Anonymous

Should I Forgive My Girlfriend, She Has Cheated On Me Twice Before?

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27 Answers

Jeromeproofer Penn Profile
This depends on the circumstances that caused her to cheat - you need to understand why this occurred and think about whether you can forgive her.

It is good to forgive but maybe you should not give her a third chance as she is showing her true colors by showing no loyalty to you as a girlfriend. It is a matter of value, love and maturity - if you think she will cheat again there is no point on carrying on the relationship. Partnerships are built on trust and respect and it seems that you have lost this for your girlfriend.

However, there are a few things you do as you consider whether to forgive her this time.
Firstly create a list of things you want answering about the second affair. The more you know about it, the more reason you will understand why it happened. If your girlfriend is not willing to part with this information then it is probably not worth pursuing as a relationship. Importantly, make sure you know the truth and see if you can forgive.

It is not just the sex involved in the affair but also the lies and deceptions involved in it that can be hard to take. It may not be worth simply forgetting it happened as that leaves thoughts open that she could cheat again. You must make sure you consciously and specifically forgive your girlfriend if you want to make a go at this.

Don't always listen to what other people have to say but follow your heart and decide whether you can forgive her for the hurt it has caused, the humiliation to you and all the lies that she has told. It may be time to end the relationship if you do not think you can do this.
Mark Westbrook Profile
Mark Westbrook answered
No. The answer is, where is your spine? She has cheated on you and you deserve better than someone who treats you like that. Why are you still with someone who has even cheated on you once, even cheated on you a little bit, just even a kiss. It's really important that you get a hold of yourself and realise that this person is using you as a rock between other 'adventures'.

Get a grip of yourself, dump her immediately. She does not deserve you just one bit. You are worth so much more than that! You need to find someone who just wants you.

If she loves you, she never could have done it to you. If you love her, do her a favour and dump her now. That will help her realise that people can't be treated this way. She likes the attention of other men, dump her.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Its obvious that the person above me has been cheated on. Apparently you either love her or you have been with her for sooooo long that you don't want to start over. If she cheated once, its natural that you would forgive and forget, I bet you didnt ask any questions either. This is typical for someone that just doesn't want to deal with that fact that they were just cheated on. So you give her another chance. That's fine BUT she sees that you r a easy target. She realizes how she got caught that first time and trys to hide it better next time. And since you didn't make a big deal out of it that first time she knows you wont go anywhere that next time. It could be that she wants more. She's bored with you, she sees you as a good friend to hang out with or maybe she gets a rush out of doing it. Its ALWAYS fun sneaking around until you get caught. To me it sounds like she was sorry she got caught, and she doesn't care about you or your feelings. If you still can't see that then sit her down and ask her WHY she keeps doing it. Tell her to be a women and say what she really wants. Tell her you only forgive her because you loved her and believed her when she said she was sorry and wouldn't do it again. MAKE her explain!!!! If an when she doesn't give you any answers that are solid and have meaning behind it then be prepared to leave her. You have been that fool to long, you deserve only that best and trust me there is oneone that can give you that. So man up and get talking.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
Well, I have been on both sides of he cheating scale...now I have Karma catching up to me with the last 2 going out on me. The first was my xwife and I forgave before we got married, but years later I would not and could not erase the cheating out of my mind- and unfortunately used as ammo in every big argument during our rocky marriage....eventually leading to divorce.
The 2nd I loved so much but I broke up after hearing what my gut already knew. Its been 2 years and I still want her back-but the fact is I can forgive but never forget...My advise is go with your instincts you cant go wrong either you choose wisely or learn a valuable life lesson...up to you...gl...
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Forgive all you want. It is good for you to forgive eventually. But don't think about giving her a third chance. I made the mistake of giving a second chance to a GF of more than five years. We've been working to fix things for the past nine months. Just the other night, she sent me a text message saying she loved me. The next morning she said she woke up in some dude's apartment and while she doesn't remember, she knows that she had sex with him. It is simply a matter of respect, love and maturity. Ask yourself this: Could you cheat on someone you love? Could you cheat on someone you respect? Would you cheat on someone you love and someone you respect? And how immature do you have to be to not tell someone that you no longer want to see them, or to expect them to be faithful to you while you're out flirting around and trying to get laid? Forgive her, then forget her. She will cheat again. She will cheat on future boyfriends, too. Like some men, some women are just pieces of [email protected]#, my ex girlfriend included. If that's your thing, then fine, but it doesn't seem like it is. It's simple: Cheating once is a terminable offense, although that can be suspended. Cheating twice leaves absolutely no room for debate.
Ernie Fascio Profile
Ernie Fascio answered
I'm going through this right now.  This time it was a 7 month affair with a man 30 years her elder.  She stated that it wasn't about the sex, rather the time they spent together.  IT depends on the person.  We have been together 2 years and this is the 2nd time I've caught her cheating.  Everyone says there must be more!  I love her more than life itself.  No one person, especially an online forum,  can tell you whether to forgive her or not.  Look inside yourself, is she worth it?  Is the time you've spent together worth it?  Has too much damage really been done to fix it?  These are questions you can only for yourself.  If you have any doubt and I mean ANY DOUBT then the answer is no.

