off with her .. And move on.  If you however, don't mind the 'arrangement' then just be satisfied with what you got.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Move on..if she doesn't love you then there is no compassion while having sex or sleeping with's just not right.

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