What Can I Do To Get My Husband To Notice Me After 10 Years ?


3 Answers

Karen Henchen Profile
Karen Henchen answered
I agree with most of what rayoflight said. And I think that how you are feeling is really common in marriages. People get so caught up in work and kids that they start to forget about what is important to themselves and their marriage. Life tends to become very repetitive: Get kids off to school, go to work, come home, make dinner, put kids to bed, go to sleep.. Repeat. We tend to ignore ourselves and spouses. And when we put everything else first, we lose a part of ourselves. I think you should do something for yourself today. Get your haircut and dyed. Get a new dress.. Start a new workout plan.. Etc. And then, do something for your husband. Get him that gadget he has been wanting, for no reason. And maybe go on a date together. Get a babysitter, put on some makeup and that new dress, and go to your favorite restaurant. Do something you both really enjoy.. Go skiing, or to a drive in movie.. I think that your husband hasn't forgotten you exist, but he is just as caught up in all the everyday stuff as you are. You just need to do somethings to break the monotonousness. Be spontanious! Do something out of the norm.. It will draw his attention. Good luck.. I hope I was helpful.
thanked the writer.
Nancy Araujo
Nancy Araujo commented
I agree with some of what's been posted but make sure that you don't allow this to become about your appearance~especially your weight. It is true that right now you can do little things for yourself~~and you should do it for YOU. That could mean just getting a manicure or a nice outfit that makes you feel good. You may need a boost in the self-esteem dept. And try not to be critical of yourself, you're a human being just like he is and you have to love yourself first. You may have to keep reminding yourself that your are worth it. It's not unusual for a person to realize what they've got, after they've lost it. Bottom line is if you value yourself, others will too. Reaching out to him first and opening up the lines of communication is a good idea, it will possibly preserve his pride so that he doesn't have to make the first move. He may not be feeling loving or affectionate vibes from you for whatever reason and may not want to take a chance that he'll be rejected if he approaches you first. Ego is a fragile and sensative part of our personalities, he may really appreciate it if you show him he's wanted and loved.
Squiggy commented
I don't necessarily agree with you, longbeach. While appearance isn't everything and two kids can wreak havoc on the female body, physical attraction is an important part of a marriage, especially to us guys. Now let me qualify this by saying that my wife and I have two kids and she has been overweight (~200 lbs) most of our marriage. While I would love for her to lose weight, I still find her attractive and we still have a great sex life. But I see so many husbands and wives who feel duped by marrying a physically attractive person who totally lets themselves go after marriage. I feel almost superficial for making this point in this age of feelings and self-esteem but appearance IS important, it's typically the key to men and women getting together in the first place. Sometimes preserving "self-esteem" becomes a crutch for not doing anything difficult that has a chance of making you feel bad if you fail. It should be OK to do something difficult for the most important person in your life, that's what marriage is about. And who know if weight or appearance is even an issue, but as human animals it's an important factor in getting someone to notice you. So yes, work on your side of things, personality, interests, excitement in the marriage and hopefully he'll come along for the ride and do his part as well.
ray of light Profile
ray of light answered
Well first of all, examine yourself closely. Are you still in a good shape to attract him? Or you have gained so many extra pounds? Are you still humorous enough to make him laugh?or you have become predictable? Are you still willing to do the stuffs you people used to enjoy a lot together? Or you have got boring? Do you still give him as much time and attention as you used to give 10 years back? Or you are too busy with your kids and other domestic duties?
Its not only 1 partner's mistake. In a relationship, if one partner seems to have changed his attitude towards the other, then there must be some problem/change on the other partner's part as well. Try to solve the problem on your side, and you will see how your husband responds to this positive approach in your attitude/behavior.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I needed orthodontics my entire life. At age 35 I got braces and voila it moved my lower jaw into place and I went from a 2 to a 10.  I've always been thin, but with the ugly face I never bothered to dress nicely. So I have great hair, great body, great clothes--

and everybody has noticed but my husband of 11 years.  I walk into a room, everyone notices but him.  I've talked to him about it a million times in the past six months, and now I'm about to give up and go get a real lover as he states he views me as a "partner".

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