It's never too late, if you've let him do that to you for the past 20 yrs well that's the past, you've changed, learned that you have the right to be heard, that your opinion is important, just be serious about it. I've only been married for a year and a half and I love my husband dearly and he loves me, but yes, sometimes he doesn't take me seriously when I make a comment or something; specially when we're talking about dominating people whether is a man or a woman (it can happen anyway or both ways), the dominating person tends to think that our questions, comments or opinions are dumb and they start an inquisitive questionary about our reasons to make such inquiry,specially if you're a housewife, well, of course they think they are always right, well, prove him wrong... Start out with simple things, then lets say you want to lose weight, well, do something and be serious about it, even if it's just 5 pounds you lose, he'll know you're serious and of course keep them off.
Johns right...20 years is a long time to want to teach an old dog new tricks....but I do also agree with the others, maybe try to reinvent yourself, do things that you want to do, and take care of yourself first....he'll notice soon enough that somethings not right and want to know whats going on.....if he loves you he'll attempt to change....but go easy on him, change doesn't happen over night. Good luck
Try this avoid him for an entire day then you start doing things that you never did before, go out party and dont tell him hang out with girlfrends, or you could hold him hostage for a day without food or anything.
Hahahahah- you have been letting him do this for twenty years and now you want him to change ,if you don't mind me saying so your delusional to think you can change him after you made him this way. : )...if he did not take you seriously he would not have stayed with you this long. You just don't like what he is doing after you trained(let him do this for the last 20 years) him to do exactly what he is doing. What i don't get is why you did not say or do anything 19 and a half years ago. I give you 6 months when your first married to set the ground rules.which you did by letting him get away with this for the last 19 years and 6 months. Remember you asked and you let it happen. I guess you could actually talk to him since he doesn't know you have decided to change the ground rules for your benefit. : ) hahahahaha. In other words he can't read your mind. But i guess you also think he should be able to do what even you can not do.but think you can. Seems like this is how eve misled adam in the garden many millennia ago.hahahahahahahahahahahahaha so now that your a little mad maybe you will talk to the one you agreed to love honor and cherish through sickness and health and for richer for poorer. Duh! : ).. This reminds me of the simpsons episode where marge asks for her christmas present knowing homer forgot to get her one.
NOBODY just changes after 20 years. You BOTH would have to spend quite a bit of time with a marriage counselor in order for anything to change between you two.