I Want To Break Up With My Boyfriend That I Care For Dearly, But I'm So Scared Cause I'm Gonna Break His Heart.any Help?

43 Answers

Frances Bott Profile
Frances Bott answered
Breaking up with someone is never easy and no matter how sure you are that you do not want to be in the relationship it can still inevitably break your heart, especially if you care for your partner.

Therefore, it is essential that you do things right and avoid some common pitfalls.

First of all, be sure that you do want to end the relationship. It will be horrible if you regret it afterwards, so do not act impulsively.

Do not stay in a relationship and behave in a way to try and make your partner break up with you. This is a cowardly way out which will not end well. Be thoughtful and honest about how you feel.

Your partner will probably need closure to move on, so offer reasons why you can't be together anymore and make sure they sound final, otherwise he may want to work on the issues you mentioned. If that is not what you want, be firm and re-instate that it is definitely over. Do not offer false hope just to make him feel better.

Do not get sucked into the idea of staying friends immediately post break-up. Neither of you will be able to move forward and it will be easy to fall back into the same trap.

Always do it in private, never on the phone or worse still, by text or email.

This may come as a shock to your partner so he may become spiteful or offensive. Just calmly walk away and do not get involved in any unnecessary drama.
Lisa Marie Halsey Muniz Profile
Yes, it may break his heart but you need to do what you need to do.  You need to move on and be happy.  Just remain friends but you will maybe want to keep your space from him for a while because it will be very hard for him I am sure and he will have expectations of getting back together probably.  All you can do is be honest, you would want the same.  You have to break a few hearts and I am sure you will have a few broken hearts before you find the right one.  Its just life and how it works.  So honest here is the best policy.  Good luck.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well it sounds like you really care for your boyfriend but theres no point dating someone who you don't want to be date ing. Just say "Look (boyfriends name) I'm really sorry but I don't think its going to work out I mean between you and me but I really want you I'm my life so can we stay best friends but just stop dating ". Hes sure to under stand if he doesnt respect that you don't want it then hes really not worth it but you can't just keep dating him just in case  he will get upset you need to think of you as well and you will be a lot happier:)hope this helps.Anonymous
dean fritz Profile
dean fritz answered
You must think of yourself in this situation just be honest with him and tell him how it is if he lies to you now he will never change move on theres someone out there for you who will be honest take your time in finding someone else BE CHOOSEY YOU DESERVE HONESTY
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Gurl if hes pushing you away than you need to dump him because it seems to like he don't care about what he does to you so I think you should just move on and find a very desent guy that cares about you and that really likes you and even love you!!!!!
G B Profile
G B answered
Be very direct, explain to him exactly why you're not happy. Explain to him what you need in your life that he is not giving you, and the need to feel connected. With just a small lie you can completely shatter trust which takes a very long time to gain back. Let him know this is about you feeling comfortable, not about blaming him because that just leads to long unnecessary conversations and arguments, even though he may be to blame that's not what you want (a drawn out conversation). Quick and to the point, don't look back because you can find yourself being locked into a relationship trying to "work things out" where you don't even want them to work., you just want out.
166958 Oh yeah!!! Profile
Friendship may the the resolution to this. You can still love and care for someone without them being you boyfriend.
anahi hernandez Profile
anahi hernandez answered
My best advice is to just let him know straight up the situation that has been going on for sometime and let it go. Its simple but hard, I know I had a boyfriend of 3 years and it was the same situation and I kept always thinking he can change and possibly make it work but if its been going for time to time it will be healthier to let him go by just telling him why you are breaking up with him you are helping yourself express your feelings and maybe it will help him not make the same mistake with someone else..hope my advice was any help to you!!..good luck!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Ive felt the heart that comes from that. So I really recommend just see if time will fix your problems and do some of the stuff tiggersmom said just keep in mind that if you do break up with someone in love with you it herts them a lot. And could lead to a lot of stress for both of you
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
He lie!!!! What about you you lied to your daughter and wife > the only secret in your marriage was you liked men not us.why ?????? Be happy????
Jacquelyn Mathis Profile
I don't think you need to break up right away, just do some good soul searching for yourself. Meaning that you think about what you want in your life, and do you want to include your boyfriend in your future. It seems like you want to, but you have to think about it, so here's what you do, tell him that you want to take a little time for yourself to sort out what you want to do, and tell him that you are feeling like this. It might hurt, but do it in a way that you show him that you are taking his feelings into consideration. Hope this helps.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My girlfriend and I broke up a just a month ago and she said we should remain friends.. On my opinion if you broke up with him give him time to clear things up in his mind and in his thoughts... Base from my own experience its very hard situation.. Like what happened to me and now after we broke up were on the same class and as time pass by I realize I still love her but then she broke up with me.. Think first cause it hurts
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I have the exact same problem now.. I a, so confused...at times I feel like I love him but other times it just seems like I am dating him for  no reason....and on the other hand I keep thinking of this other guy I use to date and how I miss him. I am so confused!!!!! :(  please help me too.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Hi. I am 13 almost 14 and I am in the same situation as you.
My boyfriend seems to me ; that he doesn't like me anymore.
But I really like him and I think I could have loved him.
But not after what he did.
What I am thinking of doing is.. Go up to him at school, and tell him
that you still like him.. But you need some time to think about what is going on in life..
And how he (as your boyfriend) effects your life...
I mean..he could feel the same and want the same thing to ..
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
This question/situation relates to me..  I'm 14 years old too. Me and my boyfriend are 4 days together... I thought I loved him so much that I could give him all he wants from me but.. I think thats not the way it must be. I can't feel any SPARK at all.. But he feels it... I'm too confused about this kind of relationship. And the fact is were on the same organization where relationship is prohibited.. Actually he don't text me at all... He only buys me a food... Says I love you.  Nothing more:( he is not jealous of anyone. I think  you don't need to break up with him...
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well,for me,I can suggest that you should break up with him because the guy will hurt so much if he feels the way you are with him...I think you're not in love anymore with your boyfriend...
 
