Anonymous

My Boyfriend Does Not Have Time For Me, What Should I Do?

70 Answers

Babz Bell Profile
Babz Bell answered
Firstly you have to ask yourself and him, why does he have no time for you?
Maybe he works long hours or is in a hard job that leaves him physically or mentally exhausted. He may want to make the time but feels that there's no point and that he won't be much company if he's going to fall asleep within half an hour of seeing you. He may be working hard to save up for something. Then again he may be working hard to avoid seeing you.
If doesn't have a stressful or difficult workload, in other words, if he has the time then you have to talk about this face to face and be honest with each other.
He may be suffering, and please don't take this personally, from depression. Depression can strike anyone and sometimes for no reason at all. One of the effects of this condition is to force everybody away, even those that are nearest and dearest to the sufferer. He may be unwilling to share or acknowledge this but ultimately if you love each other you should share each other problems. Then again he may be a very private person, is he an only child? Has he always been distant or has this scenario developed over the time you have been together.
It may be worth trying to set up a date night once a week, where you both dedicate time to each other. It doesn't have to be going out to dinner or anything expensive but simply to establish something you do together.
If none of these suggestions or reasons sounds right it might be time to cut your losses. Make sure you are completely sure of this decision and as I said before discuss your relationship thoroughly before you make your move.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I'm going through the same thing right now, what ive decided to do is just try & get on with my own life, coz I think some guys know when they can come to you whenever they please just coz they know you'll always be free coz you've got nothing better to do. Well I'm going to give myself better things to do, and see if he feels it & tries to make more effort, if he does then good, if not, it clearly doesnt mean much to him that your nor around.
Jessica Bolton Profile
Jessica Bolton answered
When he comes to you, you pretend you are busy. Tease him a bit untill he asks you why you don't have time for him. Stop calling him and just hang out with your friends. Then when he becomes lonely without you, you come back to him. Thats what I would do.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Ignore him, let him think you don't have time for him. Let him know that if he is going to be in your life that HE IS GOING TO BE IN YOUR LIFE, its not going to be some rumor going around. You expect to be paid attention to and if he can't do that you will find someone who can. Be strong, stand your ground my dear.
Sam Hill Profile
Sam Hill answered
I've been in that situation before, I hear where your coming from. My bf broke up with me because he had no time for me, it was for the best. If he doesnt even have a few hours to spend with you out of a week, then dump him, tell him you need to be with someone that will be around often, and isn't to busy to be with someone they LOVE.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Point blank!!!  He is trying to tell you without telling you that he is NO LONGER INTERESTED.  He is more than likely looking or talking or even going out, in some cases already intimate, with other women.  He does not appreciate you!!  I like to call it the 80 - 20 rule.  You are the 80 percent that he doesn't realize is most precious and what he will want down the road.  He looks at another girl ( the 20 percent) and decides that temporarily that is what he wants.  Some guys and men are not thinking and if they do it is not with their heads.  DUMP HIM !!!  You hear me? DUMP HIM NOW!!  Then in a month when he is texting you and calling you and you don't respond.  BLOCK HIS NUMBER.  So simple!!!  Some other man will love you the way you want.  He'll look at you and say " LIKE IT< LOVE IT> got to HAVE IT> and before you know there is the ring, the house, the life that you want and been praying for.    DON"T MISS OUT ON THAT GOOD LIFE!!!  ------p. T.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You know what you have to do,sometime people have to let it go
why waste time on that person, it takes two to make it happen
if he love you he would if he can't theirs someone out their that will
love you and hold you the way it should be love is not a game .
Sofia Profile
Sofia answered
If your boyfriend doesn't have time for you then that means he's not ready for a relationship being in a relationship isn't all about being called " boyfriend and girlfriend" it's about dedicating time to that person and being there. I think maybe you should talk to him about it and tell him what you think and go from there. There's plenty of fish in the water.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I'm going through the same thing right now, what ive decided to do is just try & get on with my own life, coz I think some guys know when they can come to you whenever they please just coz they know you'll always be free coz you've got nothing better to do. Well I'm going to give myself better things to do, and see if he feels it & tries to make more effort, if he does then good, if not, it clearly doesnt mean much to him that your nor around.
Kele Brewer Profile
Kele Brewer answered
He should MAKE time for you. He's your boyfriend, he's supposed to be there for you and love you. If he's not there he can't do that. Dump him! He's not worth it. You deserve better.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
GOSH youll women ...relax..Let him have his space. We guys need to  have fun with our guy friends and we might never pick our phones or reply...it does not mean that we don't love you.
Remember don't get clingy and don't nag.don't keep calling cause guys hate it when youll keep calling.If hes with his guy friends let him be.You find things to do and keep yourself busy.We not cheating on you but need to have some guy time like drink or do something stupid the whole day.We care about youll...and sometimes we forget and  youll remember as a result of that don't hit it out on us cause men and women are completely different beings.MEN don't LIKE CLINGY AND DEPENDANT WOMEN.
Don ask 247 what we upto like youll checking up on us.
And get some friends cause youll women can BITCH ! We guys fight and the next day we best of buddies. Youll need to learn a thing or two.
If things are on his mind don expect us men to do other things cause the priority will be the problem at hand and might need a way to vent it out. GOOD LUCK
Megan Nugent Profile
Megan Nugent answered
Yeah I was having the same problem when he use to live with me at my grandma`s house see he works from 5 in the morning until 5 in the evening Monday- Friday and sometimes Sat. and Sundays which was our days together and I felt the same way as you I felt like he had no time for me but when he was home which was for 3 hrs and then he`d go to bed and wake up and leave me the time we spent together was magical. I quests it all depends on how much time he saves for you and him to be together (alone). I truly believe its better to live with the person then to be apart then you can see him at night and spend some time together but if you 2 live apart which happened to us a couple months later it got harder I hardly ever seen him or talked to him and I told him numerous times and he just said "I`m sorry I`m always busy" then after that long talk we had I got to see him more often he saved some time to be with me where we could have "us time" and I liked it very much. So try asking him if he would mind trying to save time for you and his relationship. GOOD LUCK
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If he really loves you he will make time time for you. If you stay together make certain days 'Your" days together and just hang out with no one else but you to. I hope it works out for you!!!!!....
Senzy M Profile
Senzy M answered
Making time for you is common courtesy. If he cannot do simply that, where do you see yourselves in two months? I guess that gives you your answer. So I'd rather you do the dumping before he does it.
Samantha Davie Profile
Samantha Davie answered
If he doesnt have time for you then he is a total jerk and you should lose him or you should talk to him about it so he can understand what your going through so you can make him have time for you
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
That sounds very shady, since I don't know the situation...do research!

