I am currently in a similar situation with my partner of 2 years. My advice to all of you would be to talk to your partner and tell him how his behaviour makes you feel. Do it in a way where you are not accusing him, you are simply expressing how it affects you. If he loves you, he wont be happy that his actions are hurting you, and you should see a noticeable improvement in his behaviour. If he doesnt do anything about it, then you need to ask yourself what you are willing to put up with. My partners first reaction when I confronted him about a colleague he works with was "well she's my friend, if you don't like it, then f*** off". So I packed my bags and walked out of his house. He followed me out to my car and we sat down and talked about it in a bit more depth and he tried to convince me that there was no attraction there and he reminded me of all the reasons he is with me. 2 months later and I still intensly dislike this girl, and they are still friends, but he has stopped talking to her outside of work, and has agreed that when he leaves the company he currently works for, he is willing to drop the friendship if I still feel the same way. It's not easy to ignore jealous emotions, especially when every inch of you wants to get angry, but something I have found helpful is to give my 2 best friends a list of reasons why he wouldnt cheat on me or hurt me, and every time I phone them up acting all paranoid or bringing up something he has done, they use reasons off that list to counter all of my crazy idea's. Jealousy is often linked to insecurity and lack of confidence, but make sure you don't let your man walk all over you, if he isn't willing to compromise or even listen to your side, then walk away. Goodluck to you all, jealousy only holds you down as long as you let it =)
Your jealous..So what. It means you love him and care about him. I wouldn't worry too much. If you no he wont cheat on you and you no he loves you then just get on with it. Most boys actually don't go for the 'fantasy' girl. They never turn out to be as perfect as their cover. Boys look for a personality. A person to love and hold. Have more confidence, it will show on the outside. The more confident you appear the more your boyfriend will appreciate you for loving yourself for who you are. It will also make him realise the many reasons why he chose you. Don't worry about other girls. And always remind yourself, your bf's with you not them. If he ditches you for them then he isn't worth it.
Just remember that you have one thing those other girls will never have, and that's him. Always think to yourself that of all those girls he could like, he wanted to be with you, and that's something no one can take away.
I can understand how you feel, but at the end of the day, if you were to talk to good looking boys (as friends) I expect he will feel the same as you, and I know what you mean about thinking other girls are prettier than you, but just to make you feel better which works for me, is that normally I don't wear a lot of make up or nice clothes cause I like to be myself and I don't like people getting too use to me wearing make up, I get paranoid sometimes like when my boyfriend looks at other girls I think are really pretty. So to make myself feel better, I like to buy a new outfit, put make up on, do my hair, and supprise my boyfriend then walk past other girls and not worry about a thing cause I feel good about myself !, just remember, jealously means you do love and care about him and that no one will ever love him as much as you do and that you have got a great relationship that NO ONE can spoil, hope this has helped .. :) xxx
You have to learn to trust your man...and you should tell him how this whole thing makes you feel. No need to feel insecure your loves you!
Hey, I have the same problem with me and my bf right now...I love him to death, and I trust him with everything BUT girls...maybe its because I am insecure about myself but if you think that you are being reasonable with getting jealous then I think its ok...because it shows that you care enough to bring it to their attention so they guy wont do it again. If I were you, I would try to brush it off my shoulders and just tell him that you have a problem with whatever you have a problem with it. Don't get mad or pissed off or be dramatic about it..get a kind of "whatever" attitude about the situation..things will go a lot smoother, trust me:) my bf got a phone call from his ex gf, and I started thinking bad things about him, assuming that he has been up to no good..stuff that can really cause a dent in a relationship...but he calmed me down when he saw that I was looking like I was thinking too much about it. He told me he didn want ne other girl but me and that he loved me more than ever and that the girl just really likes him. So if our guy talks to other girls..I would be cautious of it and question him occasionally about how close they are to him..and if girls talk to him , then just compliment yourself on finding a good catch of a bf:) Also, if your bf loves you or cares about you to any degree..he will listen and hear you out about the problems you have with him..and he WILL try to fix them...if he doesnt care what happens..then hes not worth your time or worry.
I might like to add, stress and counter on a few misleading points regarding this question.
1) Half the world is female, it is unrealistic to expect your boy to cut off talking to half the world.
