My Boyfriend Cheated On Me, Yet I Took Him Back Into My Life. I've Been Trying To Keep Our Relationship Alive, Staying Away From Fights And Conflicts. However He Is Always Putting Me In The Wrong By Making It Seem As If I Am Responsible For All The Faults! How Do I Stop This And Get Our Love Back, The Way It Was?

11 Answers

brittane blystone Profile
Honey..you don't see that: I believe in once a cheater always a cheater, and I will always live by that. You deserve way better than that, he is always going to put you in the wrong and make you feel like it's your fault and that you made him do that, but it's not. The only reason why he does that is because he knows that he did a wrong and hurtful thing and he is trying to bring you down so it makes him look like he has power. But it was not very good of you to take him back in the first place. I understand people deserve 2nd chances but when it comes to cheating I personally don't believe in them because he believes now that you took him back and everything's good and you don't want to let him go; and he in his mind believes that he can cheat on you again and you will take him back. So I think you should just get rid of him and find another guy who won't treat you like that, where a guy will think you're his world. You need a sweet caring guy like that honey, not a lying cheater like you have on your hands right now.
riddhi patel Profile
riddhi patel answered
I say that you don't deserve this at all. And just dump the guy. And find someone better who at least treats you better.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
First and foremost, don't ever let a guy make you think that every situation is your fault because its not. Guys mess up too! There not perfect! Bottom line is, people make mistakes, guys and girls....Maybe he blames you for everything to take the guilt off of him but that isn't right. Maybe the 2 of you aren't meant to be which is why these problems always occur! You shouldn't have to try to get the love back the way it was by yourself, he should help as well. Its a 50 50 situation. You need to ask him...Does he want this relationship to prosper, if yes, then lets work on what we need to work on, if not, then I'm sorry, maybe its just time to let go. But always remember this, its not always your fault...you may make mistakes sometimes, but all the time? No! Your human just like he is and you have feelings as well and he needs to realize it before its too late! Hope it works out for the best.
sally neill Profile
sally neill answered
I agree your boyfriend is obviously feeling guilty and trying to turn the situation around and lay the blame on you.

In regard to getting your relationship back to what it was, it was obviously not perfect if your boyfriend cheated on you. There are obviously problems within your relationship so you need to know why he cheated in the first place.

You need to know if it was a one-off which he totally regrets or if there is no remorse on his part, he will more than likely do it again as you have already forgiven him once before.

Although it's clear you love him, you cannot let him do whatever he pleases, you need to be strong and lay down the law, he must know he must never hurt you this way again, because once the trust in a relationship goes, the relationship is certainly heading for a break up.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Brittane.. Amen on that one sista! Once a cheater, always a cheater! Men who cheat always try to place blame on women, when it is them that causes all the drama. I've been in the same situation before. And believe me, it doesn't get any easier. You basically have 2 options. The first one is to stay with him, deal with it and do your own thing. Don't stress the fact that he likes to argue, or blame you for mishaps. If he sees that he isn't getting any fire out of you, he'll back off and things will get a little better.

The second option is to break off ties with him. There is obviously a reason he was your ex once. You took him back and you found that it is not working again. You do not have anything to lose. If you focus on yourself and making yourself happy, the rest will fall into place.
Gillian Smith Profile
Gillian Smith answered
Your boyfriend is trying to place the blame for everything that goes wrong on you to deflect from his own bad behaviour. These are common tactics to transfer the blame.
There's no point in you doing all the trying and letting him treat you like this.
You need to face him and tell him that you're not prepared to be treated like this and that he he should be doing a lot to mend this relationship.
It doesn't sound very hopeful to be honest.
Unless both of you try to get back to normal it just can't work.
Eventually you might have to accept that your relationship can't be mended and try to move on and find someone who is trustworthy and respects you because it doesn't sound as if your boyfriend is capable of either of these things.
Dana Kumar Profile
Dana Kumar answered
I do not think it's right to put all blame on you because in this kind of situation there are usually both sides wrong in some way. Both of you should try to work on your relationship and communicate with each other being open-minded and avoiding keeping on blaming somebody. Once you have decided to take him back and he agreed, so both of you should learn from that and not to do the same mistakes
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I am not at place to give you advice, my boyfriend has also cheated on me, but I think that my situation is a little worse.  I have a baby with him and I believe that while I was in the hospital recovering from giving birth to his daughter he was out with the girl he cheated on me with.  I know that I should follow what I preach, but I don't think you should be with a person that will not even take fault for what he did.  If you really love him I think you should just talk to him and let him know how you feel, ask him what lead him to cheat on you.  As for me, I think my boyfriend and I will try to get counseling, maybe it will work.  I hope all goes will for you with or without your boyfriend.
Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered


This relationship was never meant to be so no matter how hard you try, things wont ever change so best to cut your losses now and move on and this is a dead end street. He evidently doesn't feel the same way about you as you do him so time to move on. Good luck

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Hey girl
I know it is probably hard but if I were you I'd try to give him maybe a little kiss or hug when he least expects it just to let him know you love him sooo much!!!

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