   (aliya)
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Either tell I'm you need to be friends and you need some spaces right now honesty usually works
suresh kumar Profile
suresh kumar answered
That is love. You're in love with him. He loves a lot so don't break up with him. It is better to you.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
He doesnt sound like a nice person I say you dump him and find someone that cares and thinks about you and how you feel I think when you have that somone never let them go hold on tight x
private private Profile
private private answered
Yes break up with him it's not fair or right to be in love alone just do it in a nice talk and tell him that you really love him and you want to still be friends but really make sure that this is what you really want don't do something that you will regret later
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Whatever you do don't try to be friends with him afterwards. This is called friend-zoning and is the most awful feeling in the world.
He would then have to watch you go out with other guys, know you have slept with some, see you upset when it doesn't work out and be depressed when it does. Don't do this to another poor guy who doesn't deserve it. If anything give him a reason to hate you. A reason to still care about you will not end well for him.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
Im a guy, shes right! The worst thing u can ever do to a guy!

Just tell him u wanna break up, and you cannot be friends afterwords. Its too painful for the guy, atleast till he finds someone else
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If you don't love him break up with him because you will end up hurting him more in the long run. If your not sure take some time to figure it out and once you know how you feel your answer will be clear.
Katherine James Profile
Katherine James answered
Come on. Life is very short don't think too much about just one factor in your life. I would say don't dump that boy if he still loves you. Try to remain loyal to him.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I'm 25 years old my bf n I is stay together now for almost 2years now and in the first day we meet we stay together in 1 place meaning live in then in the beggining I don't really have feelings to him and then after 3months I feel like I fall in love with him n I know he feel the same thing
but after 6months he start counting
on my mistakes or in my dialy mistakes he always told me that I have to many man but god knows I'm straight my love is pure and real but he always tell me that I have to many other bf it bc-oz maybe I talk or I chat with my friends
sometimes I think that maybe he just kidding
but now his in iraq for almost 1month now and I try to talk to him sent him a email almost or maybe 3 five times a day sent him a card but he never answer me it bc-oz maybe I make him  mad

you think he loves me or no I really don't know what to do or I have to many friends but I don't share with them my problems I want them to think that I have a perfect lovelife  

but I believe that if you love someone you never count or love is blind?
He told me that I have no I dea what he have been true on his life so how I know his a silent person he never told me about his past
I don't know if what to do sometimes I think that he really don't love me but after all I don't know I  give up on him please friends I don't know what to do I want to find a answer bfor he get back