And if you are positive hes not cheating,tell him how you feel and let him know that you want to spend time with him.

If he continues to not make time for you kindly tell him that you need a guy who's going to be there when you need him to be and he is just not that guy.

(Let him down easy, if he can't help not being around don't make him feel guilty for it.)

- Erica
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You just need time to get everything settled down.. May be he is working to be settled down with you?.. Don dump him.. Just ask.. Him whether is their any problem in his life.. Nd try to solve it
Elizabeth Hayes Profile
Elizabeth Hayes answered
If your boyfriend doesnt have time for you,, it means that he has a lot of things going on right now,, and you should be supportive of that...and just wait it out and see if things get better. And when he does make time for you cherish it. (: Thats all I know to do.
thanked the writer.
Ramona Caquias
Ramona Caquias commented
You sound like he has you fooled. I feel in my heart if a man has no time for you you are simply not that important and whatever he is doing or at is clearly more important. I too was in denial. But I am beginning to see the light. We never have time together anymore. His son takes up all his time and I am a leftover choice. I believe that I am not that important since a baby mama is involved in this situation. He is at her house daiily to see his son. HMMMM.
Sarah scheels Profile
Sarah scheels answered
My boyfriend spends all day on his video games....and tells me he will spend time with me or "one more game" and just never does....until I bug him about it. Then I feel annoying, of course....he makes time for his friends to go out and do things outside, but when I ask he straight up says no. I'm getting kinda fed up. I still have no idea what I'm going to do because he constantly tells me that I need to understand that his games are a major part of his life and I don't want him to think I don't care about what's important to him....my suggestion to you is to let him know that you are here too and that he needs to understand that you are important and you do sometimes need his attention/affection, and you don't feel like he treats you as if you are important. Be honest....if he still seems numb to how you are feeling, as hard as it may be, let him know you will break it off it things keep up.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Truly the answer is only with you. You know more than anybody the reasons why you guys don't see each other all the time. It's WORK, SCHOOL. OBLIGATIONS, OR just nagging family memebers aka mothers and grandmothers longing for attention from their son or daughter.Really getting two regular working or career driven people in the same place is hard to do in this economy. Making money and not being broke will be better for your relationship too. YOU know what you have to do it might really suck, but seein each other once a week is just the reality you and your partner have to face. Because honestly if you spend all your time with your partner, your gunna be broke , have no place to live, and be at each others throats. Stop crying and Love the time you have with each other !!
Johnny D Profile
Johnny D answered
Give him all the time in the world and find someone that does have time for you... Maybe he'll grow up then.. If he wanted to spend time with you then he'd make time..
Fallon  O'Brien Profile
Fallon O'Brien answered
Gurl iv gone through the same thing and I wish ive done what I'm about to tell you.... You should dump him cause he might just be making excuses so he can have fun some were else!
Elhana Harman Profile
Elhana Harman answered
What to do, what to do.. Well do jump into things by chucking him, give him a chance. Look at reasons why he doesn't have time, weather it is working to jobs, school work, family time or friends. Then you must decide whether he can help it and how much you understand. For example, if he concentrates herd on his school work, it should be understood that he wants good grades and that it is unfair to try taking that sorta time away from him. However, if he is spending all his free time with his friends then where is his excuse? Is he not able to balance his time? This would be a situation where you need to confront him, ask him why? Does he have a reason? Will he try and change? If there is no good outcome, then maybe you don't mean that much to him. Then would be the time to consider chucking him.
 
