All these replies seem gutless and sterile. I wrote this to myself to help myself deal with the seemingly impossible task of building a relationship with a girl who I haven't seen in a year but I can't get out of my mind. I hope it bears some merit:
Don't let you're ego get in the way. You know who you have dreamt about for 2 years. It tears you up every time you think about her being with that guy. He looks like a g@#$@#%%^ manchild. The situation sucks, sometimes you feel like there is no way out. Marine, this is the fight through hell you always wanted, but hell isn't fire, brimstone, and demons. It's a place where you don't know what the f#%^ you're doing. But you won't give up. That is essentially suicide for you. You allow yourself to be distracted sometimes, but who do you always end up thinking about? This isn't a fight you can turn your back on. You've tried, and deep inside you know you can't smile and walk away. You have to see this out and it's not over until you win. Winning here does not require the brute force you've been trained to use. It requires a disarming sense of humor and wit and sociability. We'll call that professionalism. Keep your head on the level and keep in contact with her. Don't start being a b@#$% and commenting on all her facebook pictures when you really don't give a f%$^ about them. You want her. Talk to her. Don't try to prove anything. The man that's worth the most is the one who has the least to prove. Talk to her because it makes your day every time she sends you a message and because you know the only way to have a shot at getting her is to keep you're image in her mind. Don't worry about sweeping her off her feet. That will come a long ways in the future. Tis a harsh world and only those with determination and a sense of humor may prevail.
I have been in a similar situation, and I understand how tough it is. You must realize you are both better off moving on from this if she is in a happy relationship, even if you are not affecting it now; you will soon. Running her happiness is not something you should do to a girl you love, and this is not a good foundation in which to start a relationship. The most attractive thing to do would be to move on with your life, but keep her as a friend. Maybe casually mention the fun and exacting things with your life, but do not stop your life to wait for her, or it lowers the likeliness she will ever be there as your girl. If she feels the same, she will eventually realize this and end things with her boyfriend to be with you. You must be careful in this situation, because fighting for this is not what you want to do. If do that you will end up with three broken hearts on your hands, one of those being yours. If it will happen, you must wait. Patience is a virtue. The best things in life come to those who wait, at least in a situation like this. Work to control your emotions and follow your heart, you'll be surprised where it may take you, possibly somewhere you never knew you wanted to go. God Bless, brother.
If you really love her then it should matter to you if she is taken because she wanted to be 'taken' by the particular guy she is with. If she is happy with him, please don't ruin it for her. Loving someone means being happy for them when they are happy.It's not love when you say you love someone and are ready to take away their love from them.
Okay, let's get down to business now.So what can you do when she is already with someone? Well, you could have a chance if their relationship isn't going smooth.You could have a chance if he is cheating on her. You could have a chance if she doesn't feel that connection with him. You could have a chance if you find out what clicks her.
First of all, before anything else, dress up nicely and take care of your hygiene.Girls like nicely dressed guys and guys who take care of their hygiene. Then if you don't know her, try to get to know her. Maybe get introduced to her through a common friend.Have little chit-chat sessions with her to know if you really want her all that much and if both of you have something in common or not.You'll soon find out lots.
I was in this situation before. The best thing to do is to just tell her how you feel, she has a boyfriend so there is a very strong chance that she doesnt feel the same way, but if you just tell her how you feel than you will feel better. I didnt tell her how I felt because: * I was afraid of what she might think * I didnt want to cause any trouble with her boyfriend * I was afraid of what other people would think
But I regret not telling her when I had the chance, I don't admit this to anyone but I really miss her , I think about her all the time and if I had a chance I would tell her everything
I would not try to break them up. It may come back to bite you in the rear end in the end. Not to be rude. Just keep your cool, be friendly and try and hang out with the girl when you can but respect her boundaries. Most relationships don't last forever. So you will have your chance later on. Especially, this way you can get to know each other and hang out, and get close. Then when and if you do go out you have more in common etc. If it is meant to be it will happen is my philosophy. Just chill and keep your cool. Good luck. That is just my suggestion.
