I have been seeing a woman off and on for 9 months now and during that time I am the only one who kisses but only am allowed to kiss her on her cheek. She said she doesn't kiss. Period. Is that normal?  She is 64 years old, widowed, has had numerous exes (former lovers) compared to me and has three grown daughters by different men. She doesn't kiss me even on the cheek and when asked why answers, "That's the way I am. Take it or leave it!" Forget about my trying to persuade her otherwise. I am lucky she allows me to even kiss her face.  Period.


4 Answers

John Doe Profile
John Doe answered

No, that's really not normal. Most women will at least kiss their guy on the first date! Have you asked her why she won't kiss you? 

Maybe she doesn't know how and you could teach her!? That could prove to be fun! Just talk to her, ask her what the problem is, then maybe you can help her fix her issues!

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DAMIEN BAKEN commented
The lady is 64 years old, widowed, has had many lovers, and has three grown daughters by 3 different men. She told me she doesn't kiss and when asked why answered, "That's just the way I am. Take it or leave it!" There is no persuading her otherwise.
DAMIEN BAKEN commented
That was before me though; not presently.
John Doe
John Doe commented
Oh I see, well if she has some phobia about kissing. If she does, maybe you can help her get past that but if not, and you want to be with her then you'll have to accept the "no kissing" thing!
Marta Catalano Profile
Marta Catalano answered

It doesn't sound really usual. It might be she has some fears or fobias but it's been a little while seeing that it's been more than 9 months. People might refuse to kiss for different reasons.

Usually it's  because they do not want to have that interaction with someone. Maybe they don't like them enough but they might also have fear. For example, people can be scared of kissing someone because they are afraid they're not good enough at doing it.

I think you've been waiting quite a long time now, so it is up to you. Obviously you don't have to force things, but you should really tell her that it is important for you and explain why. If this doesn't work and communicating honestly and with kindness, then you might think about letting go.

You shouldn't really beg affection by someone and this should come natural and spontaneous. This person doesn't seem to care too much about what you need or the fact that you might feel a certain way. If both of you cannot find a compromise and want different things, I suggest you to move on and find someone who can really appreciate you and be willing to kiss you and spend some quality time with you.

Best of luck!

Taylor Brookes Profile
Taylor Brookes answered

That's not that common, but it seems like she has been hurt - possibly quite badly - in the past and she is probably is afraid of getting hurt again. It is a little odd that she hasn't relaxed around you after 9 months, but who am I to judge? I don't really know what to suggest other than try to let her know that you won't hurt her. She needs to feel secure, and not be worried that you'll leave her suddenly without a reason. Good luck! I really hope things work out for you :)

Silent Base Profile
Silent Base answered

9 months?  Not normal at all. Talk to her about it, just be tactful. Tell her that you love her and that you would like to be more intimate and close.

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