I Told My Friend A Really Personal Secret And Now She's Blabbing It Around The WHOLE School And I Don't Know What To Do. Any Advice?

36 Answers

Mr. Adamo Profile
Mr. Adamo answered
Yo.. Got your shout jes' now.. Yea friends can B tough N tend 2do this a lot!! Before I give you my opinion bout' it what 2do wit her or him wit friendship  "after the fact"  of it.. Here's something may help you out az a metaphor how 2deal wit em' right  "now" .. Derez small small story....      Sand and Stone

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
  THEY KEPT ON WALKING,  UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,  WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE  A BATH. THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN  SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE  AND STARTED DROWNING BUT THE  FRIEND SAVED HIM.

  AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE ".

  THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE FRIEND REPLIED
"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY;
  IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,  AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,  A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN AN ENTIRE  LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!

DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS
YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE
WHO
YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE !


  Hope this helped... About resolutions after the fact besides the point of the story... Mm.. Keep it "real" with whatever comes your way N if your genuine with how you carry yourself and do the best you can and YOU know it then that's all anyone can ask of you.. Even wen things in the moment R mess and need janitor from the movie "Bruce Almighty"..
thanked the writer.
christina burt
christina burt commented
Thanks that's really good help because i don't want to stop talkin 2 her because we have been friends for 3 yrs!!!!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Listen to everyone and let it be a lesson and move on.Now you know what type of person she is,and you'll probably go through this again.Keep your personal secrets just that,secret!!
nettie Profile
nettie answered
Stand tall and proud that is a lesson and did not cost you anything shake it off and I hope she is now your EX friend and that you will be careful as to whom you will trust from now on, it's just a lesson...that's all if you get the chance tell her Thanks, she just increased your knowledge about people...the best to you, that too shall pass...HUGS
carrie Profile
carrie answered
Hold your head up high and accept that you can't change it. But you have learned a very valuable lesson--be careful who you trust. And if you really don't want other people to know something, then you can't tell anyone. Never trust this friend again, even if she apologizes.
It's hard when something like this happens. Whatever the secret is you have to just deal with the fact that it isn't secret anymore. And whatever it is, the people who really are your friends, won't care. Hang Tough Gymfreak. It will get better.
Nikia Clarke Profile
Nikia Clarke answered
I would not be her friend anymore and I most surely would not tell her anything again....brush it off,shes jealous and has no life that why she uses your life to seem more popular
Krystal DeLaRosa Profile
She isn't your true friend. I would never talk to her again if I were you. Sooner or later they will have something else to talk about & this will be over. So, keep your head up until then and act as if it doesn't bother you.
Oddman Profile
Oddman answered
Stories are the currency girls trade in. You gave your "friend" some gold. She's going to spend it. Awareness of this can help you keep your secrets to yourself. This experience can help you learn to judge the potential impact of your own "spending."

Girls sometimes wonder why boys never talk to them about feelings--or anything else personal. This is why. Boys don't like to have their feelings and vulnerabilities spread around.
martha Profile
martha answered
After confronting her about why she would do this, you probably should just leave her alone and most of all  do NOT ever tell her anything private again.. She can not be trusted.
But DO NOT get down to her level by being nasty back.  It just will make you look worse.  Be the bigger person and walk away.
Grandma Pugh Profile
Grandma Pugh answered
I would tell her that you are very disappointed in her for telling and that if she wants to still be your friend ok but don't confide in her anymore.  She may be a friend but not a true friend or she wouldn't have told your secret.  Good luck
Erika Benford Profile
Erika Benford answered
The secret is out , so there is not much you can do about that. The important thing is how you handle or shall I say react to what has been said. The best thing to do is to go on with life as normal act like nothing was said and act like it's really not a big issue. I know this won't be easy! People are looking for your reaction and that is what they will feed on! If you continue with life as usual then they won't have anything to feed on and the situation will pass sooner than later! It won't go away overnight but it will pass. Also don't get a funky attitude with your friend, that's what she wants, If you just smile and go on about your business it will totally freak her out! Don't let her know she got to you! Don't give her that kind of power! Be smart and don't tell her anymore of your business! Do your best to smile! In spite of how your are feeling inside! Don't even waist your time trying to figure out why she  blabbed! Just remember! We are all human which means we all have the ability to let each other down! The only one that won't let you down is JESUS! Trust him with your secrets! You can do get through this! I have faith in you!:)
Janet Simmons Profile
Janet Simmons answered
Unfortunately Gymfreak....there are going to be more days like this.  There are so many people in this world that delight in hurting others....and unfortunately, those people are sometimes in our realm of "friends".  But, I am a believer in the old adage..."What doesn't kill you....only makes you stronger."  We have to continue with our daily lives...even though we've been wronged....hopefully having learned 2 lessons.  1. What a TRUE friend really is...so that we, ourselves can be that person and 2. What to expect from others who claim to be our friend.   There is only ONE that will never let you down, who will never betray your secrets and will love you no matter what...and that is Jesus....give it all to him...he'll lead you to the person(s) that you should talk to and have faith in.  We are in this world, but not of this world...keep that in mind.  God bless you as you go through this and may God have his hand in your healing.
Noe Flores Profile
Noe Flores answered
Look I can't give you N E Advice because everybody gave you the advice you need but make shure you follow there advice but you should not tell her anything and if she is trying to talk to you ignore her because she isn't your friend don't trust non of your friends unless there really close ok but just in case don't tell anyone alright don't let this hold you back if your strong then keep your head held up high and don't worry just ignore what they have to say and focus on your goals ok I hope this advice is any good to you by and please take care ok.
Jacquelyn Mathis Profile
I am so sorry about this happening to you. I would take this to a counselor, and they will talk to her about this. Sometimes they are the only ones that can get a kid that is out of line, back in line, and she really should apologize to you. I think you might not want to share anything with her again, she has shown that you can't trust her to keep a secret. Again dear, I am so sorry about this happening to you. That was incredibly mean.
Rena Chisholm Profile
Rena Chisholm answered
I hope she will now be your EX- friend, Gymfreak, as she has proven that she can not be trusted.
   I agree with Rainbo, hon. Just brush it off, hold your head high, shoulders back and a smile upon your lips, sweetie.
  We all have our secrets and sometimes they are announced by a so called friend. It happens. Just remember that no one is better than you are, no matter what secrets you have.
It will soon fade away and people will be on about some other subject.
  Don't let it upset you. It's just not worth the stress.
thanked the writer.
christina burt
christina burt commented
It's hard because we have been friends for 3 years and it's hard to just cut one of your best friends out of your life!!!

