I Love Someone Who Doesn't Feel The Same Way. Everyone Tells Me To Move On But That's Just Not Working, Any Suggestions ?


18 Answers

Nicole Manion Profile
Nicole Manion answered
It's really difficult to deal with your emotions when something like this happens, and it's more common than you may think. However, dwelling on the problem is certainly not going to give you any resolve, and this is why your friends are right in telling you to move on. This is easier said than done, but there are some things to consider.

Something that makes getting on with your life infinitely more difficult is the prospect of seeing him every day in work or school. Nobody wants to be confronted with seeing the person you love but can't have, and so you may consider moving to a different institution or job if this is possible. You might be able to request shift changes or class changes if it isn't.

Also, if you're old enough, you may consider joining dating sites and actively looking for people to go out with. It doesn't have to result in something too serious at first, you may just consider something casual such as a friendship until you're ready to take the next step. Alternatively, don't forget that your friends may be able to help you meet that special someone. Some brilliant places to try include birthday parties and on nights out around town, where there might be a particularly good-looking person who takes your eye. If you're mutual friends, then you'll have something to talk about.

Finally, try your hardest to remove all of the reminders about him from your room or house. Seeing things from the times you spend together will make you someone who is asking for your heart to be broken.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I'm in the exact same position. But whats worse is we both used to like each other and were going to get together but waited to long and he moved on. I didn't. I love him so much and haven't would him, well I told him I still liked him, but its more than that.... I don't know what to do either. My friends tell me to move on but I can't. If you truly love him then I say don't give up. There's hope for both of us.... :/
Mark Steel Profile
Mark Steel answered
Surely it bothers you that you're stuck there and they're not. Are you sure you're in love, or just infatuated? Or care deeply about them? What is it you love? Have you had an open, honest conversation with them about that?

The thing is ... if you're in love with someone who's not returning it ... then it must make you angry. And, of course, if you really care about them, you feel terrible for being angry --- and if you don't, then you're just being selfish, seeing them as a possession.

If you love them, you want to see them happy.

But you can't love them if you don't know how to love yourself first ... Once you accept yourself, everything else falls into place.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous commented
Hi I'm a christian woman with standards. I met this guy at work 2 years ago. I'v since been layed off from work, a year ago. I happened to run into this same guy again at walmart, back in april of 09. I have been hanging out with him, since april. Not to mention when I worked with him at the post office, He had a heavy crush on me then. Now that I have been hanging with him, he has fallen in love with me. I am not attracted to this man. Although he's good to me. What should I do?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Theres nothing more painful, I feel you it sucks. You feel loved and in a way depended on for the first time and its taken away in a second.  When someone doesn't give you love you deserve, then they ain't worth it. As much as you want them to be, its better to let go. When you have so much to give, why waste it??..... Trust yourself and be strong, in the end it'll work out.
anon ymous Profile
anon ymous answered
I feel you all...two years I've loved this girl, and two years she's been dating this dick of a guy who barely cares about her...shes one of my closest friends and she knows exactly how I feel. But anyways, I got a girlfriend a few months ago, and up until recently I haven't thought about the other girl at all...although now I'm dreaming of her every night and feeling less and less towards my girlfriend who is such an amazing person....its pure awful. Well I hope you have better luck than me, bro/sis.
Zuhair Tahan Profile
Zuhair Tahan answered
Well Iam same to I feel hurt I love a person, and he doesn't feel same way as I do. I tried my best to talk with her but is for nothing. Believe me when I told her I love you she started laughing at me I felt really sad. And each time I see her bro I feel in pain believe me it hurts a lot. You love someone , and you think he is good person, he treats everyone good but at last when you want to know more about him you get hurt same as I did 😂. I promised my self to never love again because each time I love I get hurt. I know what are you feeling bro , and believe me I am worse. The only way is to be healed is by time oh oh my god it burns a lot.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Going through the same thing. Its so hard. I have a bf who I love very much, but I can't get this other Guy off my mind. I love both of them. The other Guy doesn't feel the same though.
Nancy McAndrews Profile
Nancy McAndrews answered
I had a thing for a guy who didn't feel the same way about me. But once I was aware of that I moved on, it was embarrassing for me to even be around him. And you know now when I look back I don't know what the heck I saw in him. I found much better of a guy. I think it would really help you to get some therapy. I can't imagine holding on to love for someone who didn't love me back. Do everything you can to avoid him. You will find someone. Take your time and make a good choice.. Good luck to you..
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I have been to the same situation. It really hurts because you don't want see yourself desperate. This is the most difficult part, but after some time you will feel better. I mean just do not try to be alone for long time or stay up at night thinking about her or him. Just keep yourself busy.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well I understand exactly how you feel.. I'm in love with someone who doesnt love me at all. Well at least thats how it feels and how he acts.. Some things I do to get him off my mind is going out, hanging with friends and dating again. I ask myself why but its only going to make you stronger. I use to ask myself why.. But everything happens for a reason atleast I believe that. I'm not sure why I end up crying at the weirdest times but I kno that if he cared about my feelings I wouldnt be crying.
Lara Hanes Profile
Lara Hanes answered