Let her do the decision making. Its hard but try not to think about it too much and also its important to remember, if you were to get together as a proper couple who is to say a year down the line she won't fall for someone else and do the same to you. Keep your guard up!
The first part of my answer was for guys who are facing the same situation that you are in but don't know the girl.
Now about the second half of your situation, it seems like she is playing with your feelings. She probably knows that you have feelings for her and if she says she has the same feelings and even then she can't break up with her boyfriend then it should be easy for you to make out what she actually means. You should know that almost every other girl likes attention, fans, admirers etc. It probably flatters her that you are in love with her and since you are being patient and all so she doesn't see you as a threat or someone who would ruin her relationship with the guy she is already involved with.She might just be using you for her own inner satisfaction.If there actually is a huge reason for her to not break up with her boyfriend then please try to understand that there's no chance for you in the near future. She has to break up with him to be with you. If she does so, you'll know she is serious about her relationship with you. If not, don't waste your time then.
I think you should wait and hang out with her a lot unless she says otherwise and show her who you really are. Maybe she will break up with her boyfriend for you and you 2 can be together. Reply on my shoutbox to tell me what you think
This is a tricky subject and I can't guaranty that this will work but its worth a try..Ive had some success with this recently and heres what I did..First off you have to spend a decent amount of time with her..deff some alone time..YOU MUST BE CONFIDENT..always look her in the eyes and smile while you talk..try and be as charming as you can..find a cologne that is different but smells good..complement her but don't make it to obvious..when youve talked for a while try and make some kind of contact..there is a philological reason for all this stuff that I'm not going to go into ... ... It all come down to how much she likes him and how much swag you have.. ... ... ...
Good luck ... ... ... ...
PS..there is the possibility of mass confusion if she doesnt know who to choose
Don't break them up! Step back and let her find out what she WANTS! It'll never work if she still has feelings with the other guy and it'll be in the back of her mind. If you want a healthy relationship with her or a chance to be with her and to have both of you happy, wait it out and step back. If it's meant to be it'll happen.
First of all if you have managed to get close enough to this girl while she is currently in a relationship then she prolly isn't a girl you would want to be with. Breaking them up would be a terrible thing for you to for your own moral reasons. If she really does like you more than her current boyfriend then she can maturely handle it herself.
I am now loved by a guy but I have a boyfriend. I love my boyfriend but I also have strong feelings with the guy. We have several common things. I really like that type of guy. I can say that I want to go with him. But you know, I am with my boyfriend, I don't want to break his heart because I know that my boyfriend loves me so bad and I can't live without him. I don't know what to deal with this... I am having a problem too, the serious one. I just feel like I want to kiss the guy and I want to go out with him. I want to make him happy by being with him because I know that he wants to get me but he can't get me, and I want him too. I really understand you for the problem. Sometimes when I argue with my boyfriend, I dare easily to ask him to break up with me because I know that there's someone waiting for me. But when my boyfriend said yes, I can leave you if you will be happy without me... You know what I just can't leave him anymore because I won't be happy without my boyfriend. But I won't be happy without that guy too! I may be selfish but I want to have two boyfriends in the same time!! My boyfriend wants only me, I know but it seems like the guy want to be with me although my boyfriend is there. It seems like he's satisfy to be my second boyfriend... But I shouldn't have two boyfriends at the same time, it will hurt everyone, and it will ruin all of my life after. I don't want to be bad girl... What do you guys think about my story???
I have the same problem.. But I am a girl. In love with a man who is taken. I just donno what to do. I have known him for 5 years. And 3,5 maybe more he has been in love with me. But without ever letting me know, cus I had a boyfriend. Well now things changed, and I opened up my eyes, and I fell in love with my best friend, but now he is the one who is taken. He tells me that he loves me so so much, and at the same level as his girlfriend. But his girlfriend came first, and he is in love with her now. Its just killing me, and I just wish that I had seen what he was earlier, so it would have been me and him. I have all ways felt something for him, even when I had my boyfriend. I just never thought it could happen. I am crying so much all the time, because I told him about me feelings. And I feel so bad about it, I should just have shut up about it. Cus now he is unhappy and I am. He can't leave his girl, and I understand that. But I was beeing selfish and told him everything cus I wanted him so bad, and it just made our relationship so bad. Now its really hard for me to talk with him without thinking about what I said.
