MIL is denying the gender of our soon to be first born. We have showed her ultrasounds clearly showing its a girl but she insists it's a boy and he is just hiding himself because that is what her son (my husband) did?

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7 Answers

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

This is such a blessed event. Please WHY pick this as a battle? Just love your MIL for her heart means well but when your beautiful daughter is born, none of this is gonna matter.

Barb Cala Profile
Barb Cala answered

I guess that's her choice to believe.  But the truth will be found out when your baby is born ... Don't let it get to you. 

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sky Good
sky Good commented
I try not to but sometimes it just gets under your skin. Its always something with her. Just like when we first found out I was pregnant she tried saying it wasn't my husband's (havent given her any reason to think that) but that was quickly not an issue anymore after my husband jumped her ass. Then it was that I wasn't going to the doctor enough even though I have had a completely healthy pregnancy so far. Tried getting me to go the doctor for the sniffles or for even normal pregnancy symptoms then gets mad when I don't go. Then gets mad when my husband won't give her money because we have to get stuff for the baby. Just can't win with her really.
Sharron Prestcott
You need to set some firm limits with her or she'll be unbearable once the baby arrives. For her to say the baby was not your husbands is really vicious and it's good your husband put her in her place.
When she starts giving unwanted advice tell her you are doing exactly as your doctor recommends and there is no reason for discussion. Stick to this answer too once the baby arrives or she'll drive you crazy insisting you're doing everything wrong and that's not the way she did things.
This is your baby and your rules she has to follow.
sky Good
sky Good commented
Thank you! I just didn't want to be too vicious or too submissive.
Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Well, I hope she defers buying anything blue for a while.

A response like "Well, that would be an interesting outcome" would probably be a good way to leave it as a possibility without having to think on your part that it is in any way likely.

Obviously, this issue will be resolved in a reasonably short period of time.

dragonfly forty-six Profile

Can I give you some advice? Do not go there with her. Accept that things will be difficult with this one. Accept that you will most likely ALWAYS be the bigger person. Know that she will get under your skin. YOU picked this man, and ALL that he entailed. He AND his family are a package deal. Take my advice: You really LOVE your man? Then never ever make him have to pick between you and his mother. Never ever complain about his mother. Even though she's a pill, you must leave her be. Complaining about his mother, to him, hurts him. You cannot have a tug of war if you are not holding one end of the rope. For the sake of your husband, leave his mother alone.

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Danae Hitch
Danae Hitch commented
Kudos! Best answer yet!
sky Good
sky Good commented
I suppose your right
Even though he agrees with me on how his mother is being I realize it must hurt. His sister can't stand her own mother but she just moved out of the house. But I suppose my indifference seeing as I'm an outside source still must hurt a bit. And yes I do love and accept my husband and yes I did know what I was getting into you are right. Its just gotten worse since we found out I was pregnant and since his sister graduated and is going off to college in a couple weeks. I understand there could be a deeper root to her acting out.
dragonfly forty-six
Thanks, Danae. :)
@sky I understand. My advice to you was from seeing many friends fight with their MIL's, in the end it was always the man that they shared who paid the price. Even though more times than not my friends were in the right, in the end the price was just too high.
Walt O'Reagun Profile
Walt O'Reagun answered

If she's as much of a PITA as it sounds from your responses here ... Talk to your husband.  You may need to consider cutting her out of your life, until she changes her ways.

Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered

So why stress yourself out here worrying about the small stuff and who really cares as long as the Baby is healthy. MILs will always be MILs so accept it and move on and anyone who their son or Daughters marry will always be wrong no matter what.  She will know the truth when the baby is born and this is probably why for some many centuries, Parents were not allowed to know the gender of the baby before birth. Congrats and good luck

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