Good luck everyone x
Lady D Bell Profile
Lady D Bell answered
If your boyfriend is not giving you the day or time. Then its time for you to moved on and find you someone else.
Mark Tautoa Profile
Mark Tautoa answered
Find time for yourself..and with others and if he sees you spending time with others then only he will come back...... Hope it works..
Carrie Profile
Carrie answered
You should ask him what happened between you two and just talk and then decide where to go from there. You just need to hear what he has to say and then talk about it.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My boyfriend is the same,this made me really think about my relationship. Always busy with work and his son. So I'm dumping his ass right now :)
vijanti dhanji Profile
vijanti dhanji answered
You basically feel like that because of the precious times and moments you have spent with him. When you are in a relation, you tend to meet very often and after sometime and then after sometime you get used to the idea of meeting him daily. The entire point is love is totally like an addictions, you can say like a person addicted to cigarettes or something else. Once you are used to it, it's difficult to over come.

Since your case is about love, you are used to the idea of meeting your love every day and it's very usually that you like it too. So you see when he leaves you or goes out of town for some work or anything like that, you are definitely going to feel the way you are feeling at the time. In order to over come the loneness you should try and indulge yourself with any work while he is not around, like shopping for yourself or taking some cooking classes, by doing so you can get you mind off him but do try to be in contact with him.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I think you should move on with some1 else and if you can't don't have time for him and he will soon come crawling back to you hopefully.
Mermaid Sieve Profile
Mermaid Sieve answered
Its happening to me now ,he's been busy lately ..no time to spend with me ..but after work he'll go out with his friends,colleagues for drinks ..he'll be home tired ,and most of the days drunk ..he'll have time to drink with his friends ,colleague or even to talk to his ex but not me ..once he's home ,he'll be on bed and ill move to cuddle him ,we both will fell asleep..he never attempted to talk to me because he thinks I'm okay with it..today,his phone kept on ringing,one of his girl (friend) was calling him ..ive ignored first few calls but I got so annoyed that I've answered the call and told her to call back since he's sleeping ..my boyfriend got angry coz I've answered the call and he asked me what I'm trying to prove to that girl .it was the first time I've done such thing ..I was so annoyed that everyone get his time except me ..if he could just spend sometime to ask me how I'm feeling ,it would have been gud ..but he didnt ..even he found me acting weirdly since its not something which I will do ,like picking up his call ..I've spit out everything ,watever I'm feeling ...however he sounds upset ,maybe coz he thinks ters no reason for me to be upset ...but I'm sure he knows that I'm hurt..not sure in what I should I do ,I could have handled it better rather than having answered his call..its weird now ,coz he never wanted a relationship at the first place,everytime we argue he will ask me why do we need to be boyfriends and girlfriends ,why can't we just flirt.now with all the emotions involved ,I'm afraid he would decide to leave me .....
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
He is lying to you.Hd doesnt love you. You may not know he is spending his spare time with another girl.don't worry always have the hope that you will find another one who's better.Forget about him
Ambreen Misbah Profile
Ambreen Misbah answered
The first question that you should ask yourself is whether he loves you or not. If he is not sorry about not spending time with you, then he is probably involved in something that interests him more than you. In that case, may be you should stop seeing each other. If he is truly sorry for the lack of time you two are spending together, then you should work out ways of how you could see each other more often. Perhaps you could join the same gym or start socialising with the same group of friends.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I have that problem wit my boyfriend n he tells me he sorry but I wonder if he means it
