Should I Confront My Boyfriend?

9 Answers

Jose Profile
Jose answered
When somebody is lying, he always gets defensive.  The reason you are having arguments is because he has been doing stuff which he knows is not right that is why he is hiding it and lying about it. 
 
I can imagine how angry it makes you whenever you catch him lying.  Girl, look what is happening to you.  You are searching his voicemail.
I had a co-worker who misses work because she was spying on her husband.  It is so sad to be in that situation. 
 
I would suggest that you let reason and not emotion be your guide in this situation.  Cry if you want, but put value in yourself.  Do not put up with his lies.  Do not check his voicemail. It will only make you jealous.  If you are always jealous, you will get ugly.  Really.
 
Instead, keep yourself busy. Focus your attention on taking stock of yourself. Shop for new clothes.  Exercise daily.  Watch your diet and keep yourself healthy. Wear perfume always.  Make an effort to always look good even if he does not notice.  Dress for yourself. When you look good, you feel better. Whenever you feel like checking on him, DON'T.  Instead, get yourself busy.  Don't even let him know you are bothered.  You will get used to reacting this way.  
 
In time, you will see how things are with him.  Maybe he would have more girlfriends he is hiding from you.  Maybe it could get serious.  But it won't bother you.  Why?  Because you have become your own person. Look at you. You are beautiful and men are noticing you. You have kept yourself occupied he has to find his place in your life.  You are always busy to feel sorry for yourself or to spy on him.  You can walk away from this situation without feeling embarrassed that he cheated behind your back.  You don't feel like a small person.  You are a gorgeous woman who will walk out on him if he does not prove himself worthy.
 
Good luck.  Let me know what happens.  I'd like to hear the good news from you.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My view is that you simply can't trust him, you are scared to confront him because of the arguments, and he is lying when you do confront him. So, what is the good you're getting from this relationship? It's just not working out. I am of the mind set that you CANNOT change a man and make him who you want him to be. You accept him for who he is and love him for that, or you don't, and in that case you move on to another man that is better suited for you or take some time to think on your own about what you do want. So, my 2 cents says that whether he is cheating or not, you have had conversations about your insecurity about him having these contacts and he argues with you and continues them anyway, which shows no respect for your emotions. He doesn't sit down with you to discuss it or try other options to deal with it. He just keeps on doing what he's doing, meanwhile you are languishing and trying to figure out what to do by yourself, because he's no help. You can't trust him and are now reluctant to approach him. I say no. Just cut it off. You deserve better. No one should worry about whether their significant other is going to be mad when they address something that is a problem within the relationship and no one should have to go through the torment of not trusting their partner. I personally would NOT advise that you follow him and catch him in the act as another person said. Having been a trial domestic violence attorney for several years, even non-violent men often become defensive in that situation and may become violent. I think it's just a recipe for disaster and nothing good could come from it, except your finding out what you already know, I think.
Daniel Martinez Profile
Daniel Martinez answered
The main reason why a person has so meny girlfriends is that he continues to unfaithful to the person he is with and they find out and have to break it off or suffer the way you are suffering. He won't be faithful to you and you will have to deal with it or leave him. You have caught him in lies and you will continue to catch him in lies. CONFRONT HIM,  and you will catch him in another lie. You will be very unhappy if you continue those "many arguments about women in his life"
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
First of all, if you do not trust your bf, then I don't see any reasons why you should stay with him. Love is never enough to stay in a relationship. Trust must exist as well. If letting him go is not even an option for you, then yes, you should definitely confront him about it. He shouldn't get mad if he has nothing to hide. Also, YOU are his gf and therefore have EVERY right to question mysterious phone calls.
Alexis Chaney Profile
Alexis Chaney answered
Wow I would have done took the phone with me and asked him face to face shaking that phone in his face asking who is she..and you need to wonder is he cheating on you.! Why would another woman have his number and really wanting to see him...
Carla Calvin Profile
Carla Calvin answered
Man, you have gotten some exceptionally great answers to your question. I suggest you go back and read the following answers again and really think about what they are trying to say to you. No one seems to be being mean spirited...... Just trying to help you avoid some really serious future hurt and/or dangerous situations. Please take the time to reread the answers given by: Jeffandkim (very excellent advice...wish I could contact for advice in my own life situation) Jose313 (Thank you Jose for not only answering the question but also giving some great advice on how to survive and live her life productively while waiting for the guy to hang himself in a way that can not ever be blamed on her)Dannybooks(this is oh so very true) Logtaga33(Truth was spoken here but DO NOT expect to go to your boyfriend and discuss your rights for you will see you have none and have only again made him angry to imply he did anything wrong...this is where the danger for you would come in, so be careful) and last but not least...Gsharon710 (To finish one relationship before even thinking of starting another is advice that is worth more than gold. If your boyfriend followed this advise would you still have the difficulties in the relationship that I sure he calls "YOUR PROBLEMS"??) Think well on all these things and remember God made you a wonderful unique individual...you deserve love, honor and respect without feeling like you have to beg someone for them or constantly remind them these ARE your God given rights as a living breathing human. Let us know how you are doing...people do care...Best of luck and prayers for strength.....
Sharon Profile
Sharon answered
Can you say: Freedom!  Don't spend your life letting another, especially a boyfriend, control your emotions and upsets in your life. If he really cared he would not do things that upset and threaten your relationship. Sometimes it is hard to move on from someone we care about, but you will find that being able to see who else the world has to offer is wonderful. I always tell my friends or husband, everyone deserves to be happy, and if you are not happy with me, go with the one that does make you happy, and do it without involvement with me so you can be honest with her. Wishing you well with your situation.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You can't really argue about women in his past because you weren't even thought of then but I understand your concern..tell him about and how bad it makes you feel tell him that you do trust him you just don't want any one to mess up your relationship talk about things especially trustt and don't hold anything back and see what happens from theree...keep me postedd I would love to know what happens

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