So I think you should just shut up about it. Try to move on with you life, and if you r ment to be, you r ment to be, and you will get her later. But don't wait for her, like me, I will try to move on now, and try to stay in touch with him, even tho its hard...
Being the girl, I am dealing with a similar situation where I am with my boyfriend and we love each other a lot, but recently when he was away for a while I spent a lot of time with his best friend and connected very well with him, and he said that if it was not for my boyfriend, he would have asked me out...
Now the thing is that I love my boyfriend in a very romantic way, but when I look at our relationship practically, it has no future, coz he is a self-professed-scientist of sorts... Is very impulsive by nature... Never had a job... And sort of lives with his best friend, who takes care of his financial needs! And we can call both of them as geeks..
On the other hand his best friend is a level headed guy who is the creative head in a big magazine and earns very well. So you see, where I'm coming from. I'm in love with this genius geek who has no means of living and will never be able to give me a future... And there is his best friend who takes care of everything for this guy, even has given him a place to stay, and now is attracted to me, but can not ask me out coz he is afraid that it will hurt his friend.. I am in a very sticky situation here... And don't know what to do??
I'm kinda in the same situation now. I have had strong feelings for one of my best (girl) friends for a while now but she's taken. I feel as if there's nothing I can do, because she's really into her boyfriend who in my opinion doesn't deserve her because he doesn't fully appreciate her. I've known that guy since I was a junior in highschool (I am now a college freshman) and he jumps from girl to girl and doesn't treat a girl the way they should be treated. I feel as if he's taking advantage of her, but she doesn't see it because she's blindly in love with him. I don't want to sound jealous of him or that I'm full of myself, but I think I would be a better guy for her. She's a really nice girl who deserves a guy that will love her the way a girl should be loved. What do you think I should do? I feel like this situation is going nowhere.
It is not always essential that you get your love. With the changes of time things change and feelings also change. Today may be you love a girl too much and after few days or months you may love some other girl. Same may happens with the girl also. Your question how to get the girl you love, but she is taken can be explained in the following term.
Your girlfriend may be taken due to any of these reasons like the new boy is better than you, he may be more competent, he may be richer or he may be more handsome and well behaved than you. First of all try to find out the reason why your girl friend is taken only then you will be able to get her back. If she is impressed any of the above-mentioned reasons, then try to overcome it. If you are able to mend your drawback, I am sure your girlfriend will be back again and you can join her and lead a happy life. I suggest you not to get desperate and try to fulfil the demands of your girlfriend and get her back.
I say don't try to brake em up cause if you did and then she or the other guy found out you broke em up on purpose then she might brake up with you and or he could brake y'all up? And if you really like this girl then you really don't want to hurt her. And I kinda know what your dealing with case the guy I liked had a girlfriend and it was a little weired for me because his girlfriend was like my best friend but anyway back to you. If you really like this girl then wite because if she likes you as much as you like her then you don't have to worry about branking em up she'll take care of that.but it's like the saying go ''whatever is ment to be will always find away'' well hope this helps and good luck
I have been here, and it feels really bad the first few weeks. I talked with the girl I liked, and I felt a lot better. She broke up with me a few months later, but I did not feel anything except for friendship with her when she finally broke up with me. Time heals and while you may think you do not want to have to wait, occupy yourself with something else. Go to friends' houses and talk to other people. It goes away no matter how bad it hurts right now.
Unfortunately hun I think if she liked you as much as she says she does the boyfriend would not be an issue he would be long gone. I don't think you should do anything to break them up but I do think you should say to her if she means what she says to bite the bullet and get rid of him especially if she is not happy. It has to be her choice you can not make it for her because she might resent you for it later.
It is not up to you to break them up. You can let your feelings be known to her and that you would like to date her, then it is up to her to decide if she wants to make a change or if she wants to continue with the other guy. It is foolish to think that you have any kind of control in a situation like this. Sometimes it is best to let the cards land as they will and try to help direct them as they fall. You would have a much better chance this way.