2) If you really do expect him to stop talking to girls just because he's in a relationship with you, you're being an idiot.
3) If you DO tell him that to stop talking to girls, you're being a jerk.
4)Also, I'd like to mention that a relationship is based on trust. And if you don't love him, want him to be with you and want to be with him, then please, trust him.
5)It's okay to be insecure, but not okay to let insecurity run your life and ruin your relationship.
Thumbs up if you think if you think this answer has zero BS =) peace =)
Just b/c he talks 2 other girls doesn't mean he doesn't luv you girl just as long as you know at the end of the day he's coming home to what he know he belongs to that's how I feel and like FAISY and K Babe said that also means you luv him and you can still talk 2 other boys and not be jealous but I'm not saying 2 let your trust gate down always b careful who you slip your trust to ! And if your jealous that means date you do luv him and you care and have feelings 4 him.
Possessiveness is the peak of love...and your being jealous is not wrong...so you r not wrong tell your guy to be just yours if he loves you.
My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me a couple of months ago and quickly started dating another girl. It only lasted about a week before he wanted me back because "I was the only one he wanted". We did get back together and I love him more than anything in this world. However, now that we are back together I am extremely nervous whenever other girls talk to him..and slightly jealous. I don't want this to push us apart because loosing him was horrible. He told me that it would never happen again and that he wouldn't hurt me...but he told me that before it happened. I tried talking to him but he always says that it won't happen again and that I am the only one for him. Before everything happened I never cared that he talked to other girls or that they talked to him but now I feel clingy and I hate that. Please help....I don't have anyone else to talk to about this..
You're going to have to learn to trust him. If not, it will destroy your relationship, not to mention, drive you crazy in the process.
I go through the same thing with my boyfriend, but HELL NO if he were to tell me they were "eye candy" or anything like that I'd be pissed...
Jealousy is the WORST trait a person can have! It just broke up my boyfriend and I b/c he was so jealous and thought everyone wanted to sleep with me! First of all, jealousy is a sign of insecurity in a relationship. I would ask myself WHY you feel he is doing anything wrong. If you have confidence in yourself then you won't worry about him being with anyone else. Also, if he cheats on you then he really did not care to begin with so move on. People simply do not stray if they are happy!
My Boyfriend cheated in his past relationship. I was his best friend at the time so I knew what he was up to. Then I fell in love with him. We're together, but I don't trust him because I know his past. He works with a few females & adds them all on Facebook. He rarely talks to them online, but I can never see who he talks to on MSN. He works till late at night & it drives me insane sitting at home waiting. We don't live together. We've been together 8 months now. I need to talk to someone. I don't have that many friends to talk to about this. It's driving me to destruction I swear, staying up late trying to make sense of it or what to do. I sometimes feel like I should just give up because it making me ill...
I'm going through this now....jealousy is a very bad thing as part of a relationship...it hurts you a lot to see your bf chatting and flirting with other girls...he just doesn't realise that your getting hurt and upset by seeing him doing this.....well I'm over with my bf but I still love him...he's got a few girls after him who he flirts with a lot....which makes me upset. I try not to show this as I want him to feel that I have moved on....but I haven't, that is why I try to do the same chat more to my guy mates...even the other day I did this I flirted with my guy mate...he started saying oh connection eye....which means there was a sign of jealously there, but he just tried not to show it....
I am going through the same at the moment, My boyfriend sat in this friends house until 1 in the morning and said that he got caught up talking to her dad. Then last night he told me that she had asked him to go out for a chinese with her and her son. Now yes I was jealous and why not. Why is another woman asking my man that has a girlfriend out for a cosy meal with her and her son. I have tried telling myself that I am his girlfriend and not her and he always spends a lot of valuable time with me so why should I worry, but I still have this nagging thought in the back of my mind as to why she is doing this. It is horrible being jealous and it is not a nice feeling at all but if you love your man then you have to try and trust him
My boyfriend seems to talk to other girls and the part that makes me upset is that they make him happy when he talks to them... Its makes me worry he's starting to like them. Sometimes I'm pretty sure he spends more time talking to other girls than me but maybe I'm just paranoid. He says he loves me more than anyone and other stuff like that from time to time but I guess I just feel like talk is cheap & his actions don't usually support all the nice things he says to me.
