I Am Married And I Have Been Kissing Another Man At Work For About 5 Months. I Have Now Stopped It Altogether. We Also Felt Each Other Up On A Few Occasions. The Guilt Is Killing Me. What Can I Do?

3 Answers

Mark Westbrook Profile
Mark Westbrook answered
The solution is all in your final sentence. The guilt is killing you, you desperately want to relieve your guilt and now you are wondering whether you should tell your husband, so that you can relieve yourself of some of that personally poisoning guilt. The answer is NO. You've cheated on your husband and that was your choice, there is obviously something wrong with you and the relationship, because happy, fulfilled people in great relationships do not feel the need or even think about cheating on their partners.

Whatever you did, make your mind up. Leave your husband or leave this man, you cannot possibly have both, that's very greedy. It will also end up killing your relationship with your husband, even if you think it's good for you.

Don't tell your husband, that's the most selfish thing possible, it's nonsense to think that the honesty will do him any good at all, it will destroy him inside and you will just make yourself feel better at his expense.

Why do you feel guilty? Think about that? You feel guilty because you like what you are doing and you know it is wrong and you are not strong enough to do the right thing.
Gillian Smith Profile
Gillian Smith answered
If you're feeling guilty you should leave it now. You've stopped whatever it was you were doing and you regret it so leave in the past.

Provided that it really is over you should concentrate now on your marriage and your husband because you could have wrecked your marriage as could the other man and so far you haven't.
People do make mistakes and do things they regret it's part of being human as is the feeling of guilt.
Keep away from any situations where you can be tempted to see this man outside of a working relationship and if need be tell him you regret what you did and don't intend to repeat your mistake ever again.
Hopefully this will fade into the past very soon and you will value your marriage a lot more now you realise you could have wrecked it.
thanked the writer.
wendy othman
wendy othman commented
This is exactly the advice i was looking for. I needed it reinforced in to me to stay away from this man and concentrate on my marriage, which is exactly what i want to do. I wont be telling my husband, it's not like i slept with this other man,but what i did was still way out of order and i wish i had never done it. Thanks for your advice and thanks for not advising me to leave my husband like the others have suggested.
Gillian Smith
Gillian Smith commented
Everyone is entitled to a mistake and forgiveness. Try to move on with your husband now and good luck.
Aamir Riaz Profile
Aamir Riaz answered
Well I have always been the strong advocate of being original and true to you at least. I am very much interested to know why you have started doing it on the first place. Are you not satisfied with your husband? Is there any deficiency in your sex life? The other reasons which I could guess are
1. You marriage could have been arranged.
2. You are now finding yourself attracted to the person you ever thought of being with.
3. Your husband may not be giving you enough time or regards in shape of making love on the time when you want it.

Many other reasons could be there. But still being original means to know the reason in actual, why have you started it.

You can not just start kissing some one or start feeling each other's body there are some requirement of passion which comes from the inside. If you really think he is the man you want to be with, and then decide now. You can not go on living a fake life assuming that you love your husband. Or if you want to go back, and then do you find the courage to tell it all to your husband. That requires for being original.

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