I'm 14 and a gay guy. I want to come out and I think I feel 'ready'. I have a few gay friends and it seems to be fine for them so I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on how exactly to do it, what to expect and what people will ask?


4 Answers

Barb Cala Profile
Barb Cala answered

At 14, you're probably still in the process of discovering who you are and what you want in life.  You're certainly not experienced enough in your own sexuality to know if you're "gay" or not.  There's no rush to decide at this age.  You might think your gay friends are fine .. But that doesn't have anything to do with your sexuality.  Just live your life and decide naturally at the time where you have more life's experience.

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

I don't have a good answer for you because I've never been in that situation. I don't find the need to announce my sexuality to the world. In any event, you should ask your gay friends about their experiences in this and see if they can offer you any hints. Good luck.

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Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
Thanks. You and I have had this conversation before on this topic. What is it with everyone wanting to talk about their sexuality? OMG. It's no one's business but your own.
Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
I think the word I'm struggling with here is discretion. There's not enough discretion used today. Everything has to be all out there, from the bathroom issue to the breastfeeding issue.

You would think women never breastfed before. Oh my gosh. What is wrong with thinking this is an intimate activity that you are sharing with your child? Using your discretion in this situation should not be a foreign concept, yet we have women all up in arms because they practically strip down and yet don't want anyone to look at them.

We probably have had trans people using the restroom, but it wasn't talked about. They just went in, did their business and left.

Discretion. Modesty. Discernment. These words need to be studied and utilized on a daily basis.
Jann Nikka
Jann Nikka commented
Totally agree 3.
Virginia Lou Profile
Virginia Lou answered

Dear Anon,

Here is a thought for you to play with, to ponder a bit...

In an ideal world, there would be no need for anyone to "out," we could all just be what we naturally are. So, why don't you just abide for a time, and see what plays out - in other words, are we coming closer to that ideal?

* * *

Meanwhile, do keep in mind that there is good research now and several fine books confirming that the GLBT communities contribute to society far beyond their numbers in literature, science, philosophy and the arts. They infuse a life-affirming, dynamic diversity into any culture.

And homophobia is an illness, just like any other phobia.

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

I found this site with a search.  I have no reason to join.

Look it over and see if it might be of use to you:

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