Just remember he's yours..
I'm going sorta' the same thing,
but I'm not jealous at all,
I'm not insecure or any of that,
I love myself and who I'm,
its just I love him to, just when
he isn't talking about how hot a girl is.. Like that only makes me pissed..
Like cu'mon man, be considerate, I'm your girlfriend! Ugh, just annoying,
but I know hes only playing around most of the time, just he has GUY FRIENDS for that, and I have girl friends to talk about boys to, so I never do with him....
Just remember to be secure, there's obviously something in you that keeps him from running off to these girls.
I have the same issue as you girls. I'm 15 and ive been with my b/f for 10 months now. Hes absoloutly amazing but he is very protective over me and if I talk to other boys he gets annoyed etc. But he talks to other girls a lot and I get really hurt by it as he does when I talk to other boys. We are crazy inlove about eachother and have talked about this for ages because he wants to fix the problem because he says I'm the only girl he wants and loves. I know he loves me and I try to trust him but I always get jelous :( I don't know what to do anymore I hate being jelous!
Hey I know exactly how you feel look it doesnt matter we r so much better then man and you know what go for your life do whatever you want to do and trust me you and him will swoop places he will be the 1 by your side shaking and scared to loose you the more you show tht you scared of something to man the more they take advantage of it!!!
Come on! Are you really that jealous? I know what its like. I definately can relate. But I now know that the only way to stop jealousy is by not think about it. You don't have to be jealous. It's probably just that you haven't gotten used to him around other girls sense you started the relashion ship. Believe me, if you don't see it or think it, you won't be jealous.
I know exactly how you feel. Just the other night we were over at a friend's party, and for the majority of the night I wasn't jealous at all. There was even one point where we were sitting at a table playing cards and there were no more chairs, so this random chick sat on his lap. At first I was pissed until I saw her boyfriend standing behind her and my boyfriend's slightly annoyed face. He said he'd tell her to get off if I wanted him to, so that made me feel a lot better. Later that night, however, I couldn't find him and looked around only to see him watching (very intently, I might add) some girls dancing promiscuosly. He saw that I was pissed and took me outside to apologise, calling them
Look a man will be a man they will flirt. As long as he doesn't take it past that level then I would not worry about it
Its ok you felling jealous I mean who wouldnt? I mean he's yours remember. Plus if he's flirting then thats wrong. But if he's not then its ok. Looking at your BF talking to girls may make you misunderstand. He might be asking the girls what home work they had on monday. Or what they had in there sandwiches... =D. Home work still he belongs to you.
I understand the jealousy. My boyfriend who I do trust keeps talking to this one girl online from another country sometimes, even though he says she is annoying and stupid, he continues to talk to her. I've made it clear I don't like this girl either. She's quite flirty with him and bitchy, but he just tells me to stop being stupid. I am being a bit stupid, but I know if the situation was the other way around, he would be so pissed if I was talking to a guy who was flirty and was an asshole.
Build your trust with him
My boyfriend said I was too controlling and did not trust him, so he broke up with me. I did not like the fact he was ignoring my texts when he was with this girl and his friends. I told him how I was hurt by it, and he said he was suppose to take care of her because she was his friends little sister, she is my age and my boyfriends age. I asked for time to get used to the fact he was hanging out and caring for some other girl. He said NO. I said I should be the only girl on his mind, he said he loves his friends(he had known her for a week). I freaked out, we have a long distance relationship, we see eachother once a week yet he sees her way more! I told the girl how I felt about all this and she was a total bitch to me saying I was fragile and I couldn't pick his friends. He broke my heart when he broke up with me. And 2 days later he asked for it to be a break. But the fact he still hangs out with this bitch annoys me. I have gone out on dates to try to get over my jealousy over the break, but gosh his name lingers in my head and how he is so perfect compared to every other guy. Me and him have been going out for a year and that whole year, we had agreed to not talk to other people of the opposite sex, as our trust built, he lied to me, he went to hooters and some other things so my trust for him died and he said it was his breaking point. That I did not trust him and he broke up with me, for this girl. I don't know what to do during this break, dates are not helping, and my mom does not like any of my dates, this only reminds me of how she is only pleased by my now ex-boyfriend. HELP!
