How Do I Get Over The Fact That My Boyfriend Cheated On Me With A Much Younger Woman?


6 Answers

Kathryn Wright Profile
Kathryn Wright answered
How can I get over the fact my boyfriend cheated?

As you have said that you are still with your boyfriend, you must love him a great deal and want to work through the fact that you are struggling to trust him. As you do love him so much, it is also understandable that you still feel anger and jealousy, if not I would presume that you no longer cared for him. However, the fact that you even describe yourself as 'obsessed' by the huge age difference, means that you need to deal with these issues if your relationship if ever truly going to be back on track and move on.

Whenever someone cheats, their partner always feels like there is something wrong with them or that they are lacking something and that is why their partner cheated. That is just not true! People cheat for all sorts of reasons all their own and it has nothing to do with not getting what they want from their partner. They might be unhappy in the relationship and be looking for ways to finish it, but the blame for this can't be attributed to the innocent party. They cheat because they are insecure, bored, angry, or just greedy, but it is not because of you and what you do. Normally if an affair leads to a break up, if both parties are honest, there were probably many issues with the relationship, and the fact that someone else came along and presented a different opportunity, was just a case of timing, chances are at another time, she wouldn't have even registered on his radar.

I love him but I dont trust him after he cheated with a younger woman?

Does it really matter that she is younger?  Isn't the issue more that he cheated?  Full stop.  Maybe getting hung up on this one fact so that you feel you are justified in being annoyed?  You are justified, totally.  It is possible that it just happened to be a younger woman, as your husband said it has nothing to do with age. Would you be comfortable if he cheated on you with an older woman? I think that would be really upset. You were 33, which is still young! I don't think your husband cheated on you because he wanted a younger girl. It can be anyone. If you are not bothered with the cheating, then it definitely possible that you could move on from this.

You could go to counselling together so that he could explain what it is that drove him to have the affair and you could learn together how he can help rebuild your trust in him, as this is something he needs to deal with too.  You are already doing what you can to cope day to day.  If you don't deal with this issue now, it will eat away at your relationship from the inside out.

If you are not sure if your spouse is cheating, take a look at our short video on 7 Signs that your Spouse is Cheating!

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Hi, I am sorry that your boyfriend cheated on you with a younger woman. And I can understand your feeling very well, believe me! But I think it may just happened tobe a younger woman, as your husband said it has nothing to do with age. Would you be comfortable if he cheated on you with an older woman? I think that would be really upset. You were 33, which is still young! I don't think your husband cheated on you because he wanted a younger girl. It can be anyone. If you are not bothered with the cheating, then I think its not a problem any more for you.

Be more confident, thirties is a beautiful and sexy age for woman. Forget the past and enjoy this moment!
Sylvia Cisneros Profile
Sylvia Cisneros answered
If you don't let it go it will ruin your relationship. Come to terms with it. If you can't do that, then you need to end the relationship. My ex-husband cheated on me, it wasn't with someone younger but it was with someone I absolutely despised and he knew it. He did it just to hurt me and it worked. I couldn't look past it and that among other reasons is why I ended our marriage. I wish you lots of luck and hope you work it out.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous commented
Thank u for your advice! I realize that I am just hurt,and need to get over the cheating factor.It is hard,but I really love my boyfriend and want to make this relationship work!
Robyn Rothman Profile
Robyn Rothman answered
After 3 years, you have to let go of it. If you are still stewing over it after that length of time, I don't think you trust him as you say you do. Keep yourself busy, or get some help, but whatever you do, don't download any software that will allow you access to his IMs and e mails when he gets a computer. If you were to do that, it would prove beyond a doubt that you still don't trust him. If you forgive him, but refuse to forget about it, there's a real problem with your relationship.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous commented
well i'm 27. and when i was 24 he was 27, and he cheated on me with a 37 year old woman. if that's what happened, i would go to counseling. it seems like he respects you, treats you well and needs you in his life. my ex hit me, stole from me, put my life in jeopardy, messed with my emotionas and my mental and slept around with A FEW DOZEN women. five years of that, and i was really messed up afterward. i never left him because i was about the lowest thing under the gutter--numb, ANGRY AS THE DEVIL and lost. i think that YOU have something worth fighting for. it could be a lot worse. pray about it too. that's the only thing that gets me through. i have a tremendous amount of pain on my mind sometimes.
chet freemon Profile
chet freemon answered
One thing you can do is down load software that will advise you of his I'm's and emails. I suggested it to a friend, who caught his wife with over 70 pages of text to some guy.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous commented
He doesn't own a computer yet,and besides he is living and working abroad for the time being!I just want adv ice on how to get over the age problem!
Robyn Rothman
Robyn Rothman commented
Spying on him is the worst thing she could do. It would definitely show she doesn't trust him even though she says she does.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Hi there..

This is very complicated. It depends actually..Come on all, don't simply post things that can make others real for once.

Okay. I'm a single lady, only 24 years old but considered as successful in my life...earning
quite a high income..quite attractive...well, I'm well established.

Then, I met this guy, he's 37 and married with 4 kids. He got a " not-so-bad' looking wife.
But just because we spend our time a lot together as we're working together, things end up being
very steamy and in the end, our relationship got really emotional. The feelings are soo great
that we end up having sex..a really good one ( the best I have which makes me crazy )..
And he's  a superb responsible guy...pays for nearly everything...we even have a house together..
This has been going on like..3 years now?

And guess what, he still goes home to his wife but only once a week. Be a responsible father to
his kids, and still manage to make his wife go crazy with him.

Now tell me, you really believe its not the age thingy? Think again.

" Honest Lady "

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