Just my 2 cents worth
Valerie Fogarty Profile
Valerie Fogarty answered
Ever hear the saying, once a cheater always a cheater??? Well that saying is talking about if they even cheated on you once. So your girl cheated on you not only once but again after that making it two time. So that saying is true! Now if she can cheat once and then again, more then likely its going to happen again. So you should probably tell her she don't deserve you and find someone better.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
No no no! I had a gf of few years that cheated behind my back. When confronted she tried to hid till the last second, till I read her text msgs out loud to her on how much she wants to screw this guy more. Got you bitch. Now she tells me she might do it again, doing me a favor. Girls can be a real $hi+ too, ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
The question is not whether you SHOULD, because the answers you receive will vary on people's different opinions. But only you can judge because the real question is, is it worth it? Is SHE worth a third chance? Is she worth the pain you've experienced? How much does she love you and how much do you love her? And also, I suppose it really depends considering nobody here knows the details. However, I wouldnt, because I believe that I couldnt be with someone who sabotaged my trust. I also don't believe in once a cheater, always a cheater because people change. And we need to give them a second chance. So this case is really about you, and only you can decide what you SHOULD do. But remember, one day you may need many chances...
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Words to the wise:

Twice, eh?  What you may not realize is that you are already stuck with forgiving . . .because you have forgiven already, twice. So just go along for the ride and don't worry and get all bent out of shape. It will be she who dumps you - that is your destiny. So look around and plan ahead. In the meanwhile remember: It will be easier for you to catch her replacment while she's still around rather than after you're left alone. It's the pheromone thing, don't you see?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
No because she treats you like a complete scum, you should show our wearing the trousers,  and in a few months if shes not been with anyone and still telling you she loves you then giver her a thirds chance, but you call the shots not her.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Get rid of her, same exact situation I'm in and I can't forget or forgive.  Shell use it in arguments or if she doesn't get her way, saying things like, "you know how many guys want/ like me".  She obviously doesnt care about how you feel.  Youve seen those movies, do you want to be that guy getting played and used and left in crap in the end or the one that moves on to better things and sees the person he left hasn't changed, regardless of what effort you gave it?  If this was a war movie, 'get out of there, it's going to blow!'
Jimmy Bob Profile
Jimmy Bob answered
Don't forgive her becuse she did it obvisly becuse she didnt love you enough stand by you and plus if you forgave her she would think its ok to cheat becuse she knows that ure going to forgive her I SHOULD KNOW my boyfriend was always loving caring and well perfect but I just found out that he cheated I know its a horrible feeling.we are in the process of splitting up and cancling the wedding obvisly I wasnt the one that he truely loved so thats the same witch you.and as a man wouldsay theres other fish in the sea that would be lucky to have you maybe us
Taryn Hamlyn Profile
Taryn Hamlyn answered
Yes and no,  It is your choice what you do. I would break up with her , because she doesn't love you if she feels the need to cheat on you. Did she tell you the truth or did you catch her? If she told you  truth that is good, but if she did this TWICE she obviously doesn't love you and you need someone who loves you to be happy.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
It's okay to forgive her, but could you forget or would you keep bringing it up in arguments? Personally, I would have forgiven the first time, but the second time I don't think I could. She undoubtedly has issues that she needs to deal with before she can be loyal with someone. I'm not saying she wouldn't be worth it, but what is causing her to cheat? Is it something that she grew up with? Seeing it in her own family? Or does she just like the attention from others? Only you can answer your question - Give it another shot or call it quits.... Like the old saying goes...."Fool me once, shame on you...Fool me twice, shame on me"
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Uh it depends if you luv her or not if you have true feelings 4 her then yes but if you think she will just keep doing it cause she knows you will just forgive her then NO WAY MAN!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Hell no you gave her a second chance already I wouldnt for one if you give her another one she do it again and run over you
Kitty Grant Profile
Kitty Grant answered
No way! Don't forgive her! If she's cheated on you twice, she's sure to do it again! DO NOT FORGIVE HER! But good luck! <3 lol
Isa Martinez Profile
Isa Martinez answered
No. If she really loved you she wouldn't have done that. Plus she probably wants to act "mature" even tho its not at all. Dump her now!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I think you would forgive her to you get another one.
Maybe she will show you her regret but sure it ll be just for a while to find the 3 one.
So you shouldn't wait for that.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
It shouldn't even be about you forgiving her. She should be forgiving you for not satisfying her, I do not know in what capacity you are not satisfying her in but there is something she get's from someone else that you can't give her. I would embrace her being fulfilled elsewhere, you are lucky to have her, do everything you can to make her happy, she deserves it.

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