Oh, I'm sorry, this is a horrible situation to be in, what can one do, one feels divided loyalty. Are you sure, do you know for sure, could you prove it? Don't say anything to your dad right away, instead, think of speaking to your mum, she will probably deny it, she may even fly into a rage (unfortunately this is also a sign of guilt). Someone who isn't guilty, doesn't need to explode to deny it.
If speaking to your mum doesn't help, I think you have to hold the secret, it's sad but I don't think telling your Dad will help. Do you want to divide the family? He may not even believe you and at the end of the day, it's your parents business not yours. Imagine how you would feel if you found out that your father already knew!?
I have been in this situation before, and trust me, I know....its horrible! First very important thing to remember is that NONE of this is your fault. You probably feel that you are keeping a secret from your dad, and you love your dad and can't keep it from him. Do you have any other siblings? And if so, before you think of saying anything at all, it may be a good idea to sit down and talk to them about the situation before it comes as a shock to them...but only if you feel they are old and mature enough to accept this. I know when I spoke to my younger sister about this, she was very upset but glad I had let her know. The truth is, no matter how many people tell you to try and stay out of the situation, the problem never ever goes away. You feel you have to tell someone and ask for advice, but the truth is, no one person has a good solution to a situation like this. How I dealt with this, I personally feel I couldnt have done any better. I already knew and had solid evidence that my my had beem cheating on my dad, and you need to firstly be able to prove this, or be able to explain this clearly. After I knew this, I had spoke to my uncles girlfriend which I had a close relationship with. I had already been through my mum cheating on my dad once before when I was younger, but my dad had found out for himself. This time I knew and he didnt. I had spoke to my uncles girlfriend asking for advice about what to do. She had told me to hold on until she had spoke to my uncle about the situation. My uncle was my dads brother! But they was absolutely fantastic, and knew my mum wasnt good for my dad. A few weeks later, I had plucked up the courage and allowed my uncle to phone and talk to my dad about everything I knew. My dad was fantastic! Surprisingly he had already has suspicious, so your dad may too. My dads main concern was my sister and I. That will/should be his main priority too. Unfortunately bad things do happen, but they can work out for the good. If you have someone close to you, I would advise you to talk to them, it will take a lot off you shoulder. Its not fair and not good for you. You should be your parents main concern, and if you have a concern, you should be able to approach them. Good luck, I'm sure everything will be ok :)
I am in a similar situation too.I think my mum has been going out with a man for 10 years and my dad has been suspicious but my mum always denied it.but I listened to my mum talking to her sister about him and crying that they broke up.I hate the fact but I didn't tell her anything.once I was very mad at her and wanted to tell her that so much but I didn't.I controlled myself.I know it's very hard but you have to.I don't want to tell my father about this.adultery is something that most of couples do in different periods of their marriage so I don't want to destroy my parents marriage by telling what I know.besides,my mum is a successful woman and she cares so much about us (me my sis and dad).she loves us but I don't know why she dated that man.I'm not mad at mum for what she did.I just want her to be happy.try to understand your mum too.don't tell your father.it would be wrong if you did.don't destroy your family.
This is a potentially distressing situation but do you have any real proof that your Mother is being unfaithful to your Dad? Sometimes things don't turn out to be anything like you think they are. If you are very distressed about what you think is happening do you feel that you can talk to your Mum about it? The best way to put your mind at rest is to be honest with her. She might be really taken aback but at least you'll know the truth if she feels that she can discuss her relationship with you. If you have no real evidence for this it would be a huge mistake to tell your Dad and hurt both your parents, particularly if there's nothing really going on. Talk to your Mum before you think of doing anything else.
Stay as far away from the situation as possible. I realize this will be very difficult to accomplish. Find stuff to do outside the house. Don't go to anyone around the situation for advice. You don't want to start the gossip. Talk to someone far removed. You truly don't know the whole story. Trust me you don't want too have to choose.
Find out the facts first. If she is indeed having an affair TELL YOUR DAD! He may need to get tested for std's for your moms infidelities. Its not fair to let him suffer for her indiscretions. Its obvious that your mom is selfish and reckless. Your dad deserves to be with a faithful woman who is knows what she wants in a relationship and can be open about her needs without rushing to another man first.
Write notes, pretending that you are your mom and you're writing to your lover, the butcher at the meat market. Leave them where you father is sure to find them.
