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Can You Be Friends With Someone You Are In Love With?

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8 Answers

Linda Fitzgerald Profile
Friendship is one of the things needed in a relationship, trust and respect are equally important and all are priorities. Before you declare your love, let your friendship develop to the point where you feel that the other person and yourself have gained trust in each other. I once believed I had reached that stage and lost the relationship by writing a poem (not sappy) and not even suggesting love, just that we might have each other as comfort after both of us had escaped from bad relationships. It scared him so badly that he did something I call (the sweet kiss off) without telling me to my face. I did not want to trap him, in any way. I was shy of getting involved, too. Work on your friendship and don't reveal your feelings. To some people it's frightening and they'll run from what they think of as a commitment they aren't ready for.
thanked the writer.
Deborah Wacker
Deborah Wacker commented
My god, this exact thing has just happened to me about the last 9 weeks ago. To this day my heart is ripping apart. How did you deal with the loss?
Linda Fitzgerald
Linda Fitzgerald commented
I couldn't believe it! I made no overt move to rope this guy. I'm still hurt by the way he shucked me. This happened in 1994. I dream of him and my kids hate him to this very day. I'm so sorry it happened to you. There's no quick fix. You're the 1st. Person that found what I had to say worth anything and I thank you for that. In time you may find someone else. Another man found me and I lost him because I didn't want to accept taxi fare.There's more to this story.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
This is what happened to me too. We still talk to each other but there is a serious awkwardness there that wasn't there before. I told him that I was attracted to him and would like to see how things would work out. Now, whenever we talk I can tell that he feels awkward. I wish I didn't day anything because even if the friendship survives it won't ever be the same. Give it time and let him approach you. But if there are discussions or signs that are completely obvious then you could maybe flirt with the idea. Just don't start off too strong. You'll scare him away.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Although Tiger made a few good points, and I rated her reply a 5 star, I differ in my reply. I believe the only way to have true love is to be a friend with that person. Reciprocation of that love may or may not happen, but allow nature to take its course, make subtle gestures of your feelings, and wait to see the others reactions.

NOW, if we are all way off base here, and you are asking because you two have broken up, and he/she wants to "remain friends", then thats a whole new ball of wax. I believe yes, but it will take time for the wounds to heal, for the friendship to continue.

I'm here if you'd like to talk. I'll say a prayer for you. Love, Happy2bgina
thanked the writer.
Linda Fitzgerald
Linda Fitzgerald commented
How do you differ? Maybe I didn't make it clear the friendship has to happen before love can have a solid foundation. I respect your opinion. You're right. Sorry if I was not clear. How can you love,trust or respect someone you are not friends with? I don't believe it can be done. You get 5 points too. A wise woman and well worth listening to.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
Thank you Tiger for your kind words. Where I differ in opinion is that I don't believe she should necessarily hide her feelings. I understand and agree that some ppl do get frightened easily, but what if this person she's referencing has the same feelings as her, and he's afraid to show them??? See what I mean? So, that being said, my best advice it to tread softly, be subtle, but do not hide your true feelings, or you could be robbing yourselves of a potential wonderful relationship.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Hey you love him means you care 4 him and have respect for him. Friendship forms the base o love . Maybe that person hasn't felt the intensity of your love. Go ahead be friends , act cool(I mean be normal) to do away with the akwardness. At the end your destiny has best instore 4 you. Good luck with it:)
as some great 1 said-
for every problem under the sun
there is solution or there is none
if there is a solution go and find
if there is none never mind!
Lisa White Profile
Lisa White answered
What if you think about the question you are asking..."can you be friends with someone you are in love with?" Because when I need clarity on something personal like friendship or love, I also search my own self asking "would I like to be friends with someone I am in love with?" my answer is "yes!" . Is your answer "yes" or is it "maybe"?
Monica Smith Profile
Monica Smith answered
I am not sure what you are asking specifically, but if you are not dating this guy yet, but you do feel like you are in love, then yes you can still be friends. A major part of a relationship is being your significant others best friend. Sometimes though I believe depending on how well this friend relationship is, it's not also best to pursue a relationship. I have been talking to this guy for a year now, and we are really good friends. He finally tells me he wants to be more then friends and even though I feel the same way, I just can't let our friendship evolve into something more. So it just really depends on what your real feelings are for this guy. I hope this helped you out! =)

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