My Boyfriend Accuses Me Of Cheating A Lot, Does That Mean That He Is?

32 Answers

Deemarcas Day Profile
Deemarcas Day answered
As a general rule, the guilty dog barks first.  I've seen this play out personally and with several other couples.  The more possessive a man is, the more unfounded accusations he makes of you, the more he has to hide.  Dated a man who freaked out every time my phone rang, then when I was out of town, he had company and didn't try to hide it.  I was already fed up with the possessiveness and was relieved to learn this for an easy and legitimate excuse out of the relationship.  Over a year later, he is still  wallowing in the misery he caused himself and I don't have to listen to his tirades any longer.  A male co-worker was the same way with his wife, didn't want her to lose weight, etc. And what do you know, but he's having an affair with a newer co-worker.  So, whether or not he is guilty, his behavior isn't doing you any good.  You deserve someone who trusts you, so my advice is to bail.  The younger you are, the quicker time works to heal the wounds.  Tell him you can't spend your precious time always defending yourself.  He will try to get into your head and make you feel guilty, but don't listen.  This is only a way to try to control you.  You know your heart and you have been a good girlfriend and you deserve a mate who appreciates you for your good qualities. 
emma danish Profile
emma danish answered
It could be possible this guy is very insecure about life maybe thinks your to good to be true that good things for him are always taken away from him , this is not just insecurities also jealousy confront him at the right time to talk not argue explain you will be there for him but this can't go on and if there's anything he should be telling you that this is the time to do so because things can't go on like this its not a healthy relationship and that your not prepared to account for your every move as this will only drive you apart good luck n take care
Nancy Araujo Profile
Nancy Araujo answered
In my own experience, my ex constantly accused me and he never had any reason to suspect me because I never did anything to betray him.  Before long I was hearing word on the street that he was stepping out with another female that I knew slightly.  He kept accusing and fighting with me because it gave him an excuse to leave when we argued then he could go meet up with her and also it eased his own guilty conscience to think that if I was doing it too, he was justified and not such a bad guy afterall.  I had to run away to another state to get away from him in the end, it was one of the worse times of my life as he was also physically abusive and I was anxious and in fear all the time.  If he's always accusing you and it's totally unfounded, I would watch for the other signs....picking fights, leaving suddenly, staying out all night, being short or impatient with you, dressing up or differently, showering more often and wearing cologne all of a sudden....just to name a few.  I hope he's not but if he is, it's not your fault and you deserve better.
indian gal Profile
indian gal answered
He is only accusing you because he is cheating himself I had a boyfriend who was constantly accusing me of cheating and I wasn't, but then I found out he was cheating on me. I dumbed him on the spot when I caught him red handed, do you really want to be in relationship where the trust is only one sided. You need to have a good think about this do you really want to be with someone who is always accusing and saying mean things to you that is mental torture.  Hope this helps.
Rena Chisholm Profile
Rena Chisholm answered
 Don't think anyone could say for sure that he is, would have to catch him in the act to be certain, but it can be an indicator.
My ex used to accuse me all the time when we were married. I saw him years later after we were divorced and for some reason,"maybe he needed to unload", I don't know, but he brought the subject up and just came out and told me that I was right concerning the reason for his accusations. Said that he had a guilty conscience and that is why he accused me so often. I suppose he was afraid I was going to find out and do the same to him, maybe.
But don't go on my experience. All men are not like that. He could just be feeling insecure.
There are a few signs of cheating. Just keep your eyes wide open and if he is, you will find out,"if you really want to know".
nettie Profile
nettie answered
I'm a firm believer of the fact that one that does not trust another,then they are not trust worthy themselves.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Has your boyfriend been cheated on before> maybe he is worried it will happen again>>
Mouse or Nette Profile
Mouse or Nette answered
He accuses you of cheating and you aren't.. Remember these words.. No one watches their back like a thief..   
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
The alcoholism can have something to do with the accusations, but more likely, this is a result of both insecurity and his own behavior (past or current cheating).  Have you had some discussions with him, or are you able to?

Communication is the first stop on this road that an be very destructive to you and to the relationship.  If you choose to have a discussion, try to understand his fears that underlie his accusations.  Are there specific behaviors or actions that may lead him to believe this?  Examine them and discuss them frankly.  If there are instances of him having been cheated on is the past with others, is he projecting these to you and your relationship?  Can you help differentiate yourself from that/those persons through examples where you have acted in trustworthy ways.

