I'm In Love With My Boss But He's Married. We Were Dating Before He Got Married. How Can I Get Rid Of These Feelings?


6 Answers

Oscar De La Huerte Profile
To overcome romantic feelings for your boss, I'd suggest trying to keep as much distance between yourselves as possible.

Whilst it may be difficult for you to control your feelings, you can control how much time you spend around your boss.

If things get too intense, you may want to consider looking for alternative employment.

In love with my boss- what to do?

Although workplace relationships are fairly common, they have a habit of not turning out quite the way people plan. Mixing love with work means you're running the risk of turning your work environment into an awkward and difficult place to get work done. It sounds to me like that's what has already happened in your case.

If you've already been in a relationship with your boss before his marriage, then at least both of you should be aware of the problem and will be able to tackle the issue together.

Ironically, I think that working together is the only effective way to find a solution to this problem.

Avoiding a boss that you still have feelings for

Working in the same place means you are inevitably going to have to spend time together, so coming up with a solution will probably require you guys to sit down and discuss things openly.
Keeping your feelings to yourself will allow them to bubble up and eat away at you, so let him know how you're feeling, tell him that your respect his marriage and his decision to move on, and that you are going to try doing the same.

Once you've got everything out in the open, I'd suggest exploring different ways to 'move on'. Fill up your spare time with activities and objectives, and perhaps consider getting romantically involved with other men to keep your mind off your boss.
Wendy Profile
Wendy answered
Keep things very professional and realize that he is married. Keep yourself busy and go out with friends to keep your mind off of him. Don't make him the central focus of what you think about when you're at work.

It may be hard but you can do it. Plan things for yourself after work that you can look forward to which will help you get through your day. It will get easier. Take care.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If you really love each other, just make it work. Just because he's married doesn't mean he doesn't really love you.  If he has kids he may not want to get a divorce.  And it is possible for a man to love more than one woman, possibly in different ways, at the same time. 

You need to expand your mind around the possibilities here.  Perhaps it is possible for him to open his wife up to a more open arrangement.  Our ideas about what should be are imaginary social constructs, not reality.  We have the freedom to reinvent those constructs to suit us more appropriately. 

The hard part is getting the people who matter on the same page.  As long as your intent is to increase love, and not to hurt anyone, there can be no fault.
I think you must tell yourself that the man loves his wife, not you. How can you love somebody who is not interested in your love? You must try to find another man.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I just realized after a year that I am in love with my boss and he is married too. I know he is attracted to me but makes sure he avoids eye contact and conversation as much as possible. He only acts like this towards me.

I know there can never be anything between us because he is very professional and I know he wouldn't risk his job and family. So what I have decided to do is lose some weight and look great and make him as miserable as I am!

Why should I have to go through this alone? I have a lot of friends in our office so hearing my name as much as possible doesn't hurt either.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I think that's a good thing to do hurt him like he hurts you. I'm sure one way or another he helped you to fall in love with him.

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