I know the exact feeling, unrequited love hurts it really does, except in my situation, I never even spent one moment with him, or talked to him in person it was only ever on face book and he told me he is sorry but didn't feel the same way and that there were better guys out there. It was worse because he lived in my neighbourhood so moving on was tough because I would always see him as a reminder, obviously there goes the saying "Many fish in the sea" but no matter how many guys you meet there is only one who will ever be your true love and it sucks when they don't feel the same but it is life and you have to appreciate and be grateful that you actually met this person, that you found your true love. They say move on, time heals the pain, to be honest and I know time doesn't heal the pain, it will never fade, yeh eventually you get on with your life but when you love someone you don't forget them, you can't and you wouldn't want to, if someone impacted your life in a way no one else could that is the memory you take on, we can't blame them for not reciprocating the feelings, I mean as much as we want to deep down, you, I and all the others in this position know you can't control how you feel for someone and it is just unlucky for us they don't feel the same, believe me if life was perfect it would be different and I wish I didn't fall for the love of my life, cuz it hurts too much but I did; I wish i heard the words i feel the same I love you, your the only one i want to be with, but if it ain't like the movies it ain't, reality hurts but i always say it is better to know the truth then be comforted by a lie and everything happens for a reason, you were meant to fall hard for them and the feelings unreturned, be grateful you got to experience this feeling, go on knowing you knew some one very special, you touched your heart in a way no one else ever could replace. Some people come in our lives as a blessing and others a lesson. Not many meet the love of their life so consider yourself lucky. So what I did is divide my brain into the left and right, the left brain was the one telling me all these negative things, like you will never be with him etc, but every time that part takes over, learn to fight it, switch to the right, be positive and say, nothing in life is guaranteed so i may be with him, it really does help. Gotta stop letting your left side be fuelled with doubts and negativity, fight it win it over with the right side, thinking differently helps! It really does, have hope. If you are really meant to be it will happen one way you will meet again and it will be, you never know what is on e other side of the mountain, but don't have false hope, have hope but keep it like that not that your situation definitely will change as you don't know, it may it may not, that is the beauty of life, make the most of it, if people change, feelings may change, they may see something different in you in the future again who knows, no one does. When the left side of your brain kicks in again and goes the thought that I will never be with him ever, kills me, automatically use your right side and say I may have a chance, who knows and you will notice you will feel better; never say never. I actually made a choice, a promise to my heart it is right, sounds sad but really i learnt to be ok with it and I accepted it too, that I will never be with anyone else, I will stay single forever, if I can't have him I won't have no one, I don't believe you can love anyone the same as your first true love, I can honour the memory of him easier by not being with anyone else, you never really cared for them that much if your with someone else, i did have a dream like any other girl, meet the love of my life, get married, have kids and grow old together but when i experienced this i found my prince charming but everything else i don't want to happen if i'm not with him. Trust your instincts, the universe is guiding your life if you feel they were made for you and your mean't to be you are probably right even if isn't that way but sometimes it just works out like that, i sm happier than i have ever been staying single. Just think it could have been the other way around so put yourself in their shoes and understand life just doesn't work the way you want it sometimes. And of course we all wonder why the one we love couldn't just feel the same, but what keeps me going is the memory of him, keeps me alive and I didn't even share any moments with him, it was love at first sight and it seems like when you fall for someone cuz you fell for them they should feel it too, but obviously it isn't the case, all the best

lisa andler Profile
lisa andler answered
I'm going through the same thing meet up wit the person and mayb it will give you closure and you can move on
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I felt and still feel that way for someone. What makes it really hard for me is
1) I'm not so sure they feel for me anymore
2) Even if they did/do, I have no idea how to really find out because I have no clue
where this person or who this person is/was (was internet type thing) so that has
left me real upset but.....what you going to do? Wish I knew what to tell you but fact
is I don't. I wish you good luck and want it to work out for you though. Everyone's
here for you too.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I am in the same boat also and I really don't know what to say. Its very hard to move on, but the keeping busy thing helps, but being a distance runner for track, I often find myself running alone and just today I couldn't stop thinking about her. Its really hard..
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You should try to move on but it's going to take some time....I likded this boy for two years and I finally told him last year n it didn't effect outr friendship until some months later....he told my cousin he likes me but he doesn't show it...we just text jokes back n fourth with each other....and we currently had to be in the same class for an hour n 15 minutes...and he wanted to joke n play cards n stuff and it made me very uncomfortable cause he doesn't know how bad I'm hurting inside...but I'm managing:) :(
matt murphy Profile
matt murphy answered
The one you love and the one who loves you are never the same person. Find the one who loves you, and you will come to love her.
thanked the writer.
Mia Norton
Mia Norton commented
"The one you love and the one who loves you are never the same person."

(: You a palahniuk fan, matt3046?
That's one of my favorite quotes from him, after...."I just don't want to die without a few scars."
Mia Norton Profile
Mia Norton answered
You know, the thing with everyone, is that we are attracted to what we can't have. Just seems like second nature I guess, and this goes for men and women. Instead, why don't you just try to see what being a lil "mysterious" can get you to.
Ask yourself, why am I attracted to this person?
Is it bc of his individualism. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes.
Gradually you'll realize things will start to change with the attraction.
And after awhile, you'll have men or women falling for you(:

I, on the other hand, might be too much of an individual, and many men see that in me. Most men, can't help but to fall for me. (including women)
But, for me to fall for someone, well, I only fall for those who when I really feel the love back, not the infatuation.

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