Anonymous

I Have A Boyfriend But I Have A Crush On Someone Else. How Can I Overcome This Problem?

12 Answers

Aidan McCartney Profile
Aidan McCartney answered
There are a number of avenues you could pursue in relation to combating this problem, but first you need to ask yourself a couple of questions, and perhaps take some quiet introspection. Firstly and most importantly in this situation is do you truly love your boyfriend? If you do, then it's a no brainer; You should stay with him, why risk ruining what you have over what may be a fleeting infatuation. Just because you have a crush on someone else, doesn't necessarily mean you have to act on it. It is perfectly natural to find other people besides your boyfriend attractive, this isn't something you should feel guilty about, everyone does it.

So what are the options available? Well, if you love your boyfriend and want to stay with him, perhaps try injecting a bit of spice into your relationship; this doesn't have to be anything kinky, after all it may just be the initial spontaneity and excitement at the beginning of a relationship that you're pining for, as opposed to another person entirely. If you find that you don't love your boyfriend and that you would rather be with your crush instead, then break it off with him. This will minimise the pain and hurt caused in the long run, whereas if you have an affair then you can probably add feelings of humiliation and bitterness into the equation for him, and possibly guilt and self-loathing for you. If you want to be with someone else, then that's entirely up to you and no-one should judge you for that; staying with someone you don't want to be with will only foster resentment. Most importantly make sure you know what it is you want in yourself before taking any actions that you may later regret.
Gillian Smith Profile
Gillian Smith answered
It sounds as if you have a crush on someone other than your boyfriend and this often happens.
Sometimes the person you have a crush on is totally oblivious to how you feel and crushes are strange things!
Most of us, if we were honest ,might admit to having a 'crush' on someone at one time in our lives and the good news is that it usually goes away!
Crushes are difficult to explain - they usually just happen.
Best thing is, if you are really fond of your boyfriend and don't want to hurt him, is to distance yourself from the object of your crush. Try to avoid situations where your in sight of him.
Objects of crushes are often someone elses partner, have non of the attributes which we usually are attracted to and seldom does anything come of it.
Try to see all the good things that attracted you to your boyfriend in the first place. If you really have come to the point where you and your boyfriend aren't as happy as you were the crush won't solve that.
Try to keep busy and away from the other person because crushes really don't usually ever come to anything. You might look back on it soon and cringe!
thanked the writer.
Roonna Adder
Roonna Adder commented
Ok i just have to say, i just had this i just got over this problem, it was quite easy. I just forgot about the other boy and foucusted on my boyfriend!!
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
I am with my boyfriend from 5 years, but from two years i traveled to another country to work..I'm really in love with him, & I always look for my vacations to go & see him, and all my firends admit that I'm the most honest & fidel person they know bcause I've never ever cheated on him.but yesterday we went out & one friend brought his friend& suddenly I felt that we r having eye contacts, smiling o each other..I really had a crash on him & he said that he is very attracted to me,,,what to do????
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
Easier said than done hey, i have been with my boyfriend for about 6 years now, but the guy i have a crush on is a guy i've known and liked for about 8years. I will definately take your advice and i hope it helps get over this guy for GOOD!
patricia wilson Profile
patricia wilson answered
If you like this person and think about him while your with your boyfriend then it really isn't fair to him. I've felt like this before and I just waited it out and it ended up very badly with me losing them both. If you think about him all the time then break up with your boyfriend and be with him. Its up to you, girl!!!
Jordan Serventi Profile
Jordan Serventi answered
If you really want your crush to ask you out you would have to break up with your boyfriend but if you love your boyfriend and can't break up with him I have to say forget about your crush
haaalllaayyy early Profile
If you like your bf more then try to find the faults in the other guy and see whats bad about him.. If you like the other guy more then slowly stop talking to your bf and he will eventually break up with you!! Or just break up with him
Johnny D Profile
Johnny D answered
Just be honest with him and tell him you just don't feel the same in your heart as you use to..  He might not like it but at least you can be happy knowing you were honest.
Asterea San Goh Profile
Asterea San Goh answered

Don't act out of confusion. Crushes may be just crushes, and there may be no chemistry or affinity, and may not work out in the end.
So don't give up a blooming relationship for another crush, unless if your relationship has withered.

Lenalee Lee Profile
Lenalee Lee answered
I think you should just try to forget about the guy that you have a crush on. Or if you don't want to, then, why don't you tell your boyfriend about it. Or you could tell your parents about your problem now, so that they can help you.
Renee Collins Profile
Renee Collins answered
Well, first off don't tell him over the phone or in a letter. He deserves a face-to-face explanation. Second, be HONEST with him. Be willing to answer any and all questions he may and will have. But just speak from your heart and be truthful with your explanation. Explain to him that you are becoming interested in someone else and it wouldn't be fair to him or yourself if you didn't explore these feelings. Tell him you care about him and he deserves someone that will give their WHOLE heart to him. Don't give him the "Let's still be friends" line because odds are he does not want to hear that and quite possibly will not want to remain friends because it will be too hard. Just make sure you are sincere but straight to the point. Good luck to you.
Jojo A. Profile
Jojo A. answered

hate to say it, but break up with the boyfriend. What would your advise be to me? Same question, if you live with something in a dishonest way, it will come to haunt you. Its impossible to want someone else and give your best self to the one you are with in an honest way. Solve it by being on your own till you know what your own priorities are.

Kitty Grant Profile
Kitty Grant answered
Does your crush like you back? If so, break up with your boyfriend and go for the crush. If not, Stay with the boyfriend. If the boyfriend treats you badly or anything like that, get away from him...  Good luck! <3
Sarah Kauffman Profile
Sarah Kauffman answered
That is normal. You should go for the one you like the most. If it happens not to be your bf then find out if the other guy likes you and if he does go for it. If it is the other guy that you like more and he likes you dump the bf but be nice bout it and tell him why and tell him that you still want to be friends with him. Hope that help you out.

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