Good advice though
greg c Profile
greg c answered
You might want to go back to the beginning. Think about why you told her that deep secret in the first place. A tough life lesson. You'll undoubtedly be a heck of a lot wiser next time you get an urge to share what skeletons you might have hangin around in your closet. But, just remember, don't stop trusting people because this happened to you. It's not a black and white issue. There's a time and a place for everything. Choose your words and the to whoms and whens and wheres cautiously. You're going to come out of this okay. Maybe not tomorrow but it will pass.
Brittney Reichard Profile
Well my advice would be to shut her up don't tell her anymore of your secrets and just tell them that it isn't true and end the friendship no true friend would do that
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My only suggestion is to learn from this. Don't tell your secrets to anyone if you don't have to. And recognize that even though she may be your friend in many things, she may feel competitive with you in other things.
adelfhia enzo Profile
adelfhia enzo answered
hi gym freak, my only advise is this,  is he/she is your friend in many years??. .from now on, you should learn from this, personal secret should tell to those people who you really trust for a years, who knows all about your life, all about your past and present situation, who always in your side.. Many people act that they are nice so that you can give them your trust but once you trust them,like what your friend do,they just like a bubble that will make anything for you to be destroyed.. And if the your WHOLE SCHOOL know about your secret (personal secret).. The only thing that you will do is this "JUST BE YOUR SELF GIRL!!,don't BE SCARED OR SHY TO FACE ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND your SCHOOL!BECAUSE THAT MEANS THAT you ARE BRAVE ENOUGH TO FACE IT, SO WHAT IF THE WHOLE SCHOOL KNOW ABOUT IT? AT LEAST THIS TIME YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL TO TRUST PERSONS IN YOUR LIFE!MANY your BLACK FRIEND HAD ALSO A SECRET THAT HE/SHE IS AFRAID TO KNOW ALL PEOPLE." so just be your self, likewise, it will just past away...
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
It's either she's jealous or she's excited about your story that she can't control her emotions and tell people about it.  She probably did not mean to hurt you. Either way, it's your life's lesson to be careful in trusting people about your most personal secret.  Because how you value these secrets is different from how others value them.  It's precious to you; for them, it's nothing. Even if they are your friends for years, their perception of something will always be different from your perception.  
See the situation as a mind-opener and move on!  But even if you are hurt, try not to carry hate within your heart.  Who knows, this friend who hurt you now may be your life saver (as Prosumer's story suggest). Be strong!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If that was me she did that too and it was suppose to be a personal secret and she told, I would let her tell me something personal and write it all over the bathroom wall or I will do you one better just feed her with a long handle spoon that will hurt her the most or just don't pay her no attention at all and when she have nothing to gossip about then she will think twice about the next person she try and do that to because the next person might not be so polite.Anyway I hope I helped you out anything else you need advice on just drop me a line and maybe I can give you some more advice.Good day, take care!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Do you really want a friend like this? If you do, always remember she hurt you, don't give her the chance to hurt you again. Only tell secrets to anybody if you don't mind them getting out, if you do, don't ever tell. With this you can either deny it, or ignore it, whatever don't give a reaction, then everybody will get bored and move on to the next bit of juicy gossip. Hope this helps x
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well I see lots of people have said. I would say that if the secret is something very bad and you don't want the school to know about it then j deal with them by saying that its not true. Or either just be brave and face it, don't worry too much abt it, whats done is done, best to forget about it and remember tht those ppl may have worst secrets of their own.

