If it were me, I'd ground her and beat the living sh!* out of him.
I've discovered that my teenage daughter has been performing oral sex on her boyfriend while he watches porn. I don't want her to know that I have spy software on her laptop, but I want this pervert gone. How can I break them up?
I'd tell her that the computer has that on there....she'll be mortified and hopefully won't be bringing you a bouncing baby anytime soon.
I would wait a few minutes before calling for the napalm.
First of all, neither what she is doing nor the male equivalent is not usefully classified as perversion.
And whether you found out about it by accidentally walking in on them or by "spying" on them---don't let that distract you from the real issue.
And the real issue is them behaving in such a way while coming to terms with their what sexuality is and should be is not the best way to do things.
So far only they, you, and perhaps your husband or wife (you posted as "anonymous") are involved---I suggest you don't throw a party with them as the featured guests in the "humiliation game."
So talk to them. Make it perfectly clear that you know what they are doing and how you know is unimportant. Also let them you know that you will not tolerate such behavior between the two of them.
(That eliminates the accusation of "you are spying on me and you don't trust me" And the obvious "this feels so darn good and is so much fun, how do you possibly expect me to think that I should give it up? And possibly, "But we can't get pregnant.")
That approach, plus some honest, accurate information about sexuality and how it tends to bond two people beyond their ability to discriminate as to value has the best chance of actually having them consider stopping such activity (if not immediately, then perhaps sooner than later) as opposed to them just making absolutely sure you never catch them again.
Keep your eye on what you want to accomplish here.
Good luck; you can do this.
Didn't you think this through before you added that software? You're the parent. Tell her she's busted and educate her on what her sex games could lead to. It's your job to make sure she does the right thing. If she's underage .. call the cops and let them handle it.
1. Both under 18 Sex Education and let his parents know.
2. If he's over 18 call the police.
3. If "teen" both are over 18, its not your business. Legal adults.
4. Its your business only if you told her not to be having sex in your home.
5. Consensual oral sex is not perverted sex and legal. Also agreed to by legal consenting adults 18 and older.
I am just adding this because of your comment to Otis. Because there are some good answers here.
You say you are concerned because you feel she has misguided love for him? Maybe. Maybe not. If you are concerned about that when things are calm have another conversation with her. Explain her worth. Explain that you never do for another at the expense of herself. Sometimes girls need to know these things. Talk to her about her self esteem, and your concerns.
In your question there are a few different issues at play. Your role as a parent is to untangle those issues, act accordingly and address the different issues according to urgency. Take a breath and make a plan.
Sit them BOTH down, and say you have spyware on your WiFi router and know what they were doing. And then contact HIS parents, as well.
sounds like both are perverts send them to dr phil . just tell your daughter she is caught
No offense. Parenting can be really difficult. But this just sounds like misguided youth built on a parent-child relationship of mistrust. One would wonder where the daughter's low self-esteem comes from and the loneliness that puts her in a position to be pressured, The needs of acceptances in children are first placed on their parents. If they don't feel accepted by their parents, they'd probably strive for acceptance from their peers to cater to this.
Were there talks about the birds, the bees, and sexuality? I mean if your kid is going to be in a teenage relationship, you'd sit the both of them down and have a friendly conversation.
But considering the spying, hidden cameras, and fear of child running away. I doubt any kind of serious conversation would turn out friendly. I think there's a much bigger problem here. One that you need to figure out and address between you and your daughter.
Teen adolescents filled with hormones and hitting puberty?! Perverts!? ....Please.