I Am Obsessed With My Ex-Boyfriend. How Can I Stop It?


9 Answers

Oscar De La Huerte Profile
Getting over an ex can be pretty tough. Relationships invoke a lot of emotions and feelings, and shedding them overnight when a relationship comes to an end is impossible.

In my opinion, the best way to get over an ex-boyfriend and break that cycle of 'obsession' is by following these steps:

  1. Give it time
  2. Keep some distance
  3. Address your feelings
  4. Talk with friends
  5. Get rid of your memories
  6. Keep busy
  7. Find something else that makes you happy
How to get over an ex-boyfriend

Getting over someone you've been romantically involved with isn't meant to be easy. Good relationships are based on strong emotions, bonds, and feelings. These aren't things you can just switch on and off like a light bulb.

Putting someone you once cared for behind you is extremely hard, which is why I recommend taking a structured approach.

Here are 7 steps that will guarantee he becomes history faster than those UGG boots everyone was wearing last year.

  • Give it time- Healing takes time. Just as you avoid touching a graze on your knee when you fall, getting over your feelings means going through a period of pain. Don't rush things and keep focused on the fact that there is a way through.
  • Keep some distance- Don't hang out in places he's likely to turn up at, don't try and move on to being 'just friends' too quickly. Space between the two of you will help things cool down a bit.
  • Address you feelings- There's nothing worse than pretending everything is fine when it blatantly isn't. It may sound like a line used on an AA pamphlet, but admitting there is a problem is the first step.
  • Talk with friends- It's in times of hardship that you find out who your true friends are. Having a night out with the girls might sound a little 'Sex and the City', but there's really nothing like friends (and Cosmos) to get over a guy.
  • Get rid of your memories- Burning his favorite sweater that he left at your house can be cathartic. Take a big box and fill it with all the things that remind you of him. Then nuke them. You'll feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you'll also have a great bonfire to roast marshmallows on too.
  • Keep busy- Sitting around the house watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory isn't going to get you anywhere (especially considering Penny and Lenard's on-off relationship!). Get out of the house and keep busy. This will take your mind off him, and will also help you realize there are so many more things in life to get excited about. Going to the gym can be a great way to get over a guy: It keeps you fit, introduces a routine, and you're also more likely to meet a tall Swedish guy with a hot toned body and abs like Jesus.
  • Find something else that makes you happy- The biggest mistake that girls make is to jump into the another relationship right after they've broken up with someone. Moving on should only happen when you're emotionally and physically ready for it. When you are, don't hesitate. You deserve to be happy, so if someone catches your eye, don't be afraid to explore your options.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My advice?  Don't hold yourself back from thinking about him. If you smother yourself saying ,"I got to stop thinking about him!" it will just hurt more and more. Let the thoughts come.

I know that it hurts a lot right now (trust me, I know) but it will get better. I promise.
Mark Westbrook Profile
Mark Westbrook answered
When you say obsessed do you mean you think about him a lot or do you mean that you like following him everywhere and stalk him?

It is often difficult when we break up with someone, whether we do it or they do it to say goodbye to the relationship. Particularly because of the way that we are made to feel by the relationship, and we want that back, badly.

So what can we do? Well, stop seeing them. Remove photographs and all signs of him. Try not to see him, instead agree to be friends in the future, when you've had some mourning time (your relationship has died, you need to treat it with the same respect).

You can be friends later.

Find something to fill your time, work, exercise, friends, a combination of them, whatever it is, you need to find something not someone else to focus upon.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Getting over someone you love is very time consuming and almost everyone finds it very difficult.

However, at a certain point in your life, after the mourning period, you will realize that life goes on.

This happens, and people pull apart. We just have to deal with it and move on. It's all experience in the end that makes us stronger.

Yes, you've been hurt, and you want to go back in time and not change anything. But in reality, this is impossible. Sooner or later, you'll find someone else to obsess over.
Candy-Dice Starr Profile
Look at google 10 easy steps to get over an ex boyfriend - it is helping me but it will take time honey, so keep your head up and stay strong!
olapeju bankole Profile
olapeju bankole answered
Think about the most painful thing he did to you when you were together and develop dislike and hatred through it, maintain the sadness you experienced then and accept not to forgive him for now until you see somebody you love and care for who in turn cares and loves you.

If then you remove this hatred from your mind, you will not like and think of him again.

Occupy your mind with another beautiful things like exercise, reading, dancing and many more. One word: Develop dislike for him.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Having the same problem

Got in touch with my high school boyfriend recently after many, many years - a little chat flirting, a little reminiscing about our sexual activities.

Had to stop getting e-mails from him because they were increasingly lewd and disturbing.

Only problem is that now I can't get him out of my head - apparently we have some unfinished business but we are now both married to other people.

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