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What To Do If You Fall In Love With A Married Man?

7 Answers

Matthew Porter Profile
Matthew Porter answered
Whether you are married or not, falling in love with a married man (or woman for that matter) is simply a bad idea, and yet it happens time and time again. Of course, you can't help who you fall in love with; it may be something that through circumstances and time you have found just happened.

You now have a real predicament on your hands and a certain amount of personal pain to endure whichever direction you choose in this matter. If you are already in a relationship yourself, then you perhaps owe it to your partner to forget about this other individual. If falling for someone else has highlighted a problem with your own relationship, your time would be better spent trying to sort that out instead.

If you are not currently in a relationship, then falling for someone who is married can only go one of three ways

1.  You will date each other for a while and after the excitement of the fact that this is an affair and the added element that you are doing something naughty has worn off, it will come to a natural end.  If you are in relationships, this will only happen if you never get found out!

2.  One of you will fall in love and want to take it to the next stage, but the other will never leave their partner - but may promise too.  Quite often, people find that affairs make their own sex life more interesting.

3.  You will find that you are both in the wrong relationship at the moment and separate from your existing partners and start a real relationship together.

Of course, in any early stages of a relationship the feelings are really strong and the sex is exciting.  However, splitting a couple up and having an affair could be a painful experience and probably not just for you. Don’t forget that the person you have fallen for already has a spouse - perhaps kids at home too and then you have a whole new element to think about.

If the guy doesn’t know that you have a thing for him, it’s probably best to leave it that way. Try to focus on your own relationships and the things that are happening in your own life. There is no doubting the impact an affair of this nature would have on your own state of mind.

Think seriously, about the effects this could have on everyone involved, and ask yourself, Would this just be for a bit of fun? Or can you imagine every day and night with this person, holidays, good times, bad times...awful times?  The course of true love never runs smooth and sometimes people just want what they cant have.  Consider all of this, then pause, consider your future, and theirs and go with what feels right, just remember that some things can't be undone if you regret it.
Steven Vakula Profile
Steven Vakula answered
I would get out of love with him as fast as you can. If he is cheating on this wife he will cheat on you. In most instances the relationship will not last anyway statistically. The forbidden fruit is an allure to many but restraint and discipline is what you need. You will have many lonely nights, empty weekends and holidays and just moments of sneaking. How would you feel in the wife's shoes if your situation were reversed?
Renee' Purdy Profile
Renee' Purdy answered
I did fall madly in love with a married man. That was and sort of is my story still. We first got together uncontrollably, and the day after they're period of separation began we had sex the first time. It was very rough from that point until the point that the divorce was in fact final. But, we made it through. However, I will be honest with you. Jealousy you will find will eventually become your second nature. Like it or not. He deals with hell sometimes due to it. A lot of times I find I am miserable because of it. But, even with all the horrible times and of coarse the good. Yes I would undoubtedly do it all over again. But, I will advise that you get out of it, if a divorce does not begin to be in the works. Or they become separated. If either one of those does not happen then he's really not that serious about you at all.
Penny Kay Profile
Penny Kay answered
Get out of the relationship, as if that man had a bomb strapped in his underwear. When they say the man rarely leaves his wife, that my friend is all too true. He will keep you hanging on and you will have no life, while he has his cake and eats it too. Don't believe anything he tells you. He is a liar. That is what they do. You will spoil your life away for the dogeared shreds of time that she allows you to have. She will be the controlling factor, believe me. Been there, done that. Spent Holidays, weekends, Birthdays etc....alone and what did I get for it. I felt like a closet freak since he could not publicly socialize with me. I cried myself to sleep many a night. I got tired of being treated like a whore, while the wife got first class treatment, and I said "Self are you totally desperate or are you insane". I ended it and have not regretted it a day since. Take the advice from the guy who said Love yourself more and get your self a real life!....*p
Alan Profile
Alan answered
Very possible. It happens all the time. Maybe though she just yearns for a man like him. She see's a man happy, with being married who looks after things like a man should. Good to his partner, good with his kids. Helps out and provides.
It is what most women would want in a partner. It might be just his character she yearns. The perfect man and younger. Even better.
It's not clear whether you are asking as the Older Woman or the Married Man but I suppose the answer would do either way.
The only thing I would add, is if for some reason something came of this. That the man left his wife and and maybe kids. There is every chance he would leave this new woman just as easy.

Hope this helps.
maria cauilan Profile
maria cauilan answered
First ask yourself how could you imagine to be with a married man? And all known that's a sin in the eyes of god. You better find a single man than having a relationship with a married man! You can't have him unless he is very willing to divorce his wife .. Otherwise you will never had a peace of mind ever having a relationship with a married man!
Mrs Ellis Profile
Mrs Ellis answered
It is very possible but very wrong. He is married do you not respect that fact. Maybe someone should do that to you so you can know what it feels like to have a home broken by lust.

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