Apparently I Cheated On My Girlfriend While I Was Extremely Drunk. I Can't Remember A Thing, And I Love My Girlfriend More Than Anything. What Should I Do?


21 Answers

Jacquelyn Mathis Profile
First and foremost, DO NOT EVER DRINK AGAIN!!!!! I am sorry this has happened to you. Realistically, I think you need to be the one to tell her. If this is someone who is known in your family circle, she might tell someone in your family, and they might tell your girl. That would be the absolute worst way for her to find out about this. When you tell her, make sure that you are alone with her, where there will be no interruptions, tell her that what you have to tell her is very serious, that you didn't even want this to happen, and can't remember it.

You are going to have to do some pretty serious making up to her, if she will let you. But you can't keep beating yourself up over this either. Trust is a very hard thing to earn, and it takes a very long time to gain it. She will want to know the goings on of your day by day activities, and at times it might drive you nuts, but you have to remember at that point, that you lost her trust and that you are trying to earn it back. I really wish you the best of luck in this matter, and quit hurting yourself, that won't get you anywhere, o.k.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Try proving and hard work on executing your proof. It's that easy and also it's that hard. For probably 2 -3 months, you're going to have to prove it was a mistake, that you have no relationship whatsoever with the person you cheated with.

To do your proving: come home early every night, everyday; show some extra sweetness toward her all the time, show your real love for her all the time. Care for her making her sure that she is still your best all the time. Don't just say it - put it to work all the time. Tell her a lot of good things all the time.

In short, court her as if you want her to go out with you, like in the beginning, until everything is forgotten. You forgot the "whoever she is -what's her name, do you remember?". And you know, this really works. This happened to me.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You definitely have to tell her man! I cheated when I was very drunk too, but she found out before I could tell her. The main reason she can't trust me now is because she didn't find out from me and thinks that I could do it again and she would never know. Lying or hiding it is the absolute worst thing to do. It was the biggest mistake of my life but we are still together because we love each other and I would never do it again, but it takes time for them to regain your trust and it will always be there in the back of their mind but you just have to accept that you made a mistake. You will have to make it up to them obviously and there is some good advice from 'Sellshouse'.
ghazal gi Profile
ghazal gi answered
Well this is a world and we are human beings not a saint. Mistake happen by human beings. If you are guilty then it's very good. As you said you were drunk, so don't feel that much bad. Yes you have done wrong thing but if you are feeling sorry for that then it's very good. There are many people in this world who cheat with open eyes and not even drunk, and don't feel any shame and sorry for their act.

If you have not yet said anything to your girlfriend about your cheat then, tell her. If she loves you then she will understand that it was just a mistake. You have to tell her each and every thing very clearly, about the entire situation and ensure her that this mistake will not happen again and you will be loyal with her always. If you don't tell her then, it will be too late, when someone else informs her about your cheat.

But you must remember that when a mistake happen one time then it is a mistake but, when it happen again and again then it will become blunder.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I'm dealing with this exact situation except I looked at his phone (never peaked @ his texts before this moment) and I'm the girl in this situation. I'm like you, and hopefully your girlfriend, that I just want to be happy again. I hate myself for picking up his phone but you can't keep "beating a dead horse". What's done is done. Hopefully your girlfriend feels like I do in that I want to keep trying and stay together.

Things won't go back to normal overnight. You've GOT to give her as much time as she needs. Now is the time to go over and beyond the norm and do nice things for her. Tell her every morning how much you care about her, want her in your life, and will do what it takes to make her see she's the only one for you.

