Why does my husband always treat me like I am no one special? Are all men this way? No talking, no dating, like room mates. Totally miserable after 20 years of marriage, and two kids. What's to look forward to? Death?!

10 Answers

Hilary Newton Profile
Hilary Newton answered
Treat yourself like you are special, take up some outside interests let him wonder where you are going etc,
thanked the writer.
Tony Newcastle
Tony Newcastle commented
Good ideas,Amandasam. Make him jealous,in a psychological way,so that he becomes more aware of his patent neglect of his wife.
Hilary Newton
Hilary Newton commented
Yes common sense often comes to late in life!
Megan Hon Profile
Megan Hon answered
I signs that he's abusing you, treating you like this.  You should tell him how you feel, if it gets worse, maybe you should get a divorce
thanked the writer.
Tammy Ridens
Tammy Ridens commented
No he never abuses me, or the kids...unless you call never speaking, and always being gone abuse. I have told him how I feel, and he says as far as he is concerned, there is nothing wrong. I can't take any more.
Joan Profile
Joan answered
You obviously are very conflicted about the situation with your husband.  You say the 2 of you tried counseling but he quit going.  I will suggest to you that you go back and go alone if you must.  Tell hubby that you intend to return to counseling because you want to make every attempt to save your marriage.  Ask him if he care enough to go with you.  If he will not, try going alone and see if it is helpful to you and maybe even your husband will come around if he see you are committed.  You seem to care for your husband but the situation is what is driving you away.  Death is certainly not the answer.  Try counseling for 3 months (alone if you must).  At the end of that time,  if no improvements have been made,  then it is time to consider divorce or a trial separation.  With a legal trial separation perhaps your husband will see that you mean business and will also see that he can no longer treat you like a renter or roommate or hired help.  Give the trial separation 3 months to see if he comes around.  At the end of that time, you will know if you wish to divorce or go back to living the way you have in the past.  You have begged & talked, now is the time time to take action.  Tell him you intend to make an appointment tomorrow with a counselor, ask if he will please go with you.  If not, go alone and begin the process.  He absolutely needs to know that you want the marriage to work but for it to work changes will have to be made.  You must draw a line in the sand and ask him to cross it with you.  If not, you must decide just how truly miserable you are.  It sounds as if you are miserable enough to think of suicide.  When you speak to your husband, be sure he understand how horribly unhappy you are.  If you take no measures to change things, things will not change.  Simple as that......
Belinda Nel Profile
Belinda Nel answered
Well, I am obviously very late with this response but think I may be of help.Everything about men are blue: Earphones (the way they listen), glasses (they way they see) and microphones (the way they speak). Everything about women are pink. When your husband speaks blue you are hearing the words in pink and vice-versa. Men survive on RESPECT and women survive on LOVE. When you speak to your husband, or about your husband, make sure it reflects an attitude of respect (even if you do not feel he deserves it) and he will eventually notice it. He needs to HEAR in blue although you are SPEAKING in pink. If you are a nagging type of person, STOP immediately, he is hearing DISRESPECT. It will take a while and HARD work and effort from you to break the normal way of doing and saying things. If you have influenced the kids to be disrespectful towards their daddy - you will need to put more effort in the reversal. Good luck!
Marlon Delchot Profile
Marlon Delchot answered
He has lack of interest and that is hurting you. Did you try asking him why he is treating you like that? You might also suggest you both visit a counselor to help you get back on the right track. And if you are a believer, have a talk with GOD. He wants marriages to last.
thanked the writer.
Tammy Ridens
Tammy Ridens commented
Your really a sweet man Delchot...a follower of God, awesome. Yes he is hurting me...I have had several talks with him, all fall on deaf ears. We went to a counselor once, he lost intrest and said it wasn't helping and we quit after two tries. I am a sunday school teacher believe it or not, but fall short of being close to Him anymore...still only human. Thanks for the feedback :)
High Sea Air Profile
High Sea Air answered
My heart  goes  out  to you  cause  here  I am  age 42  wishing  I had a  wife  and kids  who I can shower  with  love  and caring
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You should start him ignoring then he would realize your value in his life..this is really the good way but don't think about suicide ever...
april hayes Profile
april hayes answered
Ok here we go, talk to him and ask him whats going on? Then when you talk to him then see were it goes. It never hurts to ask that person.
tonia hewett Profile
tonia hewett answered
I would tell him you feel this way and that you deserve to feel special . Tell him there is a man out there that would love to fill his shoes and that will treat you like you are supposed to be treated . I left my husband of 8 years about 9 months ago and now I have the most wonderful man . He treats me like a real man should treat a woman . I learned that you can't stay just for kids sake because the kids would rather see you happy I Promise you this .

Answer Question

Anonymous