What Should People Consider Before Ending A Relationship?

16 Answers

Midnite star Profile
Midnite star answered
There's a lot to consider; especially if young children are involved. But if U do decide to make a split, the best thing U should try to achieve, is mutual agreement on everything.
If U can't agree to be kind to each other in every way....both during & after the split, your gonna be in for a lot of misery that can go on for years & years.

A female should consider the financial ramifications.( Unless she has a great lawyer !!)
But really....If she doesn't have a good enuff job to sustain her level of living after a split; Or if she isn't able to work at all, it could become extremely hard for her to survive.
She has to consider where she'll get medical benefits from if she has no job. Not only how she's gonna pay her rent, etc.
Most men can sustain paying their living expenses after a split, but they should consider having to pay support to their "X".....depending on the length of that relationship.(if it's a marriage) & Also child support could B involved. These can run high if U make a good living to begin with. Judges will not let U get away w/o paying for your children. If U don't have any...Or they R grown, you'll be okay.

One warning....If your in a situation where U hafta walk on eggshells everyday, it isn't worth staying for one more day. End it.

The one ? I asked myself n' that sticks in my mind about my decision when I made it, was that I couldn't see me wanting this person to be at my side, if I became gravely ill, or was dying. I also knew I needed to choose between a chance at being happy or staying unhappy. The financial comfort & everything else wasn't as important to me, so I chose the hard road for a shot at being happy again.

U need to feel good about your choice.
The reasons for ending a relationship may all wind up showing their true colors soon after it's done; and any ATTEMPT at keeping things friendly may not work after all. U should consider this too.

Once U make that decision to end a relationship.....U hafta realize that U will likely suffer financially, emotionally & otherwise. (Unless U have someone else in the wings waiting to love U & take care of U. )   This goes for both male & female. I would be sure I had a way to do it on my own & not B depending on someone else.
U must B happy with yourself if U decide to end any relationship.

Depending on how your other half feels about the split, U could be dealing with a lot of pent up & continued anger from your decision. THIS...can become VERY expensive ( or even dangerous), if your not careful & work together to agree on something U both can accept & live with.

Think hard & take your time deciding. It's a very important life-changing decision.
Michelle New Zealand Profile
There's a lot of things to consider before ending a relationship but then it all depends on what kind of relationship you've been in.   If you get abused in any kind of way physical or emotional on an on going basis then there is only one thing to do and that is to end it as soon as possible.   The longer you hold on to the relationship the worse it gets and eventually your own self-being will be destroyed.   If there are children then involve then they will ten to one get abused as well so there will be one choice and one choice only get out of there.   Get a good lawyer and make the person pay in more then one way.

No brake up is ever easy and never without any pain, not just for you but for everyone involve in both your lifes, family, friends and most of all children.

When there are the people that have wonderful partners and yet that is still not enough.   They get bored and want something else, something better and something exiting.   Oh, yes it is fun and exiting to have a secret love affair and you may even tell yourself that it actually makes the sex life with your own partner so much better but things like this never stay a secret.

Things to consider before you want to do something like this:

