My New Boyfriend Has Just Told Me He Has Children. I'm A Bit Freaked Out But I Love Him. Should I Stay With Him?

3 Answers

Carolyn Jones Profile
Carolyn Jones answered
Honestly only you can decide. But here's the deal. You love him. And no doubt he loves you if he's willing to let you in to that part of his life. He's probably been through a lot of heartache and rejection to get to this point with you. Perhaps you have to think of him and not you for a moment.

It doesn't change who he is. It doesn't change how you fell in love. Its just another part of the relationship that you will have to explore. Together.

He will have responsibilities and you will have to be patient. But don't think for a minute he would ever choose you over them. You may find that it enhances your relationship. Give it a chance. Be introduced. Let them get used to seeing you too.

You have to talk this through with him. Talk about how it will work, his responsibilities and how you can fit in. If its meant to be it'll work.
Gillian Smith Profile
Gillian Smith answered
I wonder what else he hasn't told you?
Does he also have a wife who happens to be the mother of his children?
The relationship hasn't got off to a good start here because for whatever reasons he hasn't been honest with you.
He might have been frightened that you wouldn't want him if you knew that he had children but he should have been honest from the start.
He also needs to consider his children in this as they are a central part of his life and any relationship he has.
If you love him then there's no reason at all why you can't have a good relationship with him and include his children because they are part of him and his life.
Perhaps you need now to do some serious talking and ask him to be honest. The children need to see their Father and for him to be in their lives and eventually you could be part of this too.
Don't try to separate him from his children and support him if you really care for him.
Sometimes people do try to avoid the issue of previous relationships but this doesn't really work as the truth usually comes out one way or another.
There is no reason why a relationship which includes children from a previous relationship shouldn't work if you all pull together on this one.
dunia annan Profile
dunia annan answered
You take my advice or leave it, but honestly I tell that in such relationship there is no independent life and your husband will never be there for you and there are some other kinds of feeling you will never know until you try. Don't say 'I love him'; love yourself and pick what makes you secure. A man with children will never make you test that feeling, especially if they have a mom of the kind who adores troubles. Then you will never survive

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