For friend: Well, I understand as shes  old friend you cannot stop talking to her, or be nasty to her, so no revenge. Next time, you know who not to confide into. Whatever happens in life, you always learn s frm it.

Best of luck
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Unfortunately there isn't anything you can do about her blabbing it, but you now know who your real friends are
and if it comes back at you, stand up to it and be strong, sometimes things aren't as bad as it seems.
Ber Gales Profile
Ber Gales answered
Drop her. If she is telling your secret, then she isn't a good friend. A true friend is someone that you can trust to keep a secret and someone that you can count on in hard times, not someone like that.
Steven Vakula Profile
Steven Vakula answered
I advise many people in my line of work and I will ask them "how many people should know the combination to a safe before a safe isn't safe"?

The answer is anymore than one person and the safe will not be safe! This is classic and unfortunate lesson that everyone learns at one point or another in their lives! If you want to keep a secret then do not tell anyone! Sad but true! People will talk, People will snoop, People will show their true colors whenever entrusted with something that will give them power, and edge or some dirt that can be used as they feel empowered with the ammunition that you have entrusted with them. It may not happen right away but there will be a fight or argument, some type of falling out and the majority of people will turn on you! It reflects their immaturity and true nature as it is hard to find someone that you can trust with such a valuable secret! Many a person has fallen, been betrayed and turned in to the authorities by just such a mistake. You would probably be better off had you anonymously posted it on-line that to tell someone you know as they know who you know, hang-out in the same place, etc.. You know have to keep your chin up and act as if she is full of it, and endure the pain! The pain is the only thing that will show others if what she is saying is true or not. Act like you think she is crazy, but steer clear of her! Learn you lesson! Keep a secret where it belongs, in a secret place!
J. Martinez Profile
J. Martinez answered
She shouldn't be sharing your secrets with anyone else.  She needs to be told that you do not appreciate her doing this.  If you chose to confront her, make sure that you do it under adult supervision and in a public place. You can also text her, send her an e-mail, or I'm her expressing how you feel.
Lynne Dwyer Profile
Lynne Dwyer answered
Awww, poor sweety. Sounds like your friend needed to be the center of attention for awhile. Granted, you can no longer trust her with personal issues. But if she's been a friend for a long time, maybe you can just keep things simple between you two. Sorry darlin, sometimes even our friends fall short of who we believe them to be.
suman kumar Profile
suman kumar answered
Tht's truly unfair on your friend's part. It is very disgusting when we hear to see people doing these types of things. What I would definetly suggest is try to talk to her & explain to her that it is unfair on her part to do this.
Personal secrets are there not to be shared with everyone. You should have assesed the reliability of the person to whom you are revealing your secret.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Try black-mailing her, lyk tell her tht you'll reveal all her secrets. Now thtz the evil way.

OR announce she just went crazy and doesnt know how to fool evry1 for april fool's day..wow, funny!

Maybe you shud just leave it alone, I mean..evry1 has had embarrising moments or stuff which shud be kept as secrets..its just tht they dint reveal it.

You can also cover it up by makin another tale..depends upon the secret.
Stevie Howe Profile
Stevie Howe answered
Well, 'a' don't be friends with her anymore!! And 'b' it's going to sound like stupid/shallow advice but I would bond with other people by bitching about her!!!!
Cyndi C. Profile
Cyndi C. answered
If you don't want the world to know your business, it's best to keep all personal business to yourself.
Talk to your friends about the weather or something like that! Love, cyndi
Octavia Blakey Profile
Octavia Blakey answered
Thats pretty messed but to honest I think she has no life at all I would never tell her anything at all.
Apirl Profile
Apirl answered
If she doesnt listen to reason then you can try talking to her family if they are close. That might help some other wise don't tell her anything else personal.
thanked the writer.
christina burt
christina burt commented
I'm not gonna just stop telling her stuff she's still my friend and now she's seen this question and WON'T talk 2 me!!! God...........i've screwed this up haven't i? )-:
Michael Lai Profile
Michael Lai answered
There's nothing you can do, and once she gets tired of telling people about it, and that everyone has heard about it, then she'll stop. Plus, everyone will think she is a big mouth. Why not get her to spread some rumours that are not true, and then she won't have any credibility (but I prefer to just do nothing really).
Charice Miller Profile
Charice Miller answered
Well, she's NOT a true friend so stop hanging out with her - or telling her secrets!! But first, tell her to shut the hell up coz you trusted her and show she;s blabbing it around to everyone! I f she doesn't listen fight fire with fire. Sure, it's stupid but what other choice do you have?? Go around and tell everyone her secret!

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