Anonymous

I Am Not Sure If My Boyfriend Is A Player. How Can I Tell?

7 Answers

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Players are gifted, charming, liars.  They tell you what "you want to hear".....
If their actions do not support their words - you have your proof.  I was engaged 3 times
to a player who had a million excuses as to why he couldn't treat me as well as he treated the girls he tried to bed ( during our many breakups)... Found receipts for roses, dinners, shows, clothes, etc. Etc. For OTHER women but he never took me out ONE TIME - not even a hot dog claiming he had no money.  He also spent wads of money on Viagra - for OTHER women.
The last straw was when we were supposed to be married in a month - and I found him on TWO dating sites pretending to be SINGLE.  He never answered his phone in my presence.. And one day - I looked at his computer. There he was on Yahoo Messenger with at least TEN women as "FRIENDS".... Who I knew nothing about.  Ladies - trust your gut. It will never fail you. If it feels wrong.... IT IS..  A man who loves you will make you feel secure, protected, and valued.  A player has no clue what it means to respect a woman.  You know why? He has no respect for himself. His character is FLAWED. Liars are cheats. They go hand in hand.   He's about WINNING the prize - he could give a flying fig newton about relationships. It's all about what he can get.  Sex, love, money, gifts, favors..... And if you doubt that?
WHAT did he give YOU?  A LOT OF DRAMA.  Lose the loser... You will be replaced in 5 min ( he usually has a stable of women in the background lined up already)..... And.. Remember.. YOU cannot change him.  YOUR love will make NO difference. The only lesson you are teaching him is that he can USE YOU and you will FORGIVE HIM so he can keep doing it over and over until you have NO self respect left. Don't be me.  LOSE HIM.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
You find out he has a myspace, facebook, tagged, match profile that he never told you about.  When you confront him about it, he gets defensive and has an excuse for all of it.

You try to get a hold of him and he is unavailable at night or on the weekend.  Or he waits hours to get back with you.   His excuse...I was depressed, with my kids, phone was in my car, fell asleep, battery was dead....

When you feel like he isn't being transparent with his actions...listen to your inside voice, it's there for a reason.  If you feel like you are getting played...you probably are.

After spending the day with you, he goes off at night to help a friend out.  

Think about it...is he more into you when you can provide something for him? Sex, money, good time, food.    

He will keep making promises to you that he never keeps.  This is so you will be kept in the game. Also, does he dangle promises for the future in front of you?

Do you feel confused by his actions?  Do his words match his actions?  Do you find yourself making excuses for his bad behavior?  Does he get defensive if you call him out on his flirting or disappearing acts?  Have your friends told you that he is a player?  Has another woman warned you about him?   These are all sure signs of a player.

True love and commitment will never make you feel worried or scared or alone.
ka wa Profile
ka wa answered
1. Is frequently unavailable.
2. Turns his cell phone off, silence, or just does not answer calls in your presence.
3. Suddenly has lots of friends in need of his help.
4. Starts spending free time with friends and family.
5. Does not introduce you to friends and or family.
6. If you question his where about he turns the tables on you.
7. Lies!!!! Forgets the lies eventually and tells you that you must not remember what he said...(you are not a good listener)
thanked the writer.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
Also one must remember that a true player in the most natural of sence can not be caught by this because cause in order to be a true player one must be a master of time management. Ladies if you really suspect your man of cheating ask him for a weeks schedule in advance and if he tells you that cant produce one for u to make plans, and he works a 9 to 5... He's a player in the purest form
ellen wilson Profile
ellen wilson answered
Just open your eyes...You may already know the answer.

A trusting relationship between two people never makes one person feel insecure and on the outside.
A man that loves you unconditionally takes pleasure in showing you how he feels, because he receives the same from you.

The way your mate looks at you, talks to you alone and around others, reveals how he truly feels.

Action does speak louder than words.

If he never brings you around his friends, family or job, I would ask him why.

Some men don't want to reveal until they are sure that she is the one. However, there is nothing wrong with saying, this is my friend.

So..if you are not even known as 'a friend'...I'd say yes, he's concealing you, and maybe he has something to hide.

ASK HIM!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If you are doubting your relationship, ask him. One of my ex's was a player, sweet guy but hurt me a lot.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
The biggest givaway for me is the way the guy smiles. He can hold a great conversation, but really, he's skin deep. In a guy, he JUST. ACTS. SLEEZY. He'll talk about money at least periodically. Not to be trusted.

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