Yo Kass answered
There's really no general guide on how to handle the situation because mother-in-laws are wonderful and unique, and each individual mother in law comes with her own set of unique challenges.
Help! My boyfriend's mom hates me The first thing I'd do to analyse the situation is to come up with reasons why she might hate you. This may sound a little counter-intuitive, especially since the one with the problem is most likely her, but thinking tactically is something you're going to need to get used to.
My research suggests that the following are common concern's that a boyfriend's mom may have:
Your relationship with your boyfriend's mom Once you've identified the reasons why your boyfriend's mom might view you in a negative light, you can begin coming up with all kinds of ways to repair your relationship with her. What you will have to do really depends on what she's got against you.
Here are two examples that may highlight what kind of ninja tactics you will need to employ:
How to deal with your boyfriend's momAs you can see from the cases above, dealing with your boyfriend's mother can be a lot like tactical warfare. The most important thing to avoid is direct confrontation. Trying to make your boyfriend choose between you and his mother will never end well. Often you will find that biting your tongue putting on a smile is the best solution. If you really feel like you can't hack it, sit down and speak to your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel, explain to him that you want him to be involved with his family, but that you only want to have to put up with his mom in extreme circumstances. This will mean that you'll have to grin and bear Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, but will be able to enjoy the rest of the year with your boyfriend problem free!
Help! My boyfriend's mom hates me The first thing I'd do to analyse the situation is to come up with reasons why she might hate you. This may sound a little counter-intuitive, especially since the one with the problem is most likely her, but thinking tactically is something you're going to need to get used to.
My research suggests that the following are common concern's that a boyfriend's mom may have:
- She may think you're not good enough
- She might be worried that you will break her son's heart
- She could see you as a bad influence on her son
- She may feel like you are trying to replace her role as a mother
Your relationship with your boyfriend's mom Once you've identified the reasons why your boyfriend's mom might view you in a negative light, you can begin coming up with all kinds of ways to repair your relationship with her. What you will have to do really depends on what she's got against you.
Here are two examples that may highlight what kind of ninja tactics you will need to employ:
- Scenario: If she doesn't think you are good enough to be with her son because of the way you dress. Solution: You may want to consider dressing in a way that she approves of around her. ,
- Scenario:
If she feels like you're trying to take over her role as a mother. Solution: Show that you revere her as a mother figure. You could do this by telling her you want to cook a meal for your boyfriend and would like some advice about what he likes to eat. After the meal, make sure your boyfriend thanks his mom for suggesting the meal to you. This will show that you gave her credit for something you could have easily claimed as your own.
How to deal with your boyfriend's momAs you can see from the cases above, dealing with your boyfriend's mother can be a lot like tactical warfare. The most important thing to avoid is direct confrontation. Trying to make your boyfriend choose between you and his mother will never end well. Often you will find that biting your tongue putting on a smile is the best solution. If you really feel like you can't hack it, sit down and speak to your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel, explain to him that you want him to be involved with his family, but that you only want to have to put up with his mom in extreme circumstances. This will mean that you'll have to grin and bear Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, but will be able to enjoy the rest of the year with your boyfriend problem free!
