My Boyfriends Parents Hate Me, What Should I Do?

25 Answers

Meta Forrest Profile
Meta Forrest answered
Who are you dating, him or his mother  ?  Ignore the mother, and just enjoy your relationship.  Lots of mothers are very protective of their sons , once she knows you are serious about one another, she may accept you more readily . 
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My b/f's parents have suddenly started to show that they hate me too after being fine with me for three years. I thought they were good parents but as time goes on I realised that they actually treat him like crap. They say that I'm too horrible to him when they don't know me at all and then blame him for anything that goes wrong, even down to his dad being ill. They take everything out on him but treat his little sister like a princess. Sometimes families are different and nobody is perfect. Just ask your boyfriend to put in a good word for you or something as this may be something he needs to deal with first. If you can't talk to them and they keep ignoring you then spend some more time with your own family, or with anyone who doesnt treat you like this. It's their own fault if they lose the opportunity to really get to know you and they are disrespecting their son by doing it.
Gillian Smith Profile
Gillian Smith answered
It's a great shame that you can't be friends as it's great to have another woman or a daughter in law who you're fond of. As a mother in law who is deeply fond of her daughter in law it's difficult to know why mothers of sons are so negative.

I think the old adage about not losing a son but gaining a daughter is a good one and my mother in law did this with me too. It's not only blokes who have this problem - mothers and fathers of daughters can be this way too.

Probably it's insecurity, over-protectiveness, fear that they'll 'loose' their sons/ daughters but the way to do this is by not accepting partners.

Be as pleasant as you can be to her, despite how she might treat you and see how it goes. Ask her about herself and take an interest in her for a while. If this doesn't work you may have to accept that she doesn't want to be friends with you - that's her problem and there's nothing you can do. I hope your boyfriend has the maturity to support you. Perhaps he can have a tactful word with his mother for you both?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well if your bf has the strength to fight for his love for you then your one lucky girl but if your bf is threatened that he can no longer use the car if keeps on seeing you then your bf doesnt really have the balls to stand up for his choice.
Carissa Smith Profile
Carissa Smith answered
I know how you feel, my boyfriends mom cannot stand me, I agree that it's probably a mother thing, maybe with time she'll get past it
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Ignore her. Freak her! Who needs her? Nobody! Who cares about her! Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend, its not about her, its about him.
marina lewis Profile
marina lewis answered
My mother-in-law didn't like me ,and I have three sons and one of them has been married twice and I didn't like either of his wives. It is a mum thing but that isn't to say she won't grow to like you. I ended up being my mother-in-law's favorite daughter-in-law. Just be yourself and show her you are not out to take her place and not going to hurt her son. What makes you think she doesn't like you anyway? That might just be the way she is with everyone.
Delainey Smith Profile
Delainey Smith answered
Spend some 'girl time' with her.. Ask her to go to the spa with you or something, because you can't just ignore her! If she doesnt like you she can talk your boyfriend out of going out with you! So become friends with her, talk to her, shop with her, .! Theres a variety of things you can do!
Tara Dennison Profile
Tara Dennison answered
Its always hard for a mother when she feels threatned and as if she is coming second place to her son. Treat her with the greatest respect and be as nice as pie to her. Offer to take her out shopping or for something to eat and try to include her in some of your plans. This way you can get to show her your true self and I am sure in time she will see how lovely a person you are.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Depending on the love you have towards each other
& how serious you are then that can determine if you should stay with him or not
trust I am in this situation and it is HELL
at least you can go to his house
I'm not even allowed at his house
not even for his birthday.
Sometimes parents are just plain cruel
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My boyfriends mother is very protective, I've been dating him for 11months and she has never really came around to like me. I'm the first black girl he's ever brought home, She'll be so nice to my face but behind my back to my boyfriend she says mean things about. I love my boyfriend and want to stay with him but this is hard to factor in, I don't want her to think she has won by, letting what she says break us up.
No name Profile
No name answered
I think if you can drive your friend to be better in his life they will like you,yoshould have a positive effect on his life push him up always.I think most of our parents don't like our friends when they feel that our friend make us worse or don't help us or think about their selves only
they should feel your effect, talk is not recommended it will make them harder I think
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I have just had to end a relationship with a man I have loved for 3 years because his parents absolutely hated me. And to this day, I still am not sure why. He was very close to his parents and they were very protective of him. Before we got together he ended a three and a half year relationship with his ex. His parents insisted on keeping in touch with her. Inviting her out for meals and round their house for coffee and then bringing it up in conversations with me. They argued with him about why they couldnt invite her to the same family occasions as I had been invited to. His mother hated him showing me public affection without giving her a ' cuddle ' too. On some visits, they didnt even barely speak to me. The day they met my mother, his mother couldnt even look her in the eye. The hatred they had for me and my family was severe. I often wonder if it is because I'm mixed race or maybe they just didnt want him to leave his ex but it caused a lot of arguments and got to the point where we didnt even want to be in the same room as his parents. This hurts me to this day. They won and they always knew they would.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Communicate sincerely and try to find out what their issues are.  let them know how it makes you feel when they treat you certain ways (both good and bad).  if their concerns are about things you can not change, well, don't try - it will only drive you crazy.  if you can make a change for the better (and still be yourself) then go for it.  good luck.
Bailey Zuniga Profile
Bailey Zuniga answered
Ignore her and ask your bofriend y my ex boyfriend hates me because he only cared about me and not them and she hates my look to she thinks I'm a sIut but I really don't care because I loved him and he loved me and I don't understand y she can't make him happy because hes happy with me and they wanted him to dump me.
Angelic Christy Labor Profile

