First of all, i don't think you are going to make her not sound like a spoiled selfish child. If she wants so badly to be divorced then tell her to file, and quit complaining. Secondly, if she is the reason for the divorce, she doesn't deserve to get money from the divorce. And what makes you think she won't cheat on you if she is cheating on her HUSBAND. She took and oath before god and everyone that she would be FAITHFUL to him. It really sounds like she is doing both you and her husband dirty, just so she can have her way. You deserve better than that! Everyone does (even her husband). I don't think she sounds like a very good role model for her son either. What is he going to learn about life from this situation? It is okay to manipulate people as long as you get something from it. There is no sense in you wasting your time waiting around for something that may or may not happen. Surely, you respect yourself more than this?
If she has not cut ties with her current husband to be with you by now, then she Isn't going to. She is playing you. You are just a fling to her and she is using you for her own fun. DUMP her and find someone who is really available and will treat you right.
Why don't you try to talk to her about the status of your relationship. I think it would be better to ask her now, because maybe she's also having a hard time with your relationship and having difficulties in deciding the right move.
Your last sentence is key. Why do YOU think she is distant? This is not a healthy relationship. These relationships usually do not end up on a positive note