How do you feel better? Try listening to music. Take a walk. Exercise. Write in a journal. Talk with a trusted friend. Concentrate on school. Eat a spoonful of ice cream without guilt. Hug your dog. Pet your cat. Get on line and ask/answer questions with us! I am sorry you are hurting. It will get better... One way or another. 🤗
By listening to your mother. :)
I am sure there is a reason why she won't let you see him. Maybe listen to her reason or reasons, and actually consider them. Why it may not make you feel better right now, it may in the long run. You can also tell your mother what it is you miss about him. Maybe you can come up with a compromise and she will let you see him while she can chaperone. That way she can get to know him better.