I used to be in the same problem here,there were 3 girls who would always flirt with my bf,I felt insecure the firs day this happened but the same day I asked him if he liked them but he said no.now today we are a happy couple.just try to chill if this happens take a small break to relieve this problem
If you're worried about it, you probably have a good reason to be. Try hanging out as a group sometime, but don't be too possessive. He is allowed to have other friends--But in excess, it does look suspicious. If he's not willing to put the time and effort into making you secure in your relationship, it may be time to reevaluate where you stand, and whether you're into who he is or who you want him to be. If it's the second option, it may be time to call it off.
If you are having difficulty coping with your partner's past relationships try reading I HATE HIS EX by Alex Cooper. I had loads of issues with my fiance's ex and I have now resolved them thanks to the advice in this book! You can get it on Amazon! Definitely worth a read! :)
Its all part of your emotional and mental health - you've got to control yourself.
The one thing I don't get is that a boyfriend can talk to other girls but if you try to talk to other guys he flips out and will think your cheating..my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and since about 6 months on he's always talking to other girls going into AOL chatrooms..talking dirty to them in text messages...at this point I don't know what to do anymore..I love him to death...but I just don't know.
What a bf! Srry 2 say this...but (I know he wouldnt) but if my bf ever did that..oh my god!!!I'd try 2 make me more 'desirable' 2 my bf (if I had this problem) and make him want you so much he doesnt care whos around but you..my bf could have 10 million girls around him but he'd only look and talk 2 me..sounds like you need more understanding in your relationship..
Well, you can also talk to other boys if that's cool with you and your guy. These things don't matter much when you are in a strong relationship.
If you think he deserves your trust and that he really is honest with you then I think you should stop worrying....
But you say 24/7 then I think you're in a mess....dump him!
Ask if you can go with him the next time he hangs out with the girls... If he says no, something's up. If he says yes, go and watch his behavior. Anything sneaky going on?
Talk to him more, go in depth into how you feel when you see him with them, maybe become friends with the girls her hangs out with, this gives you more ground in the situation.
Thats something you have to choose yourself. I have mostly female friends and I hang out with them and my girlfriend has learned to live with it. But she has a lot of guy friends to. It all comes down to do you trust him?
As a girl I know you maybe jealous and think that maybe something bad happen between your boyfriend and his girl friend. But as you said your boyfriend assure you that they are only friend. I think you have to trust him. In a relationship trust is important to make it grow.
I was going through the same thing you was going through but I had to realize that I loved him and how can I tell him that if I don't trust him. If yall love each other you shouldn't have anything to worry about.
This is my first relationship so far.. Been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now..and weve been all about eachother the entire time.. I love him so much and know he loves me.. He shows me that every single day..I can't say I'm IN LOVE with him..but do love him for the person he is and the way he is with me.. Recently hes moved down in the city where we both attend school and take the same program..our school hours are intense and we spend classes sitting beside eachother.. He no longer has a car and I live pretty far.. Inorder for us to see eachother outside of school its up to ME..that puts a lot of stress on me and pressure..while I'm at home with family and friends..hes out with his 4 roomates who are all single..they meet girls..party with girls.have girls come over..go over to girls places..I NEVER SAW MYSELF AS THE JEALOUS type..but feel like lately I have been.. I don't know its just very repetetive the fact that he spends more of his free time..out of school time..with random chicks and not with me..hes done nothing for me to think hed cheat or w.e..but I can't stop causing fights over this..I would never ask him not to go out or what not..and wouldnt expect him to listen..but I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO..I'm going to ruin my relationship..help?!
Yeah, right. He sounds like the type that'd rather flirt and go from girl to girl, then settle and commit to one.Be suspicious. If he spends too much time w/ girls, he's going to fall in love w/ one. Ask to tag along. Get close to those girls. Puppy love ends in disaster eventually 100% of the time. Look at his history of girls, is he a player?
Wow 24/7 man uhhhh wow dats tough try 2 believe n him 4 now nd trust n him.....but if you start seein sumin wrong or unusual lik 4 example him bein wit da same gurl a lot den you need 2 step n nd start doin sumin bout it
Well one of these days you should spy on him and checkout whats really going on