How Do I Get My Polish Boyfriends Mother To Like Me?

9 Answers

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Since you and you boyfriend have just been dating for a month, his mom might not know you and thus tend to be a little bit bias. I think maybe you should visit her more often, which may make her know you more. When people get along with each other, appearance, race, social status and etc will not matter any more.
Jo W. Profile
Jo W. answered
hi boricua456! I'm sorry to hear of your challenge. I have lived this! My husband and I dated for 5 years before we got married, and during that time I did a lot for his mom -- cleaned the house, cooked meals, picked up the mail, all kinds of things for her (and it only got worse after I had my daughter!) None of it seemed to matter; I did not fit her needs. The best thing I did for all of us was to love her son, take care of him, support him and make him happy. (We are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary next month!) Unfortunately, there are times when there is no way to make someone like you. :-( I hate to tell you this, and using my 30 years' personal experience as a guide, this situation will never change permanently. It may be OK at certain times, but it will always go back to what it really is. Prove me wrong, please!. . .but in the meantime, love your boyfriend and yourself, enjoy your time together and have lots of fun, but don't try to change yourself to please his mom!!! The best of luck to you!!
cooper shannon Profile
cooper shannon answered
The same way you get any other mother to like, or at least respect you.  Love her son, make efforts to make him happy and healthy.  She may be more traditional than some mothers, as was my Italian grandmother.  My noni believed you should prepare three hot meals a day, have all the housework done completely, always.  She believed woman should stay at home and raise your own kids.

The important thing is that you and your man are happy together, in the situation you guys created, whatever that may be.  Do however show respect for your mother in law.  Never ever make your husband choose between you and his mother.  At least be on decent terms with her for the benefit of all involved, especially for the children, they deserve to know there family.  My noni was the matrioch(sp.?) of our family, all family events including christmas were hosted at her house.  Trust me when I say you want as little faimly drama(the worst kind) as possible.  Don't compromise your core beliefs for anyone, but the old saying goes when you marry, you marry the whole family.  You could consider compromising things that aren't core beliefs Ex. Your belief in god.  Never ever pretend to be someone your not, the truth always finds it's way out.  There is always the possibility she will never like you no matter what.  I hated my mother-in-law for that, until I had a son, he's only three and I can't imagine a girl in the world that will be good enough to take him away from me.  Mothers have special relationships with there sons, I wouldn't say I love him more than my daughter, but it is definatlly different.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I'm filipina and am in the same exact boat...  Just as JoJoBlu has suggested, the most important thing is to love her son and to support him. We can't help that we fell in love with polish guys with mothers who are not receptive towards interracial dating! Be respectful towards his mother and always be open towards her no matter what she might say about you. Remember that she is still his mother! No matter how mean she can be, you must understand that one day she may be your mother-in-law! As long as your relationship between you and your significant other is fine, then don't give up. It's hard. Believe me, I know. But in the end, if you two truly do love each other, it's going to end up being you and him. He isn't going to marry his mother or have children with her. So, keep him happy. Love him. Be everything you can possibly be to him and let time take its course. In the end, if he has no reason to leave you besides the fact that his mother doesn't like you, if you make him happy and he can imagine a future with you, then he'll hopefully make the right decision and choose you! Focus on your man! You have him at the moment. Don't let anything get in your way of making him happiest man alive :-)
Suhail Ajmal Profile
Suhail Ajmal answered
You should meet your boyfriend's mother every often and then. She will like you if you have good manners, good ways to talk, good presentation skills, good cooking skills etc.

Try to know the things which your boyfriend's mother likes the most and prepare yourself to accomplish those things. Be honest with her and never tell any lie to her.

Give her a gift, cook for her, pray for her and give charity on her name. She will definitely start liking you.
hareem jilani Profile
hareem jilani answered
Cook things for her and make her eat them with love...when you go at his place do some work for her and help her in the kitchen...and its not that you have to butter her even if you tell your boyfriend to respect his mom, this indirect attitude is seen by God and ull definitely get to it.
Nat Profile
Nat answered
I live in a polish family & I got to admit, polish ppl can b such racist bastards. Best thing 2 do I reckon is say you love (or at least pretend 2 love) her polish cooking & food and maybe try to learn some polish. Thats how my sisters boyfriend won her over lol. Seeming you've been going out for a month, I'm sure she'll get time to get used to it. Good luck:)
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I am in the same boat, I just married a Polish man and everything was fine with his mother until we got married.  Now I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough and I'm afraid this drama will continue indefinitely... Help!

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