I Think My Boyfriend Is Too Good For Me. What Should I Do?


9 Answers

Lucy Burroughs Profile
Lucy Burroughs answered
If your boyfriend didn't think you were good enough for him, he probably wouldn't be with you. What you need to do is stop worrying - if you don't, you'll risk losing him.

Imagine the situation from your boyfriend's perspective. By doubting that you're good enough for him, you're also doubting his judgement and his feelings for you.
This will have a knock-on effect; he'll start wondering why you don't think you're good enough and wondering if it's his fault. If he then starts trying harder with the relationship to prove to you that you are good enough, you'll then think he's much too good for you, and you'll become even more insecure. It's a vicious circle.

What Should I Do?

  • You'll probably worry about this less and less the longer you're together. Try not to show that you're afraid he's too good for you.
  • Work on improving your self-esteem: It sounds like this is the real problem. You need to start believing that you're good enough - and not just for him.
  • It's not for you to decide if you're good enough for him - that's his choice, and if he thinks you are, then believe him!
Karen Henchen Profile
Karen Henchen answered
You are only putting yourself down by saying things like that. It sounds to me that you are, for some reason, trying to withdraw this relationship. Is it him that you are worried about, or yourself? Are you afraid that your life might actually settle down, and you might be happy?

I feel that maybe you should see a counsellor. It sounds like you are pushing him away rather than accepting his love and enjoying it. You need to deal with your personal issues in order to ever have a successful relationship.
jim jhons Profile
jim jhons answered
It's not up to you to decide whether or not you are good enough for him. That's his decision. I am sure he has areas of weakness in which you excel. If he is with you he finds you worthy of himself.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If he is still with you, then I am sure that he finds you worthy of his love. I have been in similar relationships where we were both very different people. But those differences are what brought us closer together. I actually learned a lot about myself from being with him, and he said that he learned a lot from me, too. You never know what elements you are bringing to a relationship.

Hope this helps!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You know, I really think you are good enough for him. If felt otherwise he wouldn't be with you.  But it does sound like you're pulling away.  Is it not a question so much of not being good enough as it is not being comfortable in the relationship?  Can you take a little time to yourself to sit and list what it is you like about him - not what you THINK you SHOULD like - and what it is that feels wrong? 

He sounds like a dream, but if it's not YOUR dream, it hardly matters does it?  Maybe if you make this list you'll have a better idea of what it is that's bothering you about the relationship.  I sure don't think you will 'pull him down' or that you're not good enough. 

You sound like a very bright, responsible person.  Have you been a mother a long time?  Could it be that in your mothering role for your children, you are carrying it over a bit into your romantic relationship with this fellow and you somehow think - in the mom role - that he could do better? 

Or could it be that this free spirit, who gets along great with the children, may do so because he's not really grown up enough to parent them?  Is he more a friend to them and doesn't exhibit the maturity that you instinctively feel you and they need? 

You've obviously got a lot going on but you really need to figure all this out.  This is the 4th answer and I hope some of what we've all written here helps you with this problem.
Jamel Omar Profile
Jamel Omar answered
Enjoy it while it lasts if you honestly feel that way and in the meantime, try to imbibe all the good qualities in him, so that you could also become a better person.
If he is such a free spirit as you say, the moment he feels you really are not good enough for him, he would move on. It is absolutely his choice.
michelle Profile
michelle answered
Honestly I really don't think that would be your decision to make. I think it's his and obviously he doesn't think you're not good enough for him because you guys are still together.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
This is so romantic!!!! Give it a try honey! You never know, maybe you're more perfect for him than you think.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I think Karen was right, if he didn't think you were worthy of him, he would have ended it.
Loves you ;D

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