I see many of you are experiencing what I'm feeling right now. 21 years ago I fell in love with a girl. We were so young, I was 16 and she was 15. The first second I saw her I knew I loved her. We were at sea, vacations. Then we went back to school, we live at almost 100 miles from each other. We were 100 miles apart, our story ended but we kept in touch with letters (no Facebook in 1992/93) and by phone. In 1994 we decided to get back together (here in Italy you get the driving license at 18yo) and we met a couple of times, but she felt I was too much involved (she told me I was idealizing her....how I couldn't? That happens when you're in love...). We still kept in touch, but the next year I started dating the wonderful woman that is now my wife. Our relationship didn't start that good, my wife is a very shy person, so we stopped dating and I had an intense relationship with a woman much older than I was, who changed my life and my perspective about love. After I quit the relationship with that older woman I decided to stay by myself to try to put order into my life and have fun with friends. I was 21 at the time. That year, 1998, that first girl that I fell in love in 1992 came back. We met a few times and she was willing to get back, but my story with the woman had such a negative impact on me that I wasn't ready for a new relationship. So we slowly started to talk less and less. Few months later I re-met the girl that became my wife, we dated and fell in love. I told the 1992 girl I had a story and we never ever had any further contact. But every once in a while she came to my mind, because she alway had some kind of a hook on me. My wife is now pregnant, fifteen years passed since the last phone call with that magic girl. This year we went to the sea in the very same place where I met that girl 21 years ago. I had a flashback, some kind of a backfire. After few weeks I searched for her on Facebook (I knew she has a profile, I searched for her before, discovering she is married...wath a punch in the guts I felt), and dropped her a couple of lines. She answered, I was shivering! She told me she was happy to hear from me, that she is married for 9 years now and she has 2 daughters. I realized I lost her forever and I felt a pure feeling of desperation. What could have happened if only I had a bit of courage in 1998? I didn't tell her anything about my feelings, I didn't want to scare her, but I think she got the point because I told her I often go to her town because of my job and that we could keep in touch.....she never answered to this last message and I decided not to bother her anymore. I have a wife I love, I'm going to be a father and that girl (woman) has an husband and two daughters, I can't play with these things. But I know she will be in my heart forever and that every ti e I will be in her town my heart will race.....I can't even imagine what could happen if I see her. What a bittersweet feeling. I wonder what she feels for me. As some of you stated, love will last forever, no matter what you do. This hard feeling will fade, but I know I will never forget her.