Also, do take time to explain the damage his accusations are doing to you. He needs to be aware of the destructiveness of those false accusations. Ultimately, the problem lies with your partner, not you.  He will need to come to terms with his own insecurities, and partners are not the ones who can do this for others.  Counseling would be one option whereby you and your partner can discover and address his fears and the impact on your relationship, and together, work out some agreements as to how to manage the situation, and perhaps address underlying issues, such as the alcoholism.  People are irrational thinkers when they are under the influence of alcohol...  Meanwhile, take good care of yourself, knowing you cannot change him.  Act with integrity and be trustworthy, but do not allow his insecurity or unjustified fears to control or manipulate you, however unintentional they might be on his part.  To truly be able to love someone, we must first trust them.  If he is unable to trust you, he is also unable to truly love you (even if he "needs" you or stays in the relationship).  I wish you the best.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
The faults we find in others are the faults of which we are ourselves guilty.  Carl jung said something like that, and I find it to be true in many instances, including my own.  Whenever I find fault in someone else, I examine myself before taking it too far.  He's feeling guilty for the past, or quite possibly there are other instances of him cheating which he hasn't told you about.  He probably feels that you'd be justified in cheating, so he expects you to do it.  But the bottom line is, don't put up with his BS.  My current boyfriend (also alcoholic)was unrealistically jealous the first couple of months we were together, and I dumped his you-know-what.  But love brought us back together and he learned his lesson.
Chelsea Pfeifer Profile
Chelsea Pfeifer answered
Haven't you ever heard the saying the one that is accusing is the one that is guilty. So it just very well maybe.
Krystal DeLaRosa Profile
If she has no reason to think you're cheating but still accuses you, she is either cheating or very insecure. You should talk to her and reassure her that you have never even thought of cheating.
Joy Coffel Profile
Joy Coffel answered
If he is accusing you then more then likely he is the 1 who is cheating.I'm getting a divorce for that reason.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I cheated and now constantly accuse my husband of cheating on me even though I know he never will.....I know it just my guilty conscience talking!
kanta sutton Profile
kanta sutton answered
It maybe a guilt trip. Have a sit down with him and tell him your not cheating and if he has something to tell you. Turn the tables round. Maybe he is very protective of you and does not want to loose you. Have a talk
hannah. Profile
hannah. answered
No, but that does mean that he doesnt trust you, he must feel insecure. And you shouldnt be accused, thats not right.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
This happens to me as well. And she keeps saying 'if you find someone else just say so and stop cheating'. I am so fed up and tell her 'Yes I will say so if I do so don't you worry'.

I don't know what to do with her insecurity... Really drives me crazy.
Kristi W Profile
Kristi W answered
It could be that she is guilty, so you must be too.It could also be insecurities, maybe she has trust issues from a past relationship. You should really try to talk to her about it.
alishia gaines Profile
alishia gaines answered
Sometime when people do that that dose mean there cheating on and you know you are not cheating don't worry about it .
Cara Marks Profile
Cara Marks answered
I think your boyfriend is just worried about you and say that if you were cheating on him that you would tell him.
angie garza Profile
angie garza answered
I got caught talking to my ex husband we remained friend after our divorce I needed to talk to someone but I had no temptations doing anything with my ex-husband  my boyfriend put tape recorder under the seat of car he heard our conversation he went mad a year.my boyfriend confessed to me later my boyfriend cheated on me with his co-worker
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Not that means he really loves you and he doesn't want to lose you.
thanked the writer.
  gonzalez
gonzalez commented
What it really means is that he doesn't trust you. Every time he says that you are cheating on him means that he has doubts if you really like him
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I had girls cheat on me and not accuse me of anything?.I have had relationships that sex drops off completely.of course a guy thinks somethings up when the well runs dry.usually is
Cat Valentine Profile
Cat Valentine answered
I'm not a expert but take a lot of advice from others. Choose the one you think will not break the relationship or start any fighting
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I am 18 and my boyfriend always accuses me of cheating and I'm not! I have explained how he needs to stop accusing me and how it makes me feel and how its stressing me out and ruining our relationship. He still does. Should I stay with him? I love him and he loves me.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Not necessarily. Sometimes your boyfriend might have trust issues. Or maybe you'll been down that road in the past where things wasn't honest. But him not trusting is not a good sign. Usually when they don't trust you the relationship don't last long.

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