Why am I doing this, shouldn't I rather make life fun with my own partner then i don't have to think about all the other consequences if i do decide to be unfaithful.
How will it affect my relationship with my friends and family if they find out what I've done.
If there are children involved, how will this affect them.
How will my partner react and what will the consequences be for me when the partner do find out.
What will a scandel like this do to my profesional life.
If this person can have an affair with me when will this person get tired of me and move on to the next person.
Will I be better of with this person.
Will he or she leave their partner for me.
How will this affect me financially
John Profile
John answered
Exactly what jackyl said .what was the original reason for starting the relationship.marriage is suppose to be forever and that is why you/we/i are suppose to court the one we are trying to get to know to find all their faults in order to be able to deal with it in the marriage and if we are willing to work through all things with them in life.in other words having a real (rela)tionship that does not include sex in order to know the person for who they really are after the lust wears off. In other words are they going to be your real equal/your other half . This also depends on the type of relationship you are talking about   and where it takes place. For example you can have a working relationship with people and really know nothing about them.you can have a relative and have a relationship by blood but not really know who they are. I have friends from school and work and they will always be my friends even if i don't see them for decades/in other words i still know who they are at heart but not in their personal life since the time they went their own ways in life. I guess you/we should really think of what will happen before you start a relationship with them in the first place.so there is no misunderstanding when and if the relationship is shall we say cut off/short. Sometimes we don't have a choice(no control) because of happenstances of life
Annie Devore Profile
Annie Devore answered
If There Has Been Good Communication Between The Two Of You.. If You Truly Love Each Other..   If There Has Been Honesty . Have   You Shared Responsibilities?   Were You There For Each Other When They Were Sad .. Frustrated ..Angry? Do You Give Them Time To " Do Their Own Thing"? Do You Trust Them? Would They Be There For You When Everyone Else Abandons Them? How Long Has The Relationship Been? Do You Share Similar Goals?
thanked the writer.
Midnite star
Midnite star commented
Hey Purp, I would try to think of these things B-4 I got into a relationship. They seem to go half n' half, either way, tho. Some R close to what I thought of when I made my decision. That "abandoning" part. An' the "being there" for U when U were sad is another.
I would hope that B-4 I got into a relationship, I would ask myself the other things. Like....Trust, Honesty, Loving each other, Allowing U space & good communication. Also, similar goals is a #1 question that I would ask myself.
Joan Profile
Joan answered
One simple question should be considered - Will I be better off with or without this person?   That should include emotionally,   financially and (is some cases) physically, current time and future time.   If you answer yes to those questions, it is time to cut your losses and make a break.
thanked the writer.
Midnite star
Midnite star commented
U would normally think this Nanat. But in a lot of cases the results to these questions have a 2-sided answer.
Yes- in some ways & No- in others.
How do U compromise on your own answers if they come out this way ?
There R just times....when a simple Yes or No don't work.
Joan
Joan commented
When I am undecided which way to jump, I make 2 lists: One negative and one positive. I find time when I am not going to be interrupted & list every thought that comes into my head...negative or positive about the situation. As you mentioned, there are always some good & some bad. When I have finally run out of any thoughts on the matter, I look at the list. If you want to do it logically & not emotionally - you will have your answer in black and white in your own writing. It works for me!
Karen Profile
Karen answered
Before I ended a relationship, I always considered if I would be stalked. People are crazy and will do anything especially when they are already emotional. I tried to end it on a good note early on. Then as I aged and people became more dramatic, I just dropped the bomb and now I keep a loaded gun. My daughter's daddy likes to come over and try to start an argument occasionally, but, I just walk off and it's all good.
thanked the writer.
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Michelle New Zealand
Oh, the stalking thing, I had that problem myself and couldn't get rid of the guy so had to take action by involving the big guys. I specialize in Criminal Law so know some pretty good Detectives which made a special visit to this guys house on my behalf and after that I never heard from him again.
Karen
Karen commented
Thank God, Tamy.....there are some real freaks out there!!
Michelle New Zealand
Oh, you are so right and believe me, I've never been so scared in my life before. This guy freaked me out so badly
greg gowen Profile
greg gowen answered
Does she have a tape recorder?
Jack Mahon Profile
Jack Mahon answered
If in actuality there was a genuine one there to begin with.
thanked the writer.
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Midnite star
Midnite star commented
Well Jack...This time I disagree with ya. There's a lot of "genuine" relationships out there, that just don't & can't make it for the long run. Other reasons pop up & change things.
On the other hand...IF they had a True relationship to start with, then U R right. Love conquers all.
Jack Mahon
Jack Mahon commented
Genuine is "The real thing." if it weren't the "real thing" then it wasn't "Genuine." Simple logic.
Midnite star
Midnite star commented
Jack...Ur right about "Genuine." I do know the word's meaning.

What I meant was that things can change even in "Genuine" relationships. Sometimes they need to end regardless of how it once was.

If Ur turned on n' your life is put in danger, would U still stay? Not me Pal....I'm outta there...True Love or Not. U can end it but still love them. U just go on, n' try to find happiness (& safety) regardless of the risks. That's Y I said staying friends was a good idea.
William Harkin Profile
William Harkin answered
Hiya Keith.It's sad, but pertinent.Children if any,money,who will live where,and can they talk to each other without an army of lawyers.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
The ramification's people have to go through after the relationship is over, the fighting the bickering and all that.
thanked the writer.
Midnite star
Midnite star commented
Yep..usually caused by one half not liking the split up. Then they go for Ur jugular !! Especially if they had an anger problem to begin with.....Which is probably Y U left in the 1st place.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If you are married and have kids, don't do it. Be responsible and stay together to raise your kids. Have fun on the side if you must.
Ruth Campbell Profile
Ruth Campbell answered
Consider EVERYTHING.  What does this person mean to you, how will you feel without them, do you really think there might be somebody better out there, or can you fix this relationship right now?  Can both of you change just a little bit to make the other a little bit happier?  That is the main question.
Audrey Smith Profile
Audrey Smith answered
You need to think of why you want to end the relationship. Men and women are different, we want different things. Read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. It's an amazing book and has explained many things to me. :)

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