Is my boyfriend cheating? We had our 1st child this year in April. He was distant during the pregnancy but now he is just cold. He shows no affection, we have no sex life, he won't help with the baby. He denies all of this but refuses to talk about it.


7 Answers

Rooster Cogburn Profile
Rooster Cogburn , Rooster Cogburn, answered

Hard for any of us to really say ! His refusal to talk about any of it makes me wonder though. His complete lack of interest in his child is extremely cold and needs to be dealt with. That shows a lack of maturity on his part. I suggest you make him talk about it or threaten to leave! I raised two step kids as my own and many men have no problem with that. Talk or git !

Cookie Roma Profile
Cookie Roma answered

And you stay with him because?

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yeahsure linda
yeahsure linda commented
Agree, why stay if he isn't helping? Make him leave,he will have to share in the care of the baby & pay child support.
Cookie Roma
Cookie Roma commented
Absolutely right
Candie Hend
Candie Hend commented
I really can't tell u why I stay. The big reason is my children. I have two boys from a previous marriage, ages 10 and 7 and he has always been great with them. They love him to death.That why is so confusing as to why he is this way with our biological daughter.
Walt O'Reagun Profile
Walt O'Reagun answered

If you aren't married or engaged … it's really not "cheating".

Time to get a lawyer and draw up the child support/visitation papers.

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Walt O'Reagun
Walt O'Reagun commented
Correct ... but rings are generally a significant indicator in the person's investment in the relationship. No ring - especially after 6 years - is a pretty good indicator he really has no interest in being tied to the relationship. (As his actions prove)
Bikergirl Anonymous
I know plenty couples who are not married .. who are quite satisfied with how things are and happy not being married and are completely 'invested' in their relationship.
Bikergirl Anonymous
.. and I must also mention, I also know couples who have married, and routinely cheat .. So really .. there is no weight to the argument that a ring is the only indicator of a commitment. The truth is .. a ring is only a symbol .. Not everyone puts as much faith in a piece of jewelry.
As much as I like being married (and gave been for a loooong time) .. I personally do not put my faith in my wedding ring to prove my husband married me for all the right reasons .. I put my faith in my husbands love. Ring or no ring .. I feel he is as commited to me, as I am to him.
Moga Deet Profile
Moga Deet answered

Don't have kids out of wedlock.  It is just a bad idea.  He may feel like the baby has trapped him in a relationship.  He may think the baby isn't his.  Some men really have a hard time dealing with the demands of an infant.  Some men can't have a sexual relationship with a woman they perceive as a "Mommy".  It could be a million things.  Sit him down, talk about your feelings and see if he will consider counseling together.

Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Cheating is your only concern?  He's withdrawn and distant and probably very unhappy considering he is uninvested in your dysfunctional relationship but is trying to do 'the right thing' by living with his child's mother.  Why aren't you asking why you are staying together as a couple .. And what this cold and unconnected 'relationship' is going to offer your child. Why aren't you asking ... How can you fix this (as a couple)? Is this worth fixing?  How can you re-connect? Why does he stay?  What can you do .. as a couple to make this 'work'? What kind of example is your loveless relationship portraying to your child ?

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Candie Hend
Candie Hend commented
Actually I'm new to this site and my original question was very similar to what you are asking me. That is not my biggest concern. I'm trying to figure out the huge behavior switch. We have been together over 6 years
Candie Hend
Candie Hend commented
My original question was way too long to post is what I'm saying.
Sally Dawson Profile
Sally Dawson answered

I'm really sorry, Candie. That's just a horrible situation to be put in, both for you and your children. Emotionally immature men are something we all suffer from, I promise you! I wish you the best of luck and I believe you will make it all right :)

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