well if some of you don't understand this please read it again and again till you get what I mean
thanks
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Hit the road. Just move on. Delete his name from your phonebook. Don't answer his calls. You don't need him. You are much better than that. His loss. Plenty more where he came from. Don't lower your self, he's not worth it. Men are never satisfied with what they have until they lose it. Honestly, there is not one perfect man out there. No one out there will ever satisfy your every need. There is only one who's perfect and you wont find him walking this earth. Better to be alone than with bad company.  You need to make yourself happy. Find what makes you happy and stick with it. But put your trust in no man. Man will always let you down. Put your hope in things above, man can't give you what you need to feel full-filled in this life. Focus on the one who made man. Only He can make you feel whole, feel complete, fill you with peace and happiness. In the end... With Him is where you want to be. The rest will all turn out fine. Once your priorities are straight. I will put my trust in Him who made the stars in Him is where my hope comes from.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Do things step by step: Firstly I'm going to ask you some questions:
> do you love some one else?
> do you know your boy friend really well?
> do you think he will go mad if you tell him?
> why do you want to break up with your boy friend?
> doe he have some one else?

If your boy friend have some one else that you've seen with him then just tell him.

If all the answers are yes then take things in steps:
Because he'll go mad you have to say it to him indirect all the things you want to say.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Knowledge is power! I'm sure he would far prefer to know whats going on than have you pretend everything is ok. If I was in his position I would much rather know whats happening in reality than live in a fantasy which my boyfriend has created just to keep me from getting hurt. Stop pretending and tell him the truth, even though it would hurt, I'm sure he would be grateful that you told him sooner rather than later. It also gives you the chance to move on in your life.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Just follow your heart. Balance the circumstances weather breaking up with him will makes happy or not....
Johnny Beard Profile
Johnny Beard answered

Go to a quiet place so that he is not embarrassed by being dumped in front of people. However don't break up with him in total isolation in case he gets angry and violent. An ideal place is the quiet part of a public park. Be genuine and explain your feelings. Its never going to be 100% perfect but in my opinion this is the best way.

Good luck :)

tina harris Profile
tina harris answered
Then you must don't won't to break up with him.. Or you will break his heart.
Maybe you should give it a little time.and think this over.I'm felling you really not Sure if you wont to do this. Just yet..   Take care..
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
It seems like he simply does not want to know how you feel,as you said he keeps pushing you away.Maybe your better off without him if hes not taking your feelings into consideration then he doesn`t care much about you.You don`t need him there is many out there that can satisfy your needs and not lie to you.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Just do it! My ex was my best friend too! I thought I couldnt live without him! So just do it!! Delete his number and don't text him! If you try been just 'good friends' your just going to get back with him! It happened to me. I got back with my ex 5 times before I finally got over him! So just be brave and do it! I did it and now I'm really happy with another guy, who's way better that my ex! :)
dovey tar Profile
dovey tar answered
Wow. I broke up with my ex bf, who I don't really love that much, about a year ago. He was walking alone in the school corridors when I saw him. I just went up to him and was like, 'hey! I want to break up. But can we still be friends?' he was like, oh well I forgot his reaction but I think he said yes we could still be friends. Guess what? Until now he hates me. So don't ever try that. Hope I helped. Lol ;D
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I think that you should first give him some hints and then see if he looks at you in a weird way and then text him or call him and ask him if he hates you because then he will think that you hate him and then just dump him itll be a lot easier and tell him that you still want to be friends though
MAUREEN SULLIVAN Profile
I've tried to break up with my boyfriend.  I told him we have grown apart.  I've told him he does not communicate at all.  On top of this he has cheated on me twice over over 5-yr relationship and I have taken him back.  I just do not feel close to him anymore. He always finds a way to get back in my life, but then I am allowing this.  I need end this so he knows it is definite.  I'm not a kid, 57 yrs old.  What is wrong with me?  Any advice for me, I need to move on.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I am in the same thing I love my boyfriend but I can't get a wierd nagging feeling out of my head that I should break up with him. Here is another problem most of my class-mates/friends hates him and all he really likes to do is make out. I don't know what to do. He is my first love, my first kiss I really care for him but that fing nagging feeling keeps me from enjoying me and him being together and I am seriously thinking about breaking up with him yet I love him oh my god I dk what to do HELP ME PLEASE I AM FALLING APART HAVING TO THINK SO MUCH ABOUT THIS IT KILLS ME TO HAVE TO ACTUALLY CONSIDER BREAKING UP WITH HIM BUT I'm NOT 100 PERCENT HAPPY WITH HIM what SHOULD I DO!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You should just listen your heart, and take some time to think what you really want.. A good guy waits for you and gives you as much time as you need to..

Answer Question

Anonymous