My Boyfriend Loves Me A Lot But Sometimes He Talks To His Ex Girlfriend And I Feel Bad. However I Never Told Him That I Feel Bad Because I Know That He Will Only Say That He Loves Me And I Dont Want To Force Him To Stop Talking To Her Or Anything. What Should I Do?
Is it bad if your boyfriend talks to his Ex? Talking to his ex-girlfriend is probably natural, she was his girl 'FRIEND', and she was a part of his life, it all depends on how he talks with her, and how often. Does he talk about her fondly, or too often? If not it is likely that it is just part of his past.
Of course you don't like it, most men or women would think that they are being compared to a previous partner, but the reality is, if they wanted to be with them instead of you they would be. You have to be content that they have chosen to be with you. As long as he is not being insensitive by referring to things that he liked about her, he just isn't thinking of the effects it'll have on you. Of course, if he starts telling you that his ex would do this or do that, then I would ask him outright, If he wishes he was still with her?
Get him to stand in your shoes for a day. Do you have an Ex and do you talk to him at all? Maybe you have second thoughts and this is what is making you think that he is doing the same in harboring feelings for his. If you don't talk to your ex more, maybe ask you boyfriend how he would feel about you talking to your ex, or even say that you bumped into him and chatted for a few minutes. If your boyfriend gets annoyed about this, then you have the perfect opportunity to speak to him about it, just explain its hard to hear it sometimes, and hopefully he will be more sensitive to you and stop talking to her altogether sooner or later.
Dear Esha, it is normal to feel this way. When you love somebody, it is always good to let him know how you feel. Do not keep your feelings away from the person you love. Do bear in mind that if you are extremely lenient, they could rekindle the old flames of love which may result in his breaking-up with you. This is not meant to hurt you, but just to let you know that you should not bottle-up your feelings inside you. He should get the message that he has to stick to a certain level or limit with his ex-girlfriend.
You need to talk, care for each other and love sincerely. If you need someone to talk to, it should be your boyfriend and not blurtit.com. He's your partner and it's very important he knows how you feel. I'm sure if you did the same thing, he would feel insecure as well. Learn to use the right words and at the right moment. If he can't stand your viewpoint and feels annoyed or retaliates, then I am sorry, he is not a caring guy at all. However, do not just lose your head and shout at him. Speak softly and firmly. Even if you feel jealous, let him know because it is normal. If you are feeling hurt, let him know too. Work towards a meaningful relationship.
Let it go. If you force him not to talk to her, you could set yourself up for a hard fall. You could tell him how it makes you feel. If he loves and respects you he'll do what is right. Ex's can be a threat but there are some out there who really only want friendship. Be open, not crabby about your feelings. You'll know what kind of love he has for you by his actions. Good luck
I would directly tell him how I felt and then I would volley back with the question "How would he feel if you talked to one of your ex's?" If he says it wouldn't bother him then he's lying because we all have the natural tendency to be jealous of a spouse with an ex!
If he's only talkng to his former girlfriend and he doesn't hide the fact from you don't worry too much. Perhaps they are still friends and this can happen. It must be making you feel insecure but it would be different if he was doing it behind your back and it doesn't seem that he is doing this. It won't do any harm to gently say that you feel a bit uneasy about his contact with her but he'll probably laugh it off. Don't make a big issue of it or it might cause a problem. He probably has no idea that he's hurting you and if you talk to him without making a fuss or a scene he might realise how sensitive you feel. However if you start to dictate to him he might not be so sympathetic so be careful how you approach the subject . I'm sure it'll work out once you've got your worries out in the open.
