Wow....11 years? So, I'm assuming committment was not something you are looking for? Sweety, I don't know you, but I've seen this before. I have to say, I'm sure you do love him, but I think a big part of it is a very intense infatuation and a bit of obsession. I would never...no matter how much I was in love with a guy, never allow a man to use me like that. Please, no offense to you at all. I am not judging. I'm just saying that, first of all, think about what kind of man this is if he is cheating on his own wife for 11 years. Think of the disrespect to his wife and....to you! Obviously he is not leaving his wife, and likes having you on the side as entertainment. I bet you can do soooo much better than being someone's side dish. I think you should really move on a start a new beginning for yourself. If you feel you couldn't leave him in one shot, you can try to wean yourself away from him. See him less and less, little by little, and meanwhile, make yourself available to other people for dating. If you think you can handle it, than stay friends with him. You can talk on the phone occasionally, maybe even go out to lunch once in a while. When you meet other people you will feel more secure and find it easier to let go of this guy. I think you really need to take a good look at what you really want...and deserve in your life. Life is short. It won't be easy at first, but if you are serious about getting someone for yourself, you really need to be strong and let this guy go. Time heals. Believe me. Time heals. Especially when you have a fresh, new person in your life who "truly" loves you and wants to be with you always....not just at his convenience. Life isn't easy. Anything worth having is worth working for, and that includes a good, respectable, stress-free life. It just seems that a man like this is not worth all the work I'm sure you're putting into it. Good luck.
Give yourself that extra credit,love yourself,he doesnt, your putting yourself second an thats no good for any woman to do, your just as important as the next woman,if a man can have there cake an ice cream then yes they will do that, but don't let that ice cream be you, wont to be that all to your man not half.,you can't give him your all if hes going home to another woman.
I understand what your going through. I love my boyfriend of two years so much even though he keeps hurting me and no matter how much he hurts me I can't be without him because hes my everything. :( it's so unhealthy to be like it. It's not good cause I depend on him for my happiness. I think that you've been waiting 11 years thinking he will leave his wife, but it will never happen. He says he loves you but in actual fact I'm sure he sees you just as sex. And I'm sure your relationship is really based on it. I think you should leave him. But how to do it is the difficult part. You really need your mates with you at a time like this. They'll give you the strength to give this up :)
Have respect for yourself,because he doesn't,don't ever put yourself second,because the way you bring any thing toward a relationship that's the way he's going to treat you.he feels like that if i can have my cake an ice cream to why not,but when the ice cream melts,he will still have his cake an that would be the wife.
11 years is a long time. If he hasn't left his wife by now, he never will. Leave him alone and be with someone who can devote all of themselves to you and only you. Let this be a learning experience. Don't date married men or men with g/f..you will only get hurt in the end. You need to get the strength and the courage to end this relationship. You should have more respect for yourself and love yourself enough to want better.