I Can't Get Over My Girlfriend's Past. I Love Her So Much And Can't Break Up With Her, But Can't Stop Thinking Either, What Should I Do?

19 Answers

Saddaf K Profile
Saddaf K answered
I think you should accept her for what she is. What is past is past and is not going to do you any good or any bad. As it is said, "let bygones be bygones". However, if you think it is effecting your relationship at present you should talk to her about her. Let her know what is bothering you. Maybe if you let it out and talk it out with her, you will feel better about it.

Also, if you cannot accept her for what she is, I personally believe you were wrong in getting together with her. If she has given up on whatever it was in her past, that bothers you, then I think you should be more accommodating with it. However, if you feel she may revert to her previous behavior, then it is best to talk it out with her and if you are still unsatisfied then better let her go.

If you feel she will not revert to her previous behavior, and you still feel uncomfortable then there is no option but to let her go. It will hurt her and it may hurt you too but if you are not satisfied now, if you can not come to terms with it now, you will never be able to come to terms with it. And I personally believe it is not use trying to make something work out when you very well know it will not, because you are not ready to accept it.

I hope you can work out your problems. All the best.
lavanya Profile
lavanya answered
Nice to know that you r a sensitive person. Its obvious to react in this way when you come to know dt your gf had sex with sum1 else. Love teaches you to forgive. I you cannot forgive her you cannot go with her this way or be normal to her. This will ruin your relation.

Did this happened before you came into her life or when you r already into her life? One thing you have to understand is emotions and desires have no reasons. Some people who r in love completely dedicate themselves to their loved ones and stay loyal to them whereas some cannot. In the latter case it doesnt mean that they r not sincerely in love. Do you think men and women who have extra marital affairs do not love their partners? Do you think every person considers love to be an essential factor to have sex? Even the environments and peak moments contribute to make you commit mistake

but yes, if this girl had sex with the other person even while being in relation with you you have to seriously think about it. If thats the case, listen to her explanation and still if you think she deserves you and she can b committed, dedicated and loyal to you, try to forgive her. Love n time will heal everything, good luck
Sukii Profile
Sukii answered
If you think about it, you're girlfriend was being honest with you in the first place..If she chose not to tell you about her past then one day when you find out you're going to be mad anyways..She told you about her past because she thought that you needed to know because you guys are dating now..It's very disturbing, I know..But if you do love her you'll understand her situation..She's just being honest with you, she didn't mean to make you disgusted..Think about it..
roniece wright Profile
roniece wright answered
If you truly love her then it should come a time [soon] that you will be able to look over her past.... But one thing you really should do is tell her how you feel and see her respond and take it from there
noise Profile
noise answered
Try talking about the same with her; keep an open mind. Give it some time; don't be hasty.

If you cannot take it anymore, just break up and try to become friends. It is never actually the end of the world. It's always a fresh, new start even if you can't see it.

Tiff anderson Profile
Tiff anderson answered
So if you like the girl you will get over it. It was her passed she can't take it back. But be happy that she told you the truth. She could have lied to you. She most really like you. Don't make her feel bad and regret it. No one should regret anything. I hope you the best.
a b Profile
a b answered
This is a problem for many people so do not feel like you are on your own in this one. If you have gotten to the point where you talked to your gf about it and it doesn't solve a thing and just makes her upset. I would suggest  talking to a real professional. I have a friend who has been going through this same problem changing gfs but it wouldn't matter the problem remained there, so he has decided to see a professional and tells me that the sessions do help it just takes time...good luck and I wish you all well.
noise Profile
noise answered
Try talking about it with her. Keep an open mind. Give it some time, do not be too hasty. If you are not able to take the relationship anywhere, it is better to break up the romantic relationship and stay as good friends. It is never the end of the world. You can always start life on a fresh slate.
mariah kerry Profile
mariah kerry answered
Just talk to her and tell her how you feel about it. After you guys talk try to understand her side of the story and put it in the past. She probably feels very bad and guilty about what she did and for you to ignore her and find her disgusting can really hurt her and add more problems. If you really cannot forget the fact that she did this then I suggest you two need to break up because its not fair for you and its not fair for her.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Truly, the very, very best thing to do is break up. Stay friends, be supportive, but break up. If you have these feelings, I assure you they will NOT go away. They will eat at you, destroy your relationship, and you will never truly be happy - despite how happy she makes you, she will never be complete in your eyes - which will be a detriment to both of you.
a b Profile
a b answered
This is a problem for many people so do not feel like you are on your own in this one. If you have gotten to the point where you talked to your gf about it and it doesn't solve a thing and just makes her upset. I would suggest talking to a real professional. I have a friend who has been going through this same problem changing gfs but it wouldn't matter the problem remained there, so he has decided to see a professional and tells me that the sessions do help it just takes time...good luck and I wish you all well
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Ok look. Truth is .. You will never forget about this. But from what I see.. I can tell you really like her.. So what? Ok it was 26. Your making her feel just as bad because you wont let it go. So my advice is to focus on why you like her or love her. And trust me things will get better soon. Good luck
Bertha toyo Profile
Bertha toyo answered
You shouldnt hold her past against her!! Cover it up with the love you have for her as far as she's sorry for what she did.
Billy Bellinger Profile
Billy Bellinger answered
You can get over this one day at a time by not thinking about  it. Another thing you can talk to your girl friend about how it made you feel. Then understand her side of the story. Then stop thinking about it.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Weed Did not make your girlfriend try anything, she did it out of her own free will, I am assuming she either tried mushrooms or coke, those are usually next in line true, but the alcohol is what originally opened the door. Maybe you need to open your mind a little, a little herb pure and simple, grows from the ground, and has no long term effects, has never been a cause of death, you should be happy she smoked pot instead of turning into a meth addict or heroin, alcoholism is no joke either. Its a slippery slope.
Izzy Lalime Profile
Izzy Lalime answered
You should get over it... When you realize, the past is in the past, and the past can't be changed... Let it go... If you really love her.... You can forget the past...
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
First of your a douche... You shouldn't judge someone for smoking "herb" I do it almost everyday after work and I manage a job a kid and my girlfriend and I'm happy.... Millions of people would agree with me when I say.. Weed is not a Drug!!!

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