My Best Friend Just Told Me He's Gay, ( And I'm Quite Homophobic) How Can I Tell Him I Don't Want To Be His Friend Anymore?


12 Answers

Johnny McGowan Profile
Johnny McGowan answered
" I am a bigoted, homophobic, terrible friend. I don't care about all of the good times we've had. You're different from me in one little way, so I don't want anything to do with you. Our friendship is entirely conditional, and if you want to be true to yourself, then you've lost yourself a friend. I don't care about you. I don't even care enough to have the courtesy to support my friends when they're going through a rough chapter in their lives. Despite everything we've been through, I'm still ultimately going to judge you by who you fall in love with rather than by the content of your character. You confided in me, and now I'm going to spit in your face. You trusted me, and now I'm going to stab you in the back. We cared about each other, but now I have to abandon you, because our friendship means nothing to me. You understand, right? Have a nice life. Later."
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Your friend cannot help being gay. If you liked him before then I cannot understand why you cannot like him now. You do not have to have sex with him. Being a best friend means sticking with them through thick and thin.
3 People thanked the writer.
Will Pavey
Will Pavey commented
Im 12 By The Way.
Its Just The Problem Is, I cant Stand To Even Look At Him Anymore.
Anonymous commented
Give yourself time to get over it. Your mind is no doubt working overtime. If he was a good friend before then I feel he deserves better. How would you like it if you had an accident and he did not want to see you.
Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
If you're 12 years old, you are too young for this site. You're in luck, however, we won't prosecute you for lying when you signed up on this site and the best news is - you should mature in your opinions as you grow up.

And I'm just messing with you on prosecuting you. However, there is an age limit for a reason.
Didge Doo Profile
Didge Doo answered
I gave a different answer to this question which was certainly critical of you, but then I learned from a comment to another question that you're only 12 years old.

For Pete's sake put something on your profile [age to tell us who you are and how old you are. It helps us to give more appropriate answers. I should think that the answers you've already had -- including mine -- would make you feel pretty bad.

You've obviously been brought up in a family, and probably a church, that make you think there's something wrong with being gay. There isn't. Over the next five years or so you're going to run into all sorts of ideas that don't fit very well with what you've been taught. That doesn't mean they're wrong. And it doesn't mean that they're right, either. As you develop more experience and more understanding, you'll get better at making the right decisions.

Meanwhile, try to act like a friend. You won't become infected with a "gay germ" by having a gay friend. You may well develop a sense of compassion, and that will help you right through your life.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Why would you not be his friend, anymore. He needs you now more than ever.
2 People thanked the writer.
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Bikergirl Anonymous
"Turn gay" .. Really?? I'm think'n you really have no idea .. FYI: they don't just wake up one day and 'turn' gay. Geesh .. where have you been living, under a rock? And .. no .. It is not contagious.
Didge Doo
Didge Doo commented
@Danae: Was that "poof: a Freudian slip?
Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
No, it was doing a magic trick - Poof, now you're gay! Poof, now you're a dragon! Poof, you're invisible! Since the belief is that gay is a choice, or something to be "caught", like measles, I was making fun of Will Pavey. Seeing as the question is from 2009, I doubt he's on here any longer.
I am Life..... Profile
I am Life..... answered
Be honest, is it just that you are homophobic or you are ashamed of being a friend of a guy.... Be clear my friend and if you are then straightaway tell him that you cannot continue with him as a friend as this is a big problem...
PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

So is he actually different from the person you have always known? I mean really? Think about it. Don't just dismiss him because of this. The only thing different is you are not going to be each other's wingmen when you get older. So instead of dismissing him as your friend ask for some time and space to think this through. Then actually think it through. Think about how he really isn't a different person then before, it is just that you know a little more about him.

Saffron Luxford Profile
Saffron Luxford answered

1- Try and overcome the problem there is nothing wrong with gay people they r not going to fall in love with you or turn you gay it just means they like men.

2- If you can't overcome the problem, just tell him. He sounds like he trusts you and is a proper friend... just say you need some time. Like, still talk to him don't block him out completely because that can really push him down and is a huge mistake.

holy bambeebreezy Profile

Maybe you should be honest about how you feel, if you would really care about him you would not be there asking this question, if he's really your friend you don't have to let him. 

You 're maybe afraid that if you hang out with him people will talk? Honestly it's his problem if he's gay. 

It's not about you. Look into a mirror and if you feel  guilty about letting him stay friend with him and if you not that mean you 're not really  a good friend so be nice to him and let him, he can find a better friend than you.

John McCann Profile
John McCann answered


So, you are saying you have an irrational fear of homosexuals.

This person would be better off and safer without an irrational person, you, around.

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