Anonymous

Usually, I give my mates advice about their love relationships. However, when it comes to me, my advice seems to be failing, and I get more confused than anyone! How can I help myself?

3 Answers

Lily Bradic Profile
Lily Bradic answered

This really isn't that uncommon—I think most people find it easy to give advice, but it's much harder to live by it yourself!

If you're really finding it that difficult to help yourself, try imagining that you're helping a friend. What would you say to someone else in your position? Sometimes, just imagining it's somebody else's problem helps you to detach from it emotionally, and allows you to solve it more logically.

Confidence can play a big part in this, too. It's easy to tell someone to just talk their problems through, but when you're the one with the problem—and it's your partner you could be having a difficult conversation with—it's much easier to just avoid conflict.

The same goes for telling someone that you like them. Nobody likes laying their heart on the line and risking pain, even though it's usually worth the risk!

It is possible that you're having trouble helping yourself because the advice you usually give is useless, but that's probably not the case—your friends wouldn't listen to you if it was!

1 Person thanked the writer.
Muddy Mudkips
Muddy Mudkips commented
gosh this not only is a super sweet answer but it also had enough to make me cry. i dont normally cry!!! i guess i am going soft...... .....damn it..... im asking a question about this i cant help it!!
Adila Adila Profile
Adila Adila answered

Because my friend, it is easier to analyse another person's problems or situation than it is your own! You cannot see the drama unfolding in your own shoes, you need to step out of them and try someone else's?

Your advice seems to be failing why? Because you can't diagnose yourself, if it was that easy to find solutions on your own then we wouldn't need to go to anybody to talk to! That's why we have friends, they know you, they can understand you, they know more about you than you think you do! Why? Try watching a video of yourself and most people would say "Did I really do that"? , "Do I really talk like that"?. You can't feel because you are YOU, and you only see what people make you see. You work on other people, all your actions and decisions are influenced by others, nothing you do is on your own accord because you cannot see the damage you do.

Maybe you are not harsh enough? Be more brave and bold, take those risks and don't be easy on yourself! This is where your friends need to come in, to tell you whether this person is actually right for you, if they are seeing what you are seeing. Maybe they see something different? Ask them! And Good luck! Go out there and do what you have to, do not hesitate or wait around, wasting time will do you no favours.

Billy  Hayes Profile
Billy Hayes answered

Maybe the advice doesn't apply to the situation you're in. Either way, it's hard to "practice what you preach"

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