Anonymous

My daughter stopped calling me daddy now that her real father is in her life and it just really hurts me because I did everything for her since she was 3 she's 15 now. I love her?

8

8 Answers

Didge Doo Profile
Didge Doo answered

My sympathy to you, Anonymous. It's a dreadful situation, especially for your daughter. Fifteen is a difficult age but to face something like this at such a time can be devastating.

She's going to have to be handled gently. I know you feel bad but you have the maturity to see the big picture and to be there for her when she needs it. She's still a kid and will find it harder to cope.

Unfair? It probably feels that way but it's something that happens frequently in today's higgledy-piggledy relationships. I hope it works out well for all of you.

Barb Cala Profile
Barb Cala answered

What she calls you isn't important.  Keeping open lines of communication and appreciating the stages of life she will be going through is much better.  Be happy for her that she has found another person to love.  That's what parenting is all about .. Wanting the best for our kids no matter what.

Lard Ass Profile
Lard Ass answered

I remember being in this same situation as a child. I had a step father who was wonderful and my real father who I also loved dearly. I guarantee you she is confused, doesn't know what the "right" thing to do is. I didn't want to hurt my step dad's feelings, nor did I want to hurt my real dad's feelings by calling my step dad...dad. She loves you, she is in a hard place right now, just be the dad you've always been and understand...offer to talk about whatever she wants even her relationship with her "dad" without judgement....and you will find things will be just fine.

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

"I did everything for her since she was 3 she's 15 now. I love her."

Well, you apparently have done an excellent job---you have shown her what being "daddy" really means.

Please don't stop now.

You need to continue to be the "rock" that she can stand on while she deals with the fact that she has a biological parent that her existence is based on. She doesn't have a check list to refer to while she's coming to terms with her feelings about what she is going through.

She will need some time to work through this. Her biological father is the other 50% of her connection to the human race.  Support her as she works through her feelings.

Do this well and I am sure you will always be her "daddy."

(There may be a time and place that you can appropriately express your "hurt" about this to your daughter without guilting her and also reveal more of what being human means in real life.

(If I were in your shoes, I would talk to a professional counselor who can give you specific advice about how these issues tend to run their course as well as what to expect and what to do to help her deal with this.)

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

You can feel hurt all you want but don't you dare express it to her. She is a very confused and hurt lost child. Now don't take me wrong. You have been a great dad...... And she will remember that in the end but for now you got to let her have some closure with her biological father. This will effect her her whole life. Take this one like a man and do this for the CHILD that you love. You have been her daddy for the last 12 years. You will get through this.

Cookie Roma Profile
Cookie Roma answered

As a parent, I can believe this is very painful.  Thing is, she's 15.  This may take time................perhaps a lot of time.  No doubt she is navigating through the this and finding it difficult/confusing.

otis campbell Profile
otis campbell answered

Well i had a step daughter i supported from age two till fourteen what ruined it was my wifes sister. So i divorced her between several peoblems

Woof Woofy Profile
Woof Woofy answered

just tell her that you are her Father since you were there for her pretty much all her life. The other guy maybe the biological dad but he's not her Father since he wasn't there. but as everyone else has said, she's probably in a very difficult place right now and she may bounce back.

1 Person thanked the writer.
otis campbell
otis campbell commented
Hi skunky
Tom  Jackson
Tom Jackson commented
A natural, non-custodial male parent---even one who distances himself from his child for part of that child's life is still that child's "father."

Telling her that her biological father is not a "father" is only going to compromise her ability to sort this whole issue out for herself and adapt to what can be a confusing reality.

Answer Question

Anonymous