What Do You Say To Someone Who Has Lost A Loved One?

13 Answers

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
How to comfort someone who is grieving?

Losing someone is an extremely traumatic experience for anyone, whether it be someone they knew slightly or a loved one. But the loss of a loved one can be very hard on those left behind, especially if that loved one was a mother, father, sibling or spouse, although it is just as hard if it was any other loved one.

When speaking to someone who has lost a loved one, it is wise to remember to be careful in the way you say things, as you need to be comforting, but to be over the top can have a negative effect. This person will have continuously been told that people are sorry for their loss and even if it was an older person, there is no consolation for their loss.

Though in truth, the way you address someone who has lost a loved one, is different for each individual and depends on their personality. Whereas one person might prefer to not discuss the issue in an attempt to move on quickly, another may like to voice their concerns and talk through their feelings in a way to deal with them. Everyone is different.

So, What is the best thing to say to someone who lost a loved one?
It is also good to remember that the loss of a loved one may make individuals feel angry and they may take this out on the people around them by shouting and exhibiting other such behaviours.  There is no time limit on how long someone will grieve for and it is likely to be a long a difficult process, and any large events such as weddings, Thanksgiving and Birthdays are likely to be particularly painful. It is very hard for most people to talk to friends about their situation, Because they may not feel safe telling you or even wanting to talk about it. So, please be patient with them and if you can take what they say with a pinch of salt,  as it is likely they won't mean it.  Over time, the pain wont necessarily go away, but people learn to deal with the loss more efficiently.
Lily Moon Profile
Lily Moon answered
When I lost my father no one could say anything that was worth listening too.  The best thing in MY case was for people close to me to just listen to me, be there while I cried & didn't try to make me laugh.  My brother tried making light of the situation, it just infuriated me & my mother didn't help either & still till this day, she uses my dads death to try and get me to do things "go to school, your father is watching you & would be disappointed if you didn't go"  stuff like that.  I would suggest just being there for that person & try to make them as "comfortable" as they will allow you to.
Rev. Dr. Charles Rogers Profile
Having lost a grandson, and then two years later his father (my youngest son) I could not have made it through the pain and grief if it were not for my relationship with God. Granted, I am much older, but if you can learn early in life that we are the creation of God and that He loves us and watches over us you will begin to look at things much differently. We must also know that God is in control of everything and when our life on this earth is over we will know the answers for all things good and bad that happen in our life.
Instead of being angry with God when my son died, I began to thank him for all of the years that we had together and the love that we shared. It was when I put all of my faith in God, concerning my son, that I realized that He very possibly saved him from a painful and agonizing death had he lived. As it was God chose to take my son suddenly and nearly painlessly in just an instant.
In the Bible, before Jesus ascended up to Heaven, He told His disciples that He had to leave them but that He would send a comforter to them, and that comforter is the Holy Spirit. Through the Holy Spirit we (your friend) can find comfort for our (her) losses, knowledge in the things we don't understand, and security in knowing that God loves us.
Just always be there and pray for your friend. As her friend, you can call upon the Holy Spirit to give you the wisdom and words to say that will comfort your friend at those times when she really needs it.
God Bless you for being such a devout and concerned friend.
Cindy Thompson Profile
Cindy Thompson answered
Just being available to her when she wants to talk or just be with you. Don't worry about what you are going to say to her. Tell her you are there to listen if she wants to talk. If her parents just died, she is in a state of shock and the grieving process takes some time. Everyone grieves differently. Hope this has helped you. Peace
jordan hartley Profile
jordan hartley answered
My teachers mom died last week and when he read my friends paper he started crying because he was happy for the first time since she died. The note said I am really sorry for your loss. Your mother is watching over you and she would want you to remember the good times you had with her. The whole class is here for you. I can't even imagine the pain your going through right now, but what I do know is everything's going to be okay, it just takes time.(:
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I lost my mother when I was 16 and for me the only thing that made it better was time, but during the mean time try to keep her busy keeping her mind off it will make it a lot easier, and as her best friend I would try not to talk about your parents to much, I know when I would hear people talk about their mom at first it was really hard for me, so just try not to use the words mom and dad to much around her they will be sore words for a while and it will bring up the reminder that she doesn't have them anymore.
shannon murdoch Profile
shannon murdoch answered
If you need anyone ill be here for you don't worry you will be fine as long as you remember good times with them :) good luck xD
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
To be honest I am like you! I really love giving people hugs and I LOVE comforting them but I always feel awkward doing it or I am scared of rejection! Stupidity is, when My Grandad died I really wanted a hug but it had to be from the right person, for instance, this may sound crazy but the last person I wanted to talk to about it was my mum and so in front of her I acted really well and didn't show the fact my heart ached. I found better comfort in friends than in my family because I wanted comfort from someone completly differnet who was no relation to what had happened that would remind me of it... In the end I found the best thing was if I looked upset my friends would just chat to me and if I wanted to cry or talk about it, they were there to talk back or put their arm round me. Human touch is always a good comfort but the last thing people want to hear is ' It will be ok' because your not crying to hear that, you are crying because you know you have lost someone or something, but to have a big warm hug is the best remedie anyone could ever have!!!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I do not think you can say anything specific but just let them know that you are there for them if they need anything.  If you must say something don't say anything that could hurt them more then they are already hurting.
Chiquita Profile
Chiquita answered
If its recently be they be the shoulder he/she need to cry on.  Tell them everything will be ok and you give them your condolences.  I lose my father and I will out of my mind I was crying day and night it a lost and a hurt you can not imagine unless you went thru it.  Also tell them you care for them and your there for them.
lj rogers Profile
lj rogers answered
There in a happier and better place watching down with love and is waiting for you when your time comes
emily matlock Profile
emily matlock answered
There isn't really anything you can say to make them feel better. Just try and do your best, and hope that something might change. I guess that's all you can really do.

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