Look at it this way: If you were successful in breaking their relationship up to get what *you* want, who is to say that when she gets bored with you, or starts to like a new guy, that you wouldn't be next on her list of dumped boyfriends. Just let their relationship deteriorate naturally. If it is meant to be, she will break up with him on her own. Shaky relationships do not need extra help in dissolving. Also, what if she found out you did something underhanded to break them up after you two were to get together? LOL
Get famous and write a song about her and tell reporters who the song is about and then go look for her and when you find her tell her how you really feel and she is sure 2 go out with you
Every body have their own feelings n reasons to choose some one.if she choose you then it means she c something good in you. So try to maintain that thing. And then also she leaves you then leave her on situation. Just try then to prove urself. If your love is true n her brain is fine then she will come back
first of all things you should do is pray real hard because your wanting what someone already has. Causing her to be unfaithful because of your lust. But remember this if she cheats on him to be with you, then she will do the same thing to you. Find a single woman and you want lose your best buddy because you took his girl.
Since you brought de matter before a hearing,let de Arbitrator makes a competent decision...without any Bias,Jeopady,Prejudice but Equipping you....for sure am of a conclusive proof that you're a professional person..with reasonableness outlooks lyk a reasonable person ryt..inter alia with reasonable foresight so I am not in anyway against you..but against what you're tryn to think of ...Hurting de gal you claim you lyk....4 God sake everything happen at de ryt tym...jst act lyk a proffessional & be Strategic------do what evr it takes except Breaking dem up okay...hope to see you comment good luck
I'm in the same situation (I'm a 15 y.o. Boy in high school) I've known this girl for about 9 months and the moment we met, I knew I wanted to be with her. After about 1-2 weeks of knowing her, we became really good friends. She would come up behind me from nowhere and hug me and made me feel like I was her best friend. After 2 months, she had a boyfriend. She told me that she used to 'really like me' but she was seeing someone now (which was the worst thing ever to hear). They went out for like 3 months then she dumped him. I waited about 2 or 3 weeks and then I asked her out. I didn't get a straight answer, all she kept saying was 'Why you lying?' and 'Haha, nice one'. It's now 2 months later and she's now going out with one of my best friends. He's a really cool guy and he loves her. A few of my friends have told me that I need to tell her how I feel, but I don't want to either make her feel bad and sorry for me, or lose 1 of my best friends and her forever. Someone please help me out here
Ok, this is what you do. Listen carefully and DO NOT miss out the steps. Book a holiday to a somewhat far away destination, but don't tell ANY ONE about it. Just before you go, write an email to both guys, Say that there's something you want to say, and tell both of them EXACTLY how you feel. And just GO. Don't answer the phone on the way regardless of who ever calls, unless you are 100% sure its not one of them or any one else who would represent them . Just get on the plane and go, forget about it, and have fun. Stay for atleast two weeks, open your email, and you will know who to call first. And when you do, you will know , Exactly what to do next. If you don't, write back at that point :).
Dude we have the same situation but its simple as this if you ask her out and she agrees then that means she isn't happy with her boyfriend so make the move little by little and don't forget that you must make her realize that you are more deserving for her...
I'm pretty much going through the same thing but the girl is a friend of mine. I know that I'm sort of in love with her. Her relationship is going through a bad time and doesnt look like that it is every going to change. We have been talking a lot on MSN lately. I think she likes me but you never can be sure and you must never assume anything with a girl still in a relationship.
All I can be is a good friend. If they break up then maybe make a move after the dust has settle but at the end of the day, I come first in my life and I'm looking after number 1.
Thaat ssuccks its tha same way for me but the only thing to do is to get time just you and her when you to are alone flirt with her untill she flirts back intell she has her hands around you thn put your hands around her look at her if shes lookin at yuu then start to move yer head a lil twordes hers if she doesnt look away kiss her by kill her I mean make out then when your done talk to her and tell her how you feel tht workked for me once
Um I will try to help you on this but I'm not positive if it will help or not but wait till shes hurt and the no mater what your doing stop and ask " are you allright"
