Anonymous

I'm in a controlling relationship with someone who had a crush on me and refused to accept the fact that I rejected him. I want to tell him I don't like him but he actually has me scared. Advice?

5 Answers

Angela Anthony Profile
Angela Anthony answered

If you rejected him, how is it that you're in a relationship with him? Just wondering.

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Roy Lovett
Roy Lovett commented
I wondered the same thing lol I just guessed tho and said she or even he (depending on preference) meant it as friendship...?
Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

Well that would depend on your particular circumstance.  Personally, I would want to get to know a person before I commited to a 'relationship' .. For  this exact reason. Jumping into a relationship blindly with both feet is more often a shot in the dark, and getting to know someone only to find they are not of substance or just simply completely incompatible results in a difficult and awkward situation. Personally, If by chance, I found him to be someone I could cultivate a relationship with but discovered a 'change' in his demeanor after spending more time with him, I would take care of that issue at the moment in time where he becomes controlling .. By saying .. That is unacceptible, and I am not a doormat. If that treatment is something HE thinks IS acceptible, well then, we are at an impasse, and have to part company.

If that won't work for you and you have the ability to be honest and upfront with him with a level of sensitivity that will spare his feelings as much as possible .. By saying something to the effect that you are just not in a place right now to commit to any relationship.  If you do not have that ability .. Tell your Dad, and let him take care of it.  I'd bet THAT tactic would work wonders.

Being bullied into a relationship is NOT a 'relationship' .. it's prison.


Roy Lovett Profile
Roy Lovett answered

Well, if you rejected him is the relationship you have more of a 'friendship'? If he's controlling you and not letting you make your own decisions, if he's demanding, etc.... You have to get rid of him before it gets worse. He sounds... Unstable. Bikergirl's answer was nice, I agree with her, tell your dad, ask him for help.

AnnNettie Paradise Profile

Choose a proper setting for the discussion of the matter. What could that be? Well, think how you would like to be treated in such a situation. Would you want the announcement to be made in front of others? Likely not. Unless circumstances make it advisable, it would be best not to terminate a relationship by means of a telephone answering machine, a text message, or an e-mail. Instead, choose a time and safe place that will enable you to discuss this serious matter. Be firm and unafraid in your decision. Be safe, be happy!

Sharron Prestcott Profile

You've been bullied into a relationship which you know is wrong for you, you're not happy and he wants to control you.  You have to break away from him but you have to be careful how you do it.  This is a very unhealthy position to be in, he doesn't want to let you go so you should get someone to be with you when you tell him

Be firm, YOU take the control away from him.  Tell him you don't want to be with him and you don't want him to contact you anymore.  Whatever means he's used to get you into this relationship has to stop.  If you feel threatened then call the police and get a restraining order on him.

You don't have to live like this, men who need to be controlling often go on to be abusers you must get out of this situation.

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