I suffered the same too, the whole family of my boyfriend don't like me coz of my status in life. I feel like killing them, once i become rich am gonna buy them and burn!! How I wish this is not a sin.. :'(

Alexis Scuderi Profile
Alexis Scuderi , Try to impress the parents., answered

Try to impress the parents.  If that does n't work the relationship wasn't ment to be. Even if you love this guy the parents might make you miserable.  Trust me it is not worth it.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I have a friend whose bf lives with her and her 2 kids and his parents don't want to have anything to do with her.  He is a bit of a ma ma's boy and his father doesn't like that he's taking care of 2 kids that don't belong to him.  He is well acquainted with her family but cannot bring her home to his parents because they don't want her in their house.  They just want him to get rid of her and leave already.  I think it is a messed up situation to be in and now she is pregnant with his kid and he wont tell his parents because he's ashamed of what they will say.  He already has a child from a previous relationship whom they take care of and love to death and they may not accept her baby with him because of her.  I think she honestly eff-ed herself in this one.  And she's having a 3rd kid on the way with no ring placed on the finger yet.  It really is sad.
Jackie Soto Profile
Jackie Soto answered
Okay soo I been going out with my boyfriend for 9 months His parents hatee me so much ! That wen were talking on the phone his mom goes I'n his room and yells at him for talking to me she will say your talking to that hoe N shxt I just ignore it and Monday night he broke up with me because his parents put so much shxt I'n his head that to not trust me or anything an then Tuesday night he apologized to me an told me that his parents pressured him to do it! Also this morning he picked me up to go to school an his mom told him you better not pick her up an so we got to school an
All you see is her I'n the car seeing if I was I'n there she got off an started yelling at me an my boyfriend for no reason I just hate how we don't get along an till this day am still going out with him an nothing or nobody is going to stop me from going out with him I really don't care if his parents like me or not because that's his choice not there's so it's going to be hard but you will get over it and just ignore the parents there just haters they don't want nobody else to
Touch there babys but idc what they say imma still be with him even though they don't want him to.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If you haven't been dating for very long then you should just break it off because this is never going to change or get better. As time goes on it will probably get worse. If he is close to his parents then they will win in the end. The longer you drag a doomed relationship out the more difficult the break up will be for both parties. Trust me I speak from experience and I never want to go through it again.
layla suleiman Profile
layla suleiman answered
Hi guys,

Thanks for all the advice but it was my ethnic background after all as I suspected. I decided to talk to them. Took round a bottle of wine. It started off badly. I said I was there to talk about how I feel around them and the awkwardness, his mother walked out of the house and his dad hurled racist abuse at me. It was over even before it began.
moodie madd Profile
moodie madd answered
Talk to them some how. I mean they have to talk to you eventually. Though, I must say, it sounds like they see something in you that could be problematic and you need to find out what that is!

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