What do I do? How do I trust him again?
jenni Profile
jenni answered
You have to tell her! Take it from someone who as been there. If she loves you, she will forgive you. Tell her what happened and promise not to drink that much ever again. I'm not saying you have to quit completely. She won't believe you if you say you will. You have to do little things to make her BELIEVE you are sorry, not just saying the words. It will take a while but if she loves you, she will forgive you. Don't expect it to be over night.
Ferenc Szentpéteri Profile
Yeah, if she might know it from somebody, the best way is to tell her. But there are things that are better kept as secrets forever. To be honest, there was a girl in my life who had should have kept mum and left me in the bliss of "not knowing anything" Now I can't trust her anymore.
Jasmine Talamantes Profile
You cheated on your girlfriend. Plain as that. Every act of stupidity will not be ignored. You can't protect yourself from your incredibly idiotic choice, tell her and it will be up to her if you two continue to date. If you decide to hide it from her, your guilt will fester inside of you and there will be no time spent on anything besides your ponderings on wether she suspects you or not. Once she finds out, her reaction will depend on how long you refused to tell her..
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Been drunk is not an excuse!
Walk away from her and tell her why your leaving. She deserves better
Jaci Profile
Jaci answered
I'll tell you where I stand on this and you can take what you want from it.  Having just gone thru this with some1 I never
thought would have cheated on me without telling me first (our
agreement to be open), I have really suffered with this.  He is back in
my life and we talk about it.  So let her/your partner talk about how
much you hurt her, made her angry, etc. In "limited sessions" (time
restraints so you don't get bashed for hours.)  Don't over-do it and
always only say if you're sincere:  tell her you are truly sorry for
hurting her.  Be honest about your shame about what you have done. Now's the time IF she means a lot to you to start letting
her know regularly in various creative ways.What I've come down to:  My
guy has got to walk the walk and I don't want to hear the talk right
now.  I don't completely trust him nor do I think I should.  Me trusting
him again will have to be earned.  And the fact is, and I think this is
true of most ppl, you can never go completely back to where you were
before.  It's like you've "broken" that initial "innocent trust" &
that can't be repaired.I think it's like you are starting over in many
ways.  Try very hard to start "practicing" true, brutal honesty in your
Rhett Miller Profile
Rhett Miller answered
Well this happened to me too. The worst part is, she was there with me in the same room. Some girl came onto me and I guess I just wasnt thinking or otherwise I wouldve pushed that girl off. And then, in the morning I didnt even remember so she had to tell me herself. I cried through the whole hang over. It was terrible, I'm so in love with her I just can't believe that I would do that kind of thing. I expressed that for a month straight, that I would never do it again, that I'm never drinking again, and that ive never regretted anything more in my entire life. Well now were taking a break and I pray every night, I guess if we stay together or not is up to her. Basically my advice is to NEVER get angry at her while your going through all this, NEVER try to make her feel guilty for anything, NEVER straight up tell her to forgive you, and NEVER bring up anything that could spark an argument with her. In the end its going to be her choice what happens, all you can do is be good to her and show her how remorseful you are. Other than that, this kinda stuff happens to a lot of guys, and if she ends up leaving you, your not the first. I know you feel like a victim of circumstance, but don't try to use the whole "I was drunk it wasnt me" excuse. That wont work. But do try to tell her you never wouldve done it if you were sober. Drunken cheating is terrible, but its better than sober cheating.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I've done the same twice. Its ruined everything between us, we talk but theres no trust...she talks to other guys and I think she likes someone else now, its like torture seeing it but not being able to do anything to stop it. It seems when you're drunk you lose a lot of your self controll and sense that would stop you from doing anything with any other girl.
My advice would be just not to drink so you do cheat (its not good for you anyway so you'd be doing yourslef a favour) and don't yourself in a situation where you can get accused of cheating. I've spent the last 4 months groveling and appologiseing...I feel awfull because I really hurt her and I'm completley in love with her, I didn't understand how much I had hurt her and why she hated me talking to other girls untill now :/! I feel like she must have, I hate her talking to other guys. I was stupid and ignorant and just a complete tw**t to be honest, its true that you don't realise what you've got till you've lost it, I really miss her! Make sure you tell her yourself, its shows you care about it and it show you have the backbone to admit you're wrong and appologise. She said to me she Loves me but she dosen't trust me so at the moment she can't be with me, I'm hopeing and praying that it'l all be okay again and in like 10 years I can look back on this and think how stupid it all was!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well first of all, you need to tell her the truth, if she understands that it was a mistake and you were extremely drunk, then you'll be able to put all this behind you, but it'll take a long long time to build back up the trust you now don't have! I think if you want her to see it was a mistake, then your going to have to do some real sucking up mate! But don't worry, she'll see how much you love her when you tell her how SORRY you are!! Be sure to say that though. Another thing is, what everyone else is saying, you have to take an STD test before you do anything! You never know what might happen. This happened to me a few years ago, my boyfriend cheated on me after a drunken night out and I never forgave him. But you know, she might see the light and forgive you...everyones different!
But no, don't hide it from her, that'll only make things worse, and plus, if she does find out from someone else, then she'll never forgive you for lying to her!! She needs to hear it from you,,,which will make the situation better,, as you've been competely honest!

Hope this helpsss... X
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well,don't tell her you did! You will only make yourself feel better. And really if you drink that much maybe you should consider drying out.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Things can only work between the two of you if SHE is willing to forgive you and work things out with you
Katie Garland Profile
Katie Garland answered
Well first of all you shouldn't have been drinking without her because she would have made sure you weren't cheating on her.
olivia jenks. Profile
olivia jenks. answered
It's your own fault, you cheated on her. I don't think you can expect her to forgive you just like that, unless she's in love with you or something... Oh, it was 11 months ago. I wish you guys the best.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Drinking to the point that you don't remember your actions is a sign of a serious problem.  Apologize to her, admit you have a problem and then get some type of help.  Hopefully she loves you enough to be supportive and will understand.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I'm in the same boat...everyone who says drinking is bad for you...your stories are all boring
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You really should tell her and I'm going to guess that you probably didn't use protection so now you may have a baby on the way and you may have gotten an STD.

I wouldn't sleep with your girlfriend until you get tested because she will really hate you if you end up giving her an STD and cheated on her. Beware the wrath of women...

Here's a place where you can find a free clinic for STD testing I suggest you go and do it.

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