Anonymous

Am I a horrible person? I've been with my gf 2 years and I just want to go back to being single, I've never cheated but have been tempted and don't want to break her heart. Is there a way to break up with someone without breaking their heart?

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PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

No, you are not a terrible person. If you are not fulfilled in a relationship then breaking it off is the best thing. Sorry, there is no way to break it off without hurting your girlfriend, but leading her on is just as hurtful. You just have to talk to her face to face and tell her even though you care for her, you know she is not the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you think it is time for you both to move on.

Jojo A. Profile
Jojo A. answered

Well, you could be honest with her. You are not a horrible person when you have a change of heart and priorities. You are actually more thoughtful than most in feeling like you are doing something wrong  and not wanting to hurt someone you care about, that is very admirable.  That being said you still need what you need in your life and  must not live a lie with someone. Your best bet is to tell her how much she has meant to you in the past two yearned that she has been a good friend as well as a good girlfriend. Then you might say that you, find yourself feeling anxious about continuing in the relationship and possibly hurting her. You might say you find yourself thinking of being unattached right now and that it is not because she has done nothing wrong, but because you do not know where your head is right now and because you care for her you feel its better to be honest and tell her you want to be single and reassess your life because in a relationship you can't give yourself full attention to what's next for you. You need to say that you understand that this is painful and hope that she understands that you need time to figure yourself out, even if it means losing her completely. Tell her you want her to date other guys, because you believe that if two people are meant to be together they will find each other and nothing will keep them apart. Tell her you may totally regret it in a week or a month and will tell her if that's true, but not expecting that she waited for you and might have moved on to someone else. Better to know now how life is without her than to marry her and feel this way in a few years. You can't possibly find magic words to string together that won't being some pain, but be sure to say you understand that it hurts and don't expect her to wait if you do find you made an error, but that right now you are trying to be honest and going with your gut that you need to figure out what's going on with you that you are giving up such a great girl.

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