Anonymous

Should I stay with a woman who loves having me perform oral sex on her but tells me "I don't do that" when I ask her to return the favor?

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4 Answers

Angela Anthony Profile
Angela Anthony answered

Well I think that would be completely up to you! 

If you have a problem with her not "giving" oral sex, and she's not willing to even discuss it then you might think about what you really need in a relationship.

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DAMIEN BAKEN
DAMIEN BAKEN commented
The relationship is indeed one-sided. Her way or the highway. She has ended with me via a 3-second text on her cellphone but I'm having a real hard time accepting that I'm dumped. 
 Doesn't take my phone calls and I text her every day which I know I need to stop doing. HELP!
Angela Anthony
Angela Anthony commented
Damien, put yourself out there, you'll find a woman who cares about you for you. Let this one go as she seems pretty self centered.
DAMIEN BAKEN
DAMIEN BAKEN commented
Thanks.
Nice Girl Profile
Nice Girl answered

I think you shouldnt stay with her because as you say or what all you've told us, that simply shows she's a selfish woman and is using you. 

When some day she will fall in love with some other guy she'll just say good bye and leave you! So I think staying with this kind of person isn't much good!

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DAMIEN BAKEN
DAMIEN BAKEN commented
That's what I think is going on already! She met a former ex at church while I was there last Mother's Day and joyfully practically lept into his arms! 
 I suspect she's back with him and couldn't wait for me to make a mistake so she'd have an excuse to show me the door! Yes or No?
Curtis  Hosler Profile
Curtis Hosler answered

You should seriously consider taking things slow with her. If you love her then it may be worth it to you because you will be happy. But start taking notice of other things,  how many other instances can you find where in the relationship where she receives but doesn't give?  That may give you a little insight into what a long term relationship will be like. 

If you're just in it for the short term and you just need her around to satisfy a need,  sex,  companionship etc and you get along and at least get most of what you want,   I wouldn't worry about it. There are always others down the road waiting to begin an adventure with you,  don't be in a rush: )

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DAMIEN BAKEN
DAMIEN BAKEN commented
Thanks for that. I think I need to keep away from this person. I am beginning to realize that I had no chance with her. She is fiercely independent and likes to do what she wants, when she wants. 
For instance, she travels to other countries, or to visit her parents who live far away without telling me. If I don't have the money to go away, she leaves anyway and makes me feel inadequate/impotent and even despised.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

This is a difficult question because it really does depend on what type of relationship you have together.  If you're simply together to have a good time in bed, then she's probably not the one for you.

If you're in a committed relationship, however, then you need to weigh up how much your partner means to you.  Is the lack of oral sex a big enough issue to ruin a good relationship? There are a few other things to consider however.

Why doesn't your partner want to engage in oral sex?

It's probably a good idea to ask your partner why it is that she "doesn't do that".  Does she simply not enjoy it, or is she worried that she's not very good at it?

Working out why she doesn't want to perform oral sex may be pretty straightforward, and if it's for a trivial reason, she may actually be open to discussing the possibility to doing it at some point.

Is it fair to expect her to do something she doesn't like?

It's easy to assume that she should perform oral sex on you because you've performed oral sex on her.  In principal this a pretty sound argument although it's a little more complex in reality.

If your partner really doesn't enjoy performing oral sex, is it fair to expect her to do it anyway? I'm sure there is some sort of sexual act that you'd really not engage in.  Would you like it if your partner was considering splitting up with you if you didn't do it?

It's a tricky situation.  If oral sex is more important to you than other parts of the relationship with your partner then perhaps you're better off being with someone else.

On the other hand, if you value your relationship with your partner then splitting up over her dislike of oral sex seems a little extreme.  It's all about compromise, and I think you should sit down and discuss this issue with her to find out why she doesn't like oral sex.

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