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You do you, he isn't your oxygen, you don't need him to live have fun with your friends. Just because he doesn't spend every waking moment with you doesn't mean that it is a problem.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Tell him your not happy if you're that bothered about it. Or make him feel what it's like. Or consider if you're not overreacting?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My boyfriend hasnt seen me the whole summer. He says hes busy but I don't know if it is just an excuse. He avoids talking to me. He always tells me that he loves me and even says he means it but it doesnt make me feel better. I am kind of in your situation. You see that he is ignoring you but you like/love him a lot. You don't want to let go. I wud break up w him but its rly hard. If I wer you I wud tell him everything thats wrong. Ive done that w      my boyfriend. He told me thats hed try. Nothing. I hav to talk to him still but I don't know wen I will see him. So my advice is to talk to him and if he doesnt change then dump
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I have been going through the same thing and I realized that if he really wants to see me he will find the way. In my case is because he works a lot on the weekdays and he has his kids over the weekend.
It's Private Huh Profile
Well you should try talking to him alone... Ask him is anything bothering him... Say sorry if it's you(well, say only if it's really you. Or if you aren't, then it's up to you.. P.S: Saying sorry even if it's not you who is bothering him, can make him feel better). If you aren't romantic with him, then that could be the problem. If you guys have never done sex/or made love... Then I guess he wants it... Ask him that "is it because you aren't romantic with him or is it because you have not had sex/or made love yet" while having the talk alone.

If he says yes to both, then it's up to you... You decide that do you want to be romantic with him, have sex/or make love with him or something something...

Or if you just think he is using you, then I think it's better for you to leave him(at least before he break-up with you)... I bet you going to have a better boyfriend next time in life.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My boyfriend is the same way, he's a hockey player, and always has hockey, week nights and weekends, over the christmas break things were perfect. But now he has his playoffs and is busy 90% of the time, I'm the girl and I am ALWAYS the one to text him first. He is really sweet to me though, when we are alone, or even when we do text. I love him so much, what should I do?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You should have a heart to herat conversation with him!
&& then see if you need time away from each other!
Sarah jessica Profile
Sarah jessica answered
All you simply need to do is to go over to him and talk to him about this dilemma of yours. Tell him that you do need and desire his attention and that you wish to spend some real good quality time in his fantastic company. He will surely unravel your quandary and will look forward to spending time with you!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You should sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel about him not spending time with you. Hopefully, he will understand. Most of the time you can usually talk to your boyfriend about almost anything. If you just tell him that you are not spending time together and that you would like to spend more time with him then he will probably try to spend more time with you.
maruth jaum Profile
maruth jaum answered
Try to understand him .. Ask him of what makes him busy ..
His world should not just focus on you because he must find himself, he must provide things to make himself live good as long as his family in the future which could be you ..

He maybe one call away from you ..  Do something ,
sonn peski Profile
sonn peski answered
I would like to say that some guys when confronted with the way you feel/about not having time/they back out even more. I am sitting on my own on a beautiful day while he is writing his essay. For 2 weeks now. I understand that studying is important and so is work etc but he lives around the corner, can't be bothered to text me today or anything else. He never had a girlfriend before and I really took to his shy ways but I am really gutted after 6 weeks of dating feeling this lonely. Any suggestions?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If he does not have time for you than lets talk how old are you and tell the truth and I ll tell you my age
dano Pfister Profile
dano Pfister answered
You can either break up with him and spend time with someone else or you could ask him to clear up his sc edual so you can spend time together
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Ive been dating my bf for 4 months now, and he just recently started working two jobs and going to school, and he doesnt have the time